“Take off his babygrow and vest. Open the nappy he is wearin’, roll it up with one hand and put it into the bin bag on the side of the table. Before you do that though, pull out some baby wipes so you can grab them quickly to avoid a mess. A fresh nappy is to your right. When he is wiped and powdered, you put it on. Easy.”
“Easy? Missions to space take less fucking instructions from NASA than that!”
I burst into laughter.
“Are you okay?” I quickly asked when he dry heaved again.
Nico composed himself and nodded his head. “We got this, haven’t we, buddy?” he cooed to Jax.
Jax had his fingers in his mouth and was busy chewing on them, but when Nico spoke to him, he gave his uncle his undivided attention. He began to talk in his baby language, and it melted my heart.
“He does this with you, your brothers and my brothers all the time! He smiles and tries to talk, but with the girls he doesn’t have the time of day for them. He just grabs at them.”
Nico didn’t look up from unbuttoning Jax’s babygrow as he said, “He’s a Slater, it’s wired into him to choose bros over hoes.”
I snickered. “I’m tellin’ the girls you called them hoes.”
“I’ll deny it,” Nico said, grinning to himself.
I snorted and watched as Nico stripped Jax of his baby grow and vest. He did a good job in taking them off gently. He was about to open the wings of the nappy, but just as he was about to do it my apartment door opened.
I leaned backwards and looked to see who it was. I saw an arm and a colourful dragon tattoo that told me who my visitor was.
“Hey, Alec.”
Alec stepped into my apartment and closed the door after himself. He looked in my direction after hearing my greeting. He smiled and walked down the hallway to me.
“Hey, preggers.”
I deadpanned. “I told you not to call me that until I begin to show again.”
“Sorry, I forgot.”
I playfully rolled my eyes then screeched when Alec poked my sides.
“I can’t believe you’re six weeks pregnant,” he said in awe. “The first time you and Kane have sex after Jax is born and he knocks you up. His dick is lethal.”
I laughed. “It was a build-up of no sex for six weeks.. he just got excited.”
“I’ll say.” Alec laughed.
I shook my head, chuckling. “We wanted to try again anyway, so it worked out.”
It worked out all right, I was six weeks along into my second pregnancy, and we couldn't be happier about it. While I could have done with some time to lose the forty pounds I had yet to lose from my pregnancy with Jax, I was still over the moon.
This time around I would do things differently. I planned to regularly work out with Kane and eat better to help control my weight gain. I wanted to use some creams and oils on my skin to help reduce the chances of stretch marks. My stomach, hips, thighs and even my breasts got destroyed with them the first time, and if I could help it, I would try avoiding them completely on round two.
My body already looked like a purple and pink road map to Hell, I didn't need to add to it.
“Is Dominic still here?” Alec asked, gaining my attention.
I nodded. “He’s in here.”
I leaned my shoulder back against the doorframe and snorted when Alec came up behind me so he could see into Jax’s room.
He said, “What the fuck is he doing?”
Nico still had his fingertips on the wings of the nappy, but he hesitated in pulling them open.
“Changin’ his first nappy,” I answered Alec.
He grunted in distaste. “Why?”
“Because Bronagh is pregnant. He needs to learn.”
Alec huffed. “What’s there to learn? You take off the dirty diaper, wipe and powder, and then put on a fresh one. I watch Teen Mom, I know what I’m talking about.”
“It’s not that easy!” Nico hissed without taking his eyes away from Jax and his nappy.
Alec snorted. “Sure it is.”
“Help me then,” Nico challenged.
“I got this,” Alec said and slid past me into Jax’s room.
Alec moved over to Nico’s side and looked down at his nephew.
“My little man!” he gushed. “You’re so cute—oh Jesus! What is that smell?”
Nico grunted and covered his nose with his hand. “It’s Jax.”
“Oh, bro,” Alec whispered and plugged his nostrils with his fingers. “That is not right, should he smell like that? He might have a disease.”
Nico gasped and girly slapped Alec’s shoulder. “Don’t say that!”
I was holding onto my side because a stitch developed from laughing.
“He is fine,” I panted, “that’s just a normal smell.”
