I think Alex truly needs me, and every minute I spend with him, I'm afraid the feeling is becoming mutual.
Our breaths come out harsher the faster Alex moves within me, mine practically wheezing out of my lungs. Digging his fingers into my skin, he endears himself to me further when he pants, "Are you okay?"
"More" is how I answer him, and he groans in response.
He also gives me more.
I spiral out of control so very fast, and I don't try to even hold myself back. I just imagine myself throwing my hands up in surrender and falling down into a vortex of mind-blowing pleasure as I start to orgasm. Alex feels me fracture … hears me as I come because I'm crying out in desperate relief. He answers me with a hard slam into my body, pushing me all the way down into the mattress where the entire length of his hard frame comes to rest on me.
He comes beautifully as his hips continue to pump, his mouth resting by my ear as he murmurs, "So fucking good, Sutton. So fucking good."
My hair is covering my face as I turn it sideways to rest on the pillow. I can feel Alex's fingers as they start to push the long locks away so he can look at me. I blink when the glow of his bedside lamp hits me, and I see his beautiful face covered in sweat and satisfaction as he gazes at me. His face clouds in concern and his thumb sweeps just below my right eye.
"You're crying," he whispers.
"I am?"
Moving off of my back, Alex lies down at my side, peering at me closer. "Yeah, you are."
"Tears of joy," I assure him. "Tears of ecstasy. Tears of the best freakin' orgasm ever."
Chuckling, Alex pulls me into his arms and I roll slightly so that he can pull me in tight. My outside leg slides in between his and I feel him still semi-erect and pushing hotly against my lower stomach. It makes me want him again-already. I curl my arm around his waist and snuggle in tighter.
"Am I too rough with you?" Alex asks quietly as he strokes my naked back.
"No," I assure him hastily, because God help me I love him rough. "Why do you ask?"
"I just don't really know any other way to be."
His father deprived him of a normal childhood and gave him something twisted to replace it. I'm thinking that perhaps Alex may not have ever seen what love and care look like. I'm assuming his early sexual experiences were frenzied and wild, because no love or tenderness was involved. It makes sense to me, for a man who has never had a real relationship … he may just not know any other way to be.
And while I love the way Alex touches me-possesses me-in bed, it makes me a little sad that maybe I won't see more than his wild abandon.
Trailing my finger along the warm skin on his chest, I ask, "Do you still talk to your father?"
Alex flinches slightly from my question but doesn't hesitate in his answer. "Sometimes."
He doesn't offer me more and I can tell by the tightness in his voice that there is so much more to the story. Because it's my job to listen to others, to get them to confront their demons, it is inherently part of my nature to push at him. "What kind of relationship do you have with him?"
Sighing, Alex rolls to his back but pulls me along with him so that I'm lying partially on the right side of his body. "I'm not sure 'relationship' is what I'd call it. He criticizes my game and I pay all his bills. That's about all there is."
I think there's more, because I can sense it in the tired tone of his voice, but he's not going to share more than that.
"Any brothers or sisters?" I ask, changing the subject but still focusing on family. I'm dying to know more.
"Older brother … Cameron. He owns a franchise hardware store back home in Hamilton."
"Does he have a relationship with your dad?" I ask, pushing … always pushing.
Apparently, too far. Alex releases his hold, pushing me gently off his body. Rolling out of bed, he says, "I'm going to get some water. Do you want some?"
Feeling self-conscious now that the heat of his body is gone and I'm exposed to his view, I pull the sheet up over me, anchoring it under my arms.
"Sure," I say softly, watching as he walks out of the bedroom, gloriously naked, stunningly uninhibited in his nudity, yet completely closed off in most other respects.
Chapter 19
Alex
Looking in the mirror, I rake my fingers through my hair, not caring at all where the locks may fall, and give my appearance a quick once-over. I need to leave soon to pick Sutton up for dinner and I'm anxious to see her.
You wouldn't think so, considering I made an unscheduled visit to the crisis center to see her about three hours ago, compliments of some plotting with Miss Minnie, the front desk receptionist. Yes, I had been on a road trip out west for the last five days and even though I had plans to spend the evening with Sutton, I had found my mid-afternoon to be sorely lacking and took it upon myself to go see her.