“Yeah well, you can keep it I don’t want it, you can have these too if you want.” I say handing all my other frames to her that holds photos of the happy girl I once was. She doesn’t say a word but shrugs and walks out my room with them.
After unpacking, cleaning my room and the bathroom to my standard – meaning spotless, I take a shower and get dressed. Walking back to my room I hear chatter in the kitchen so I head out to see who’s here.
“Oh my! Georgie! This can’t be Lexi!” she says looking at my mother and pointing to me.
“She is gorgeous! You’ve grown up so much since the last time I saw you!” A skinny lady with slightly yellow hair, I’m guessing it’s supposed to be blond, runs towards me and gives me a hug.
Not sure whether to take the part where she says “this can’t be” as a compliment or an insult, because I certainly don’t know what the fuck she meant. Shrugging her off of me and raising my brow as I internally say what the f…
“Hun, it’s so nice to meet you, mom here has been telling me all about you, I can’t get over how beautiful you are. I’m Amber, your mom’s friend from back in the day. I’m so happy you guys are staying so close to me – I’m a few houses down, you have to meet my niece I’m sure you guys will get along since you’re both around the same age!” She rambles on chattily as if I’m her long lost sister and pats my hand as she talks. She offers me some wine from the bottle that they both have been drinking from, but I decline – there has to be at least one responsible person in this damn house.
“Georgina, have you seen my bag of clothes? I’m missing most of my shirts and jeans?” I say after going to check the car if anything was left in there but she stops me shortly with her reply.
“Oh honey that’s because I left them behind, you need to stop wearing those crappy clothes, you can wear some of mine since we’re about the same size and as soon as I get paid we can go shopping and get you some new clothes that AREN’T black!” she says this with a wave of the hand as if it’s no big deal which has me internally screaming and I’m pretty sure if this was a cartoon steam would be coming from my ears around about now but I close my eyes , roll my shoulders and take a deep breath, letting the anger fade but I can feel her watching me, waiting for an outburst and if I stand here one more minute in her presence I’ll give her exactly that.
“Seriously whatever, I don’t even have the energy to fucking argue with you right now, I need some fresh air ...” I say walking off putting my flip flops on as I go. Wandering off the patio in the back I hear Amber yelling after me.
“Don’t go too far hun, it’s not safe in those woods at this time of night and don’t go up the hill near the log cabins, those folks aren’t fond of people on their land…” she carries on mumbling, but I’m just not interested in anything anyone has to say right now. I just need to get away from Georgina and get some space to breathe.
Walking behind our trailer, all I see is the forest and trees, I don’t know what makes me do it but I really don’t care. I need to get away for a little bit. Trailing a distinct path, I hear what sounds like water flowing, I follow the sound and come to a small waterfall in the middle of the forest.
CHAPTER 2
Walking to the big rock near the water, I lie down with my knees up and my arms folded under my head looking at the sky scattered with stars above me, the full moon looks beautiful tonight. Lounging in the ambience and peacefulness of the quiet night I begin to think whether this solitude I find myself hiding in is something I still really want. Pushing people away is far more harder and lonelier than I ever thought it could be, I know this path I’m leading can only bring more unhappiness and even though becoming emotionally distant with everyone besides my mother was a good idea at the time, I’m not sure how long I can deal with being alone since the only person I want to notice me doesn’t acknowledge me and I don’t know if my mother ever will again especially when I’m a constant reminder of what she lost.
It’s quiet out here, all you can hear is the trickling of water and the wildlife surrounding me in the dark night. Usually I’d prefer having earphones in my ears with blaring music just so I can’t hear my thoughts… but this, I actually enjoy this silence. It’s peaceful out here in the dark, the only light coming from the full moon above me.
Thinking to myself about my father, I let out a sad sigh.
“Daddy, why did you have to leave us? I don’t think I can do this on my own…” I say out aloud as if he could possibly answer me.