Alec scrunched up his face in disgust. “It smells like something crawled up inside his ass and died.”
“Stop it!” I cackled.
Alec shook his head as he looked down at my son. “You out stink Storm, buddy. That’s not cool.”
Jax was still chewing on his fingers as he laughed up at Alec and began to talk to him. Jax was having a full on conversation and Alec responded with head nods and funny questions.
Nico smiled at Jax. “Who do you like better, me or this chump?” He jabbed his thumb at Alec.
Jax grumbled a few sounds but in all honesty, it really sounded like there was a ‘lec’ sound in his baby sentence, which, of course, made Alec scream with joy.
“He. Said. Alec!”
Nico rolled his eyes. “He did not, he was blowing spit bubbles.”
“He did, too. He said my name. I’m his favourite,” Alec proudly announced. “Good choice, my little man.”
Nico shook his head at his brother. Alec grinned back at Nico. “When Bronagh has your baby, I’m gonna be the favourite with him, too.”
“I doubt that.”
“Never doubt the baby whisperer.”
The baby whisperer?
I slapped my hands on my knees as I cried with laughter. Nico and Alec were hilarious when separate, but together they were too much for me to deal with.
“Okay, baby whisperer,” Nico challenged. “You go get the butt powder while I take off his diaper.”
“I got this,” Alec replied with a firm nod of his head.
He looked at me and asked, “Where is the powder?”
I pointed to the bookcase that we converted into a holder for all of the things needed to clean up Jax. I had a few different powders for Alec to choose from, and I saw him tense up when he stood in front of the case and stared at them all.
“Alec!” Nico heaved. “Hurry!”
I looked to Nico and saw he got Jax’s nappy off and was currently dropping it into the bin bag on the side of the table like it was a live grenade. He grabbed a handful of the wipes, as in way too many, and quickly began to clean his behind and privates.
“It’s under his balls!” he cried out in dismay.
I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle down my laughter.
“I’m sorry to have to clean you here, bro,” Nico said to Jax who laughed up at him.
Nico shook his head. “You’re enjoying this aren’t you? You little fart.”
Jax clapped his hands together and it made Nico laugh. When he finished cleaning Jax up, Nico looked over his shoulder to his brother and shook his head. “What’s the matter, baby whisperer? Are you having trouble with the butt powder?”
“No!” Alec instantly replied. “I’m just trying to make a decision.”
“Well, hurry up.”
I began to howl with laughter when Alec fumbled with nerves as he looked for the baby powder. He was jumping back and forth from one foot to the other as if it would help him complete his task quicker.
“Alec!” Nico snapped. “Give me the damn powder! He doesn’t want to lie down anymore. Hurry!”
“Don’t rush me!” Alec shouted as he quickly scanned his eyes over the labels on the baby products.
“Ah-ha!” he whooped. “I found it. This is the one Kane uses on him!”
Nico growled. “Open it and give it here then!”
Alec turned and looked down to the baby powder. He gripped the body of the bottle with one hand and used his other hand to turn the cap.
Don’t squeeze the bottle!
I tried to flag him down and warn him of the impending danger, but it was too late. Alec opened the powder, and the pressure on the body of the bottle from his grip caused white powder to shoot from the top of the bottle directly into his face.
For a second everything stopped and, in slow motion, a cloud of white smoke consumed Alec’s head and upper body, but when I realised what just happened, I admit I wet myself a tiny bit.
I fell against the door frame as my laughter turned to wheezing. I crossed my legs to stop myself from having a full on accident and fanned my face when I felt like it was overheating.
“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Alec shouted, then sputtered as the powder got in his mouth.
“Don’t cuss!” Nico snapped.
Alec rubbed powder out of his eyes then reached out and smacked the back of Nico’s head. “Look at me! Don’t tell me not to fucking cuss!”
Nico bent his leg and tried to kick Alec with a backward strike. “If I didn’t have this baby on this table, I’d kick your ass!”
Oh, God, please.
I was going to have a heart attack from laughing. I watched through blurred eyes as Nico lifted Jax from his changing table and placed him into his playpen so he could take Alec on.