He must have put down the picture and walked over to her because she could see him out of the corner of her eye … standing so still it was like he was made of stone. She remembered how patient he could be from the first time they'd had sex, and she admired how he could wait to see what she was going to do to his cock. It would have been helpful for him to say something though because maybe she wouldn't say the words that hadn't ever left he mouth. His presence was comforting, and right then and there she made the choice to trust him. She glanced over to where he stood and hoped she was making the right decision. She opened up her mouth to let it out but stopped … could she really do this? She started again.
"I'm not who you think I am," she said as a starter. Lorna knew she was stirring the sauce like it required an advanced degree to handle the spoon, but she didn't want to see his face when she admitted her omission.
"We've talked a lot this past week, but you've never really said who you are beside the fact that your name is Lorna not Laura, and I know you have long black hair instead of a short blonde bob. You work as a boutique owner that sells really expensive dresses. Who else are you that I think you're not?"
"My name is Lorna Giovanni, and I'm the eldest daughter of Mario Giovanni." At the last minute, she decided she had to see what that knowledge would do to his expression. She'd been hiding that information, from anyone who didn't actually know the information as a fact, for so long it honestly felt like a weight had been lifted from her chest.
"So that would make the guy in the picture-" He stopped like he didn't want to make any assumptions even though she'd just given him the information.
"Lucca is my best friend … and my favorite cousin." She'd wanted to see what that information would do to him, and it wasn't as good as she'd hoped it be. Her thought was that he wouldn't think it was a big deal and maybe to laugh it off, but that didn't seem to be the case. He looked physically sick. The blood had drained from him face making him look a little pale, and he was looking around the room like he wanted to leave. This is what she'd always thought would happen if someone found out she was related to the man who was behind more than half of the crime in this town. It was hard to see him not look at her, but this is what she'd recall the next time she decided to tell someone of her horrible secret. Everything was going so well, and she had to take this time to tell the truth.
Aidan cleared his throat like he was going to say something, but she could see he was struggling to find the right words to say. He kept looking at the door, and she didn't know if that was because he wanted to leave or because he thought someone was going to bust through her door. She couldn't blame him for wanting to leave. In some ways, well in a lot of ways, it was a matter of life or death … his, if her father found out about him and didn't like him around his little girl. She'd seen enough of him struggling with what to say and what to do. Turning back to her sauce, she made the decision to let him go.
"I know that is a lot to swallow at one time. People say I seem pretty normal," she laughed a little and knew she'd better get him out of there before she embarrassed herself by crying like a baby. "You don't have to stay. I won't get anyone to come after you. No hard feelings. Really."
He was so silent she wondered if he'd left before she'd finished her monologue, but when she turned around he was still there … exactly the way he was before she turned away. Was he in shock? Frozen? She stared at him until he slightly shook his head. That must have cleared some of the cobwebs because his color looked better.
"That threw me for a loop." He sounded like the man she knew, but there was something in his voice that was distancing. She learned to read people more for how they behaved than what came out of their mouths. He was going to say everything was fine, but deep in her heart, she knew he had one foot out the door.
She could only nod and wait for the boom.
"Is dinner almost ready?" He said it in an almost conversational tone, but the clearing of his throat told her more than what he was saying ever could.
"Yes. I just have to put the garlic bread in the oven."
"Do you have wine to go with the meal?"
"I wanted to pick something up on the way home, but I forgot to make that one last stop." She knew this was an out for him, and she had already decided to let him take it. Why was she getting upset about it? She was decisive if she was anything, and her decision had been made. She probably would have to invest in some big girl panties because based on the tantrum she wanted to throw, she didn't appear to be wearing any.
"I know there is a wine shop a few blocks away. I'll run over there to pick something up … that will also give me a chance to clear my mind." He was trying his best to sound upbeat and normal, but she knew it was false. There it was … BOOM. He'd found a way out.
She wanted to believe that he was coming back to have dinner. He could have just said that something came up, but there was doubt swirling around in her head and heart. People became frightened when they learned who she was, and she couldn't blame them. Lots of people had told her they thought if they made her mad she'd get her father to kill them and their families. Little did they know, she was against most violence and would never be the one to request harm come to someone.
"Okay," she said so he knew she was fine with the plan. The way it came out sounded foreign because it couldn't be her voice that sounded that weak and sad.
He had come up behind her and moved his hand to cover the hand that had the spoon in it. Helping her set it down, he turned her so she faced him.
"I just need a few minutes to myself. I'll be back." Just the weight of him looking at her was enough to make her want to cry. She had to pull herself together. This is when she wanted to be her daddy's girl. Tough, rough, and taking no shit from anyone. Did she think her Papa would blink twice if someone didn't want to be around him? No. And neither should she. That's the way she should be thinking, but that was not what was happening.
She took a deep breath before responding as she looked up into the face she didn't know if she'd ever see again. "I know that was a surprise, and I want you to know that if you don't want to come back … it's okay. I'm not saying that I want that or that I won't miss you, but I don't want you to feel that if you leave I'll send my father's people after you."
"I said I'll be back." He said it so fast she wondered if he even heard her words.
She put her hands on both sides of his face and brought him down for a kiss. She just wanted to taste the lips of the man who had brought her so much pleasure … sexually and mentally. This last week had been more fun than she'd ever had with a man, and the fact that she was thinking long term should have been an indication that this conversation needed to be had. Putting it off until tomorrow wasn't really her thing, but she didn't want to see the devastation that she knew would cross his face. She ended the kiss before it got out of hand even though she was thinking of having sex one more time too, but that was too needy for even her to think about. One kiss would have to be enough.
"Just in case you go out and decide that it's not worth it to be involved with me and my family. I wanted one more kiss." She didn't need to say that, but it just popped out of her mouth. When she was younger she used to ramble when she was stalling, and she must have had a flash back. She hated that weakness was trying to peek through.
He gave her a quick peck on the lips before he backed up away from her. "What kind of wine did you want me to get?"
"Surprise me," she said with a smile on her face. At least she could give him that. Maybe when he thought about her, he would think about the good times and the smile she left him with instead of the way he felt when he was scrambling to get away from her. He didn't even give a response about her trying to ease his mind about her family. He was getting farther and farther away from her, and she knew that was not just in terms of his physical location.
"Will do," he replied as he walked out the door.
Lorna stared at the door for a few more seconds before she turned off the sauce and shut down the oven. There would be no big meal tonight and just the smell of the sauce was making her stomach turn. Before Aidan, she'd loved the peace and quiet of her home, but now the silence was deafening, and she turned on the television just to fill the void. Of course, it would be the news broadcast talking about crime being on the rise. Her family was the direct cause for that effect, and no matter how she tried to ignore it, that detail was going to shape the rest of her life. Silent room be damned she would rather listen to the screaming nothingness than hear about the deeds of her relatives. Doing something other than sitting on the couch may be helpful.