Alexia Eden(89)

He growls, roughly pulls my armso my body clashes with his , then he picks me up and sits me on the cold counter. He places his large body between my legs and holds my hips so I can’t move. I try to get away but he growls louder and I quickly succumb. I avoid looking into his eyes and even his bare chest so I look down at my hands that are trembling as the tears fall onto them from my chin.

He tries to wipe the tears away but I slap his hand away. “Don’t…just don’t Jax…what’s done is done. I get it okay.…just don’t touch me.” I pull my hand up to my face to cover the sobs that take over my body.

I don’t want him to touch me after he’s been with her.

He pulls me into his chest and holds me tight against his body ignoring my objections as I shove and push at his chest, he rubs his hands down my hair and back trying to calm me and it works and the fact that he still has this effect over me makes me cry harder.

“Shhhh…baby it’s okay…I’m here, I love you Lexi.” He whispers into my ear.

“No Jax…you don’t love me enough for this to ever work. Do you know how shit I feel every time I even give Drake a peck? You can imagine how bad I felt when things got more serious. But I never slept with him Jax….never. I’ve been avoiding him all week because I don't want to hurt you. I can’t even sleep because you’re all I can think about and everything you said that night was true, I am a slut, I’m so selfish because I want both of you!“

He tries to interrupt me but I stop him.

”No! Let me finish then you can talk, I need to get all of this out. I know I have no right to feel this betrayed that you slept with someone else, but that’s it Jax, I never slept with my own boyfriend and you were so quick to sleep with some random girl. It hurts so bad and it shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have these feelings for you especially when I know you don’t feel the same love I feel for you. Jax don’t you get it? I’m in love with you… and… I’m in love with Drake, what am I supposed to do now? Tell me Jax… because… I really don’t know…” I say as I burst into tears but he continues to stand there silently as I wait for him to say something comforting like he usually does. I push him off me with all the strength I’ve got, he moves away and gives me a sad look but he says... nothing.

I stand there for a few minutes waiting for something to come out of his mouth but he doesn’t say anything he only gives me a sad detached look, I can’t stand there another minute longer.

He doesn’t love me back….not the way I love him.

I turn and run back up the stairs as I get to my door I quickly wipe the tears away.

I have to get out of here…

I quietly walk into the bathroom and dress, I don’t really care what im wearing so I pull on a long vest and a pair of black tight leggings; I wash my face and pull my hair into a pony. I exit the bathroom and notice Drake is still fast asleep. I climb in bed behind him and cuddle up to him, I give him kisses on his cheeks and he begins to wake up.

As I look down at my handsome boy I scold myself for even thinking of leaving him for Jax, I tell myself that from now on I’m going to focus all my attention on him. Drake loves me as much as I love him and he deserves all the love I have…even if that means letting go of Jax. I swallow the lump that’s forming in my throat at the thought of losing Jax but it’s something that has to be done if I want to keep Drake.

“Hey babe, why you up already?” Drake says in a husky voice stretching out his arms.

I climb on top of him and hold tightly onto him with my face in the crook of his neck, I don’t want him to see the tears that are now falling. I’m going to miss him so much these next couple of days, I'm so ashamed of the way I’ve been acting and treating him, that’s why I’m crying. I’m not going to waste anymore of my tears on Jax.

I clear my throat as I say, “It’s already six in the morning cutie, I want to leave before everyone gets up. I can’t say goodbye to Ronny and them, it will be so much harder for me to leave but I had to say goodbye to you. I don’t know if I can do this Drake… I’m going to miss you so much.” I say as I look down at him.

He pulls me closer into him and cuddles me into him and nuzzles my neck.

“I know baby, but we’re going to speak to each other every night and I’ll see you this weekend. I don’t want you to go either but I have to do what’s best for you. I love you Lex and I’m going to be right here when you get back.” He gives me a soft kiss and hug. I climb off him and tell him he can go back to bed and I will text him when I get there.