Alex (Cold Fury Hockey #1)(62)

My gut clenches a bit over hearing her proclaim she had love for the guy. I know rationally that they once loved each other, but hearing it said out loud, in conjunction with the fact that she feels an obligation to him, doesn't feel so hot. A flash of jealousy hits me hard and I try to tamp it down.

And because I really need to know exactly how she feels about me, and because I'm too chickenshit to ask her outright about it, I go in a roundabout way. "Do you still have feelings for him? Want me to back out of the picture?"

I pose the question in a lighthearted way, trying to convey that her answer isn't really that important. Only I know-in this very moment-how fucking important it is, which I suppose is why I'm holding my breath awaiting her answer.

Sutton picks up her own napkin and wipes her fingers. After she lays it down on her plate, she leans forward onto her hands and knees and crawls toward me across the carpet and around the edge of the coffee table. Without pausing a beat, she crawls right onto my lap and straddles me.

My hands immediately go under her bare ass, gripping her softly, and the semi I have been battling since the pizza arrived goes full mast.

She wraps her arms around my neck, leaning her head down and kissing me softly on my neck. When she pulls back, she looks at me thoughtfully. "No, I don't have feelings for him. Nothing beyond a vague fondness for what we had. He was my first love, so that was special. And I most certainly don't want you to back out of the picture. Any other questions?"

"Actually … I do have another question," I tell her. It's something I've been mulling over since last night. "I was snooping through your medicine cabinet at your house before I left this morning, looking for some mouthwash."

Her eyebrows rise upward over my confession and she smirks at me in good humor. "Sneaky."

"I know," I confirm. "I found your mouthwash, which I'm hoping made for a better kiss goodbye, but I also noticed the birth control pills in there."

"Yeah?" she drawls in question over where I'm going.

I hesitate for a moment, which is completely un-Alex-like. I never hesitate over anything, which is a testament to the overinflated ego that my father helped to create.

"I want to do away with the condoms. I want to fuck you bare-with nothing in between us."

I let my words penetrate, offering nothing more. She has nothing to worry about from me. I've always worn a condom. I've also been tested every year in my routine physical, which is required by the Cold Fury. I'll provide her that information but I want to see what her reaction is first.



       
         
       
        

Sutton's eyes go wide in astonished wonder. I notice a stain of blush on her cheeks, and I start to think that maybe I've gone too far in my desire to possess her in a way that's been different from all others. But then I notice the heat that seeps into those lovely hazel eyes and she licks at her bottom lip. She'd never be a poker player in the bedroom. I can see clearly that the idea turns her on.

"Okay," she whispers, her legs subconsciously gripping against my hips a bit harder. "I've never been without a condom before. I mean … the pills are to regulate my period. I was on them long before I ever had sex for the first time."

"I've always worn a condom before," I assure her hastily. "And I've been tested. I can give you my records."

Shaking her head immediately, she tightens her arms around my neck. "No, I trust you-"

"I don't mind," I interject.

Leaning in to kiss me, to silence me, she pulls back and looks at me deeply. "No … I trust you, Alex."

Guilt flashes through me because maybe she shouldn't. I'm completely telling her the truth about my sexual history and the fact I'm clean, but the fact that she trusts me so implicitly means her feelings are getting deep. Mine are too, but let's face it-anything more than a scratch against the surface is practically subterranean for me.

I just hope she's not falling in so far that I have the power to destroy her when my inherent nature takes over.

"Okay," I tell her, rather than warning her away, because I want her too much in this very intimate way to listen to my own misgivings.

"Any other questions?" she asks cheekily.

Grinning at her, I rub my fingertips over her soft skin. "Nope. That satisfied my curiosity and has made me very eager to fuck you again."

I start to lean in to kiss her, because damn, I want her bad. The thought of having no barrier between my hardness and her softness has my blood raging. But she pulls her head back a bit. "Well, then I have some curiosities of my own."