As if to answer that, her nausea returns. She runs back to the bathroom, just barely making it. Her stomach feels better afterward, but feelings are still vague.
"With Max helping me, I could be a good parent." Tiffany sits down at her dining table, in front of the papers the clinic gave her. She pulls them over, looking at the clip art of tiny babies on the top of the first page. Looking at them makes her feel anxious.
She imagines what the child growing within her might look like. Would it look more like her, or like Max? Would it have her nose, and his lips? Would it have her hair, or his? Imagining the baby as a little girl makes the center of Tiffany's chest burn with love.
Placing her hand on her stomach, her heart flutters. Within her is the first thing she's ever created. How could she destroy such a precious gift?
Tiffany smiles, rubbing around her belly button and looking out her window. "I'm going to cancel the abortion, Dad."
Tiffany calls the clinic when it opens at 10. She's surprised to hear the secretary's voice full of relief when she says she's canceling her appointment. It makes the red head feel even better about her decision.
Max texts at 11:45 to say he's on his way over. Tiffany calls her work to take the day off before tidying up her apartment. She forgets, however, to put the papers from the clinic away.
When Max gets there, he looks tired and wrung out. "You look worse than I expected."
Max grunts and flops down onto her couch. "I have a problem."
"Oh no," Tiffany groans, sitting down with him. "What now?"
"I told Dad about you and Charlotte. He kicked me out and cut me off. Jared says he's going to give me money, but I spent the night crashing on his couch. I was wondering if-"
"If you could stay with me?" Tiffany finishes. He nods. "I guess it's not the worst thing in the world. You can be here to help out if I get sick or need help getting to work."
"Thanks," Max says. "I'll do whatever I can to help out around here. Do you have plans for dinner?"
"Not yet. Do you know how to cook?"
Max nods, a smile twitching at his lips as he fights back a few relieved tears. "My maid taught me a few things when I was a kid. Remember that month where I was out of school?"
"Because you broke half the bones in your body?"
Max laughs, blushing. "It was a bad skiing trip. But yeah, during that month Rosie taught me how to cook burgers and grilled cheese and spaghetti. She even taught me a few casserole dishes. It's probably the most fun I've ever had."
Max stands up and paces around the room. "Have you seen a doctor yet, about the baby?"
Tiffany's nerves fire off. She shakes her head. "No, not yet." Not aside from the one who was supposed to abort it. Her fingers dance circles around her belly button as her heart flutters at the thought of going through with this pregnancy. "What are you going to do about Charlotte?"
"I don't know. I want to be there for her, too, and help raise that baby. She doesn't want anything to do with me, though, and you know how stubborn she can be. I'll just have to wait and see what happens, which means I get to focus on you."
The man moves closer to Tiffany and places a hand on her stomach. His face softens, and as Tiffany watches his green eyes swell with pride her heart begins to melt. She can't stay mad at this boy that she's loved for so long.
"Ah, I have to pee. Could you have a glass of water ready for me when I get out? I'm trying to drink more water. And we should probably go grocery shopping tonight, all I really have is junk food."
"I have the money for that. Jared said he'll be by sometime this week with a check for me, too."
Tiffany stops, thinking for a moment. "You can't rely on him forever, Max. You need to look for a job."
Max's jaw clenches, his lips going tight. "I know. I'm going to put in an application a few places online. I brought my laptop over, do you have wifi?"
She tells him that she does, and then goes to the bathroom. When she sits down, she wonders how this all might play out. Maybe Max will come to love her. How might it feel to have him touch her with love, rather than lust? What would his arms feel like, wrapped around her waist? What would his lips feel like, pressed against hers?
Her face goes hot as she shakes herself out of her erotic thoughts. I'm pregnant. Now isn't the time to be thinking of sex. Still, her heart is beating hard in her chest and her breath is shallow.
After washing her hands she splashes cold water on her face to refresh her and keep her thoughts from going to the gutter again. "Self control," she whispers, her eyebrows stitching together. "I need to have self control." It's never been a virtue she's possessed.
When she comes out of the bathroom, Max is hovering over the table with an empty glass. There's a paper in his other hand and his eyes are full of pain.
"What's wrong?" She asks, coming to touch his shoulder. Then she sees the papers he's holding. Shit! I left out the clinic papers!
He turns to her, his voice choked. "Are you getting an abortion?"
"I was-"
"You were going to get an abortion? Without talking to me first?!"
"Max!" She slaps the papers out of his hands, throwing them to the floor. "Max, I was scared! I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm still scared! You've met my mother! What if I turn out like her!"
"You won't?"
"How can you know that?"
"Because, Tiffany, you always took great care of me. Every time I was sick or heartbroken, you were there for me. You're kind, and you're smart, and even though you're a mess right now you weren't always a mess and you won't always be a mess. You're already a lot more mature." He takes her hands in his, his warmth radiating throughout her body. "You're going to be a great mother, and I'm going to help you. Please, don't get an abortion."
"It's fine, though. I already canceled."
Relief washes over Max's face. He sighs and rubs his mouth, his scruffy beard scratching against his hand. "Thank God."
"You really want this baby?" Tiffany asks, her voice small. Max pulls her in for a hug. His heart beats against his chest and Tiffany can feel it thudding against hers. Her red hair tickles his nose.
"Of course I do." He rubs her back, feeling the stress in her muscles. He finds himself amazed at how good this hug feels and, when she pulls away, how cold his body becomes. "We're both going to do our best. Now, let me get that water for you." He bites his lower lip, wishing to pull her in for another hug.
Tiffany bends over and picks up the clinic papers. She looks at them, studying her shaky signature at the bottom before crumpling the papers up and throwing them away. She might not have all the answers now, but if she and Max works together, she'll be able to find them. She's going to work just as hard as Max to make the miracle within her a happy, healthy baby.
10
Dr. Apfel, a short, thin woman of 48, presses against Tiffany's stomach. Every so often she'll give an inscrutible hum. Tiffany's face screws up with each press. Dr. Apfel stands back and writes something down on a clipboard, pushing her gray hair off of her shoulder as she does so.
"So, your tests came back with a few worries. You have a thin placenta and an iron deficiency. If you aren't careful, there could be complications."
Tiffany's eyes widen. "What can I do?" Max stands next to her, draping an arm over her shoulder. Feeling his warmth against her arm instantly comforts her, but the fear of losing her baby is more powerful than that. She bites at one of her nails.
"You should pick up an iron supplement and quit your job. Any unnecessary physical strain will increase the likelihood of a miscarriage. You said you're a waitress, correct?"
"Yeah."
"I was one when I was younger, too." Her blue eyes fix on Max. "You need to make sure she quits her job. Money might be tight, but the baby's life should be the most important thing."
Max gulps and nods, his arm flexing as he squeezes Tiffany closer to him. He looks down at her, her red hair covering her face so he can't see the single tear running down the side of her nose. Dr. Apfel reaches over and squeezes her hand.
"You'll be okay, dear. Talk to the nurse outside to schedule your next appointment." With that, the older woman disappears down the hallway. Max pulls away from Tiffany, stuffing his hands into his jean pocket. Tiffany has no health insurance, so he had to bring Jared's credit card with him to pay for the appointment. He flips it around in his pocket absent mindedly.
"Are you alright?"
Tiffany's eyes meet his as the tears swell over and down to her chin. "I don't know if I can quit! You don't have a job and-"
"It's going to be okay. I'm looking for work, and Jared is helping us until I can find a job." He takes her hand in his, the coldness of her skin scaring the hell out of him. "Trust me."