At the age of fifteen I felt that my life was great, my friends were amazing, my parents were the perfect duo and we were all as happy as could be, seeing my parents work through all the hard times that life threw at them, they still overcame it all, it really made me truly believe that love could possibly conquer all…
Guess that was before daddy was killed in the car accident when an eighteen wheeler truck skipped the red light, before mom started taking prescription drugs to deal with the depression or before we were thrown out our home because we didn’t have money to pay for it since mom stopped looking after the Gyms and spent all the money on anything to take her mind off what was really happening.
Let’s just say that nobody told me what to do or what would happen when you lost that one person you loved so much, the person that you would do anything and everything to be with them, the one who was your soul mate, your other half... the person meant just for you…
Two years later and three months into my senior year, mom’s friend Amber, and a few hours South in a small town called “Point Bright” found mom a management job in the bar she works.
So here we are, on the road to our new home...
CHAPTER 1:
Guess whoever named this shit-hole “Point Bright” didn’t see what I was seeing.
Our new home, which turns out to be similar to any other trailer park is surrounded by a bunch of small houses. The houses are encircled by wooded area and forest.
The two years since dad’s death has been a nightmare, I thought it would get better...that mom would somehow see that I also lost someone, it felt as if I was alone that I did not only lose my father but my mother too.
As if the alcohol wasn’t enough, mom was prescribed pills to deal with the depression of losing my father, she obviously enjoyed the feeling she was getting when she used them because she started taking the drugs on a more regular basis, when the prescribed drugs lost the edge she craved she decided that something stronger was needed.
I don’t even know what she’s taking anymore - she’s moved on from alcohol, to taking pain killers to cocaine. I cringe at the memory of accidentally walking in on her in the bathroom while she was snorting it, she was too drugged up to even notice she left the door open and I was leaning against the frame watching her. She doesn’t even remember me throwing the shit down the toilet or the fit she threw when she realized her last fix for the day was gone. That didn’t stop her from going out and getting more though…
I’ve done everything - I’ve tried yelling and telling her how I need her but it always ends up the same way. Her telling me that she has nothing to live for and that I should just be happy that she’s still around.
Yeah… that hurt like a bitch, but I was done crying, I cried all I could the day I said goodbye to daddy at his funeral and it felt better when I cut off everything, when I blocked it all out – people say that you shouldn’t keep everything bottled up inside but I disagree.
I don’t let the hurtful things my mother says when she’s high get to me anymore and I don’t let the sadness creep in when I think about daddy…I can’t. I don’t feel much anymore therefore I don’t cry anymore, it all works out better this way. The day I begged my mother to stop with the drugs only to have her slap me and tell me to piss off was the last time I let my emotions show, I know deep down I am weak but that doesn’t mean I want others to see it.
I don’t know why she doesn’t see that she still has me to live for! Doesn’t she see that I’m still around? That I need her! She’s not the only one that lost him, I lost him too! I don’t know this person she has become, since she started with the drugs she’s been acting as if she’s my age, cussing and wearing slutty clothes that barely cover anything- she has the perfect body but she’s attracting attention from the wrong guys. I think she tries to see other guys just to forget about dad but nothing can compare to her prince charming, none of these low lives could ever live up to my father, why can’t she see this and stop wasting her time?
“Lexi get your ass off the car and help unpack!” she shouts from the front door of our new home.“I’m on my way Georgina! Can you give me 5 minutes to stretch my legs!” mother hates it when I call her by her first name, but I told her the morning after her first boyfriend came for a “sleep over” that if she wasn’t going to act like my mother then I wasn’t going to call her one.
“Lexi! You seriously need to stop that shit! It’s really starting to piss me off. Fuck sakes give it a rest!” Mom yells huffing and puffing as she walks toward the car to get another full bag.