CHAPTER 35:
ALEXIA POV
How did I end up like this? Could I possibly be anymore broken? Is this what he wanted? Did he want to break me completely … ?
He was right, I deserve this … I deserved everything he did to me for betraying him. How could I ever doubt my love for him? Of course I love him. I betrayed him more than he could ever know, if he only knew how I actually felt about the other boys … he'd probably kill me.
Death sounds pretty good right now … no more pain … just an eternal sleep.
I don't think I can handle the twins touching me right now. Talon should never have put doubts in my head, I know I can't blame him and I only have myself to blame. I should have kept my hands to myself, I should of kept some sort of restraint. I knew there would be repercussions for my actions but I still kissed them knowing I would have to deal with Drake. All of this is on me.
I tried again this afternoon to heal my wounds. I healed a few of the cuts on my back and bottom. I stopped trying to heal myself when the backlash pain of the healing process crept up on me and it was worse than the beating itself. Clearly it's easier for me to heal others and deal with their pain than to heal myself because that pain was more excruciating.
I delete all the messages in my mail box and place my phone behind me on the bed. I lay there for a couple more hours and look out of the window at the perfect peaceful sky that is now darkening, I try to block out the flashbacks of last night. I don't have any tears left to cry … I'm all dried up. I hear a car outside and my body tenses as I lay there staring blankly at the window.
I hear the door open and keys being thrown on the kitchen counter. The heavy footsteps coming down the passage confirm my fear as it gets closer toward my room. I see Drake in the reflection of the window looking sadly down at me as I lay stiffly on the bed.
He saunters toward my cupboard and I can hear him shuffling around in there. He doesn't say a word. He throws something on the bed behind me and I flinch as it hits the bed. I see him from the corner of my eye freeze when I do this, as he's about to leave he spots my phone lying behind me, he picks it up and I watch in the reflection as he puts it in his back pocket, then leaves the room.
I stiffly turn my body to look at what he threw on my bed and I see clothes. I let out a whimper as I push my body into a seating position, there's still welting on my bottom and bruises where the belt left it's marking, it's throbbing and uncomfortable. He picked out a pair of skinny jeans with a long sleeve sweater. With great difficulty I managed to put the clothes on, the denim from the skinny jeans rub against the carpet burn I have down my one thigh from being dragged on the carpet by my hair last night. I grimace at the memory and swallow down the pain. The long sleeve sweat shirt covers all the bruises that cover my arms, the bra and my underwear don't do much for the tenderness on my back and ass but it will have to do. The bruise on my neck still shows too so I find a soft scarf to wrap around and cover it.
I use makeup to hide the remaining bruises on my face but I can't hide the purple bruise on my one eyelid so I decide to cover it up with a dark makeup. There are also a few scratches where Drakes ring on his hand grazed my face when he dealt his punishment.
"I deserved everything I got for betraying him." I repeat out loud as I looked at my face in the mirror, my choice of makeup covered most of it up leaving only two scratches but that can be hidden by my hair. I brush my hair but squirm when the brush touches my raw scalp.
I'm surprised he didn't rip any of my hair out with the brutality he inflicted when he yanked at my hair last night. I love him. I deserved everything I got for betraying him. I repeat in my head to remind myself that it's my fault that I'm in the condition I am. I can't bear to look at myself in the mirror any longer, I'm disgusted and disappointed in myself for letting things get as far as they did. I stumble over to lean on the bed as I put my pumps on. I look at my hands noticing my knuckles are also bruised from punching and smacking Drakes hard chest last night, I know they aren't broken or sprained, just heavily bruised.
I deserved everything I got for betraying him …
I grab my handbag and slowly make my way to wherever Drake is. I try to walk without limping but I can only hide it so much. The pain worsens as I try to walk up straight down the passage. I spot Drake sitting on the chair in the living room with his head in his hands, he senses me coming and he quickly straightens. I avoid looking at him and make my way toward the door. He closes the door behind him and I wait by his car for him to unlock it. I notice my car is still missing but I'm too afraid to ask about it so I'm just going to pray he brings it back before I leave on Monday morning.
He leans into open the door for me. I try to move as far away from him as possible hoping he doesn't notice. He opens the door wide but before I can move to slide in he grabs my face hard with his one hand. I flinch and back away until I'm leaning against the car with him tightly against me.
"Say it." he grits out and I know exactly what he wants me to say.
"I love you." I say softly looking directly at his chest.
His fingers dig into my jaw more roughly. "Look at me Alexia, say it and mean it." He spits out.
I haven't looked at his face once since he got here and I don't think I have the courage to see if his eyes are still black. Truth be told I'm too scared to actually face him after what he did.
I deserved everything I got for betraying him … I remind myself.
I slowly lift my eyes to see his dark ones looking back at me. "I love you Drake."
I watch as he visibly relaxes and his hand softens on my face. His thumb is now caressing my jaw softly and his eyes transform back to hazel.
"Good girl." He steps away from me giving me room.
I slowly step toward him trying not to let one inch of my body touch his, he steps away giving me my space and I slowly ease my body into the car. I let out a moan as I finally get my rigid body comfortable in the seat, he slams the door and I flinch.
Drake climbs into the driver's seat while I'm trying to put my seat belt on. All my movements are slow and jerky, my whole body hurts from the bruises and the torture it went through. He seems to notice me struggling with the seat belt because he quickly snatches it and snaps it into its latch. I let out a quick breath and pull my hands away so I don't have to touch him. If he noticed my response, he doesn't show it.
As we drive along the streets to the restaurant, I lean my head on the head rest and stare out the window. He puts the radio on but it doesn't ease the tension in the car.
I let out a whimper as he puts his hand on my leg above my knee. I look at his big hand as he starts to gently rub my leg. I can see him looking at me from the corner of my eye so I quickly look back out the window trying not to move away from his touch or look him in his eyes, I'm too fearful of what he might do. I hear him let out a deep sigh and I shiver hoping I'm not making him angry.
We reach the restaurant by the beach. As he shuts the car off and steps out, I open the door and attempt to scoot my lower body out of the car trying to numb out the pain because the medicine that Chloe gave me obviously isn't working since I can barely get myself out of the car. It's not like the medicine Georgina would have had, well … not that strong at least.
I try and try as fast as I can to get out before Drake makes his way to my side but with every move I make it feels like I'm being ripped open and all the closed wounds are opening up. I grab the side of the door and use all the strength I have to pull myself up as I let out a small wail. I quickly limp away from Drake as he moves closer to close the door for me. I lean against the light pole trying to slow my breaths; just the effort I put in trying to get out the damn car took all the energy from me.
How am I going to get through this night?
I hear the cars sound for the automatic alarm and he starts walking towards the restaurant leaving me behind. I try walk as fast as I can keep up. He heads in as I follow him inside watching my steps as I attempt to walk without limping. I don't look at the people around me, I only look at my feet walking trying to focus on everything else but the pain I'm in now … one step, two step, one step, two step …
I notice Drake has stopped walking a few steps ahead of me as I look at his red sneakers and the bottoms of his black jeans. I slowly raise my eyes and see we are near the table where my friends are seated. They're sitting out on the deck facing the ocean. I notice Ronny and Chloe sitting next to each other calling me over, Rachel and Mark are also there smiling and waving. I see the back of Jax's head and I internally groan … this night couldn't get better.