The bracelet that Aidan had taken to give to Lucca as proof that she still lived hadn't shown up anywhere, and she'd found surveillance that her father had done on Aidan that said he was living it up fucking every available piece of ass in sight and spending money like he'd won the lottery. That one piece of jewelry was worth over a million dollars, so if he could find someone to give him even half of that he'd be able to live like a rock star … for a few minutes at least. When she looked down, she saw what she usually saw when she thought about her bracelet: her one hand cradling and rubbing the spot where her sparkler used to be.
The biggest complaint she had with herself was how aroused she got when she thought of the man. It wasn't enough that he killed her cousin and stole her million dollar sparkler, but she still lay in the bed with her nipples hard and her pussy wet wanting nothing more than to be filled with the cock of a killer. That was humiliating. Had she no shame? He was good at what he did; this was true. He was a dirty talking, nipple biting, clit sucking, ass slapping, hair pulling, throat grabbing god, and her body missed him fiercely.
Was it true that she played with her pussy as she replayed the hottest sex she'd ever been unfortunate to have? Did she cry out his name when she came only to cry real tears of disgust and anger in herself only a few minutes later? Were there times she just wanted him back to hold and talk to in the dark knowing that she'd listen to his lies if only she could get a few moments of comfort? All of these things were true. She had thought she was a strong woman with her morals in check and her compass set on all the good things in life, but she was wrong. She was a fraud all the way around, and for that she could barely look at herself in the mirror. Only a loser would have the phone number of the man who was tormenting her mind. He'd given it to her when she was on her way out, and she'd looked at it every day as she battled the desired to curse his ass out or beg him to come and get her.
It was early in the evening, but she took out the rose flavored tequila that she'd confiscated from her Papa's liquor cabinet. There were only 10 bottles left of the prize possession as the man had ruined the business and the owner when he couldn't collect on the money the man owed him. There wasn't a time when her father hadn't drank a shot of the pink liquid and cursed his hot head. ‘I should have let him live and forever make this for me.' That is was what he said with every sip, but her dad would forever regret this like she'd forever regret the biggest love of her life.
***
Was she dead? Lorna felt like she'd been thrown in the back of a trunk and driven around in circles. Opening her eyes to the overly bright room, she saw the reason she had been jarred.
"Jeezus." Frankie, her 20 year old brother, said in a voice that was way too loud. "What the fuck are you doing in here?"
Lorna tried to remember what she'd been doing before she blacked out, but her mind wouldn't recollect what had happened. She sat up and discovered that wasn't a good idea as the room spun like she was on a broken amusement ride that was going full speed uncontrollably.
"What do you want?" She attempted to get up and get some water from her bathroom when she saw her room. It looked like someone had ransacked it. All of her clothes were on the floor and her bedding was all over the place. There was a pillow near the floor lamp that was broken, and her favorite Tiffany lamp that was usually by her bed had been shattered. "Who did this?"
"Oh my god, Lorna. You did this. We all went outside and when we came in we could hear you up here moving around with a thump here and there, but no one wanted to disturb you. No one knew you were doing all this. You are the quiet, peaceful one. I was sent up here to check on you since you've been quiet for a good while." Frankie was one of her favorite people, so it didn't surprise her that he was the one to check up on her.
She made it to the bathroom and bowed to the porcelain god until it seemed like her stomach was going to turn itself inside out. There was nothing left in there, and she felt a bit better. She took her time wiping her face with cold water and then patting her cheeks because she didn't want to go out there and see her younger brother. Her siblings used to look up to her, and now she was a disappointment to them all.
"I don't know what came over me," she said as the room had slowed down a little, but all was still not right in the world. Lorna sat on the couch that hadn't been touched by whatever she'd used to make this mess.
"Damn, girl. This is what came over you," he said as he held up the rose tequila and turned the bottle in his hands as he inspected the contents inside. "Were you trying to kill yourself?"
She looked at the 250 oz bottle and was amazed herself at how much was missing. "That wasn't my plan, no."
"It's a wonder you didn't die with all that in your stomach." Frankie looked like he was ashamed, and that made her want to cry even more. What in the world was happening to her?
"I won't do this again. Sometimes it's hard with how much my life has changed, but I don't want to let you guys down again."
If anything, he looked worse. She decided that looking somewhere other than at the brother who used to think so much of her would be a better idea than kicking herself when she was down and damn near out.
"Hold on," Frankie said as he walked out the door.
She wondered what he was going to get. He was the sneaky one of the bunch. If anyone wanted to know anything, he was the person to go to. She didn't know how he did it … maybe he had a calming way about him that made people want to confide in him or maybe he just looked through people's shit until he dug up the information. It was probably a bit of both, but he was everyone's keeper of secrets, and that was definitely the way he liked it.
He came in the door and sat on the couch next to her. "I know you've been beating yourself up about the whole Lucca thing."
"Frankie, I don't want to talk about this with you." It was enough that the room hadn't really stopped spinning, and now she had to deal with the disappointment that was clearly in her brother's eyes. She wanted to be left alone to deal with the betrayal of the man she was coming to have strong feelings for, but that was at war with the guilt she felt. Top that big bowl of confusion with the grief of losing her favorite cousin that was her protector, sound board, and friend, and she was ready to crack.
"You've got to talk about it with someone. Tonight at dinner was the first time I've seen you stand up for yourself since you got here a month ago. You've always been the gentle one, but you've never been a doormat. The problem is you feel guilty." Her brother was not the shee shee woo woo person in any circumstance; he was more like the guy who told you how it was straight up with no chaser. Usually she loved that about him, but right now it felt like slivers of glass on a third degree burn, and she wasn't as emotionally equipped to deal with that kind of pain.
"Frankie, stop it," she whispered because his words felt like physical punches and she didn't know if she could take him beating her from the outside while she did the same thing to her insides.
"Okay, look. I know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows this other guy who is blackmailing Pop. I wouldn't have even given it a second thought, but Pop's been acting weird. Not his usual weird, but it's deeper, and something wasn't sitting right with me." He pulled out a DVD and handed it to her. "I paid a lot of money to get this DVD, and what's on there isn't pretty. It's damn near horrifying, but I want you to see it."
She took the disc and turned it over in her hands. Could she handle anything horrifying? No. The thought of there being baby kittens that just couldn't reach the milk bowl was too stressful for her to deal with. If she could just get herself to tell Frankie that she didn't want to see it. He was right; she had always been the one to stand up for what she thought was right, and she was the squeaky wheel that would crank up the noise until she was heard and the problem was solved. That person was on vacation she hoped because she liked that person and hoped she was going to see her again eventually.
"It's going to change your life. It changed the way I see a lot of things. It's disappointing, and when I look at you and what you've been through, it breaks my heart. Someone has been feeding you a line of horse shit, and I don't think you'd believe me if I told you who it is. Look at me." Frankie was hardly ever this serious, so she looked at him just so she could see what he was talking about, and hopefully he'd just go away and leave her sit in her funk and cry.