Stayed the fuck away is what I should’ve done. That would’ve been the smart thing to do. Originally I’d stripped off as a joke, hoping to shock her and see her freak the fuck out. Wrong.
Honestly, I thought I had this thing with her under control. Who was I kidding? The minute she took her shirt off, I knew I was in deep shit. It was the last thing I expected her to do. I nearly swallowed my fucking tongue.
That first day when I pulled up beside her in the car park, and she was looking up at me, all adorable and shit. Something inside me wanted her. Needed her. I can’t explain it because it was something I’d never felt before.
I should’ve let her walk away then. But no. Stupid fucking me thinking with my dick again, I ran after her. I’ve never chased a chick before in my life. Never had to. There was just something about her. Something was drawing me in.
That day, she became my first ever female friend. I mean, fucking ever. The only female I’ve ever let get close to me. The only female I’ve ever let myself care about. I loved being around her. My attention span is lucky to last twenty-four hours with the others. Not her though. The more time I spent with her, only made me want to be around her more.
I knew in my heart if it went any further than friendship, it would change things between us. I didn’t want that. I needed her in my life any way I could have her. Before she came along, I thought women like her didn’t exist. The sacrifice to me was worth it. Losing her altogether was something I never wanted to happen.
I should’ve known my dick had other plans though. Fucker always wins out in the end. My feelings for her were supposed to be a secret. I was never supposed to act on them. She’s too fucking good for me, I know that. Too sweet and innocent. Being with someone like me would only cause her harm. Ruin her. That was something I never wanted to do. Not to my sweet-cheeks. She’s perfect just the way she is.
Even after I had her sprawled out on her bed, looking as beautiful as fucking sin in her tiny pink lace panties, I had to fight the internal war that was raging within me. How could I possibly walk away from the only girl I’ve ever truly wanted? Especially when she was just waiting for me to take her, devour her?
I didn’t stand a chance.
Growing up, I vowed never to put myself in that position. My mum fucked it all up for me. If you can’t trust your own mother, your own flesh and blood, how can you possibly trust any other female?
Unfortunately, even though hurting Angel was something I never wanted to do, it’s exactly what I did. Yesterday, I fucked her and walked away like a heartless prick. I treated her like she didn’t mean a thing to me. But, she does. She means everything to me. Even more after what happened between us. Best two hours of my life. I need my arse kicked for the way I treated her.
Sure, it’s not the first time I’ve walked away from a girl after having sex with her. I do it all the time. This is the first time I’ve felt like shit for doing it though. She deserved so much better than that. So much fucking better.
I’ve never fucked a girl I cared about before. Hell, I never cared about a girl until I met her. Yesterday was full of firsts for me. The first girl I’ve ever taken on the back of my bike. The first girl I’ve ever kissed. Yes that’s right. I may have been with a lot of women over the years, but kissing? Never. It’s too intimate. I’m not after intimacy. I’m only after a good time. Nothing more.
Fuck me, if this girl doesn’t make me want to do things I swore I’d never do. She makes me feel things I don’t want to feel. I’d been dying to kiss those plump sexy lips of hers from day one, to taste them. See them wrapped around my cock.
Until Angel, I’ve never held women in high regard. After growing up with that bitch of a mother of mine, I lost all respect for them.
Angel is different though. Don’t ask me why, she just is. She’s like no other woman I’ve known. From the first glimpse, she changed something inside me. I can’t even put it into words. All I can say is I knew within seconds, without a word spoken, that I needed to get to know her. Needed to be around her. Crazy I know, but that’s exactly how I felt.
All that’s ruined now.
Yesterday, after everything happened between us, it’s safe to say I was freaking the hell out. Freaking out about what we’d done, what she’d made me feel. Not a single woman from my past has ever made me feel the things I felt while we were together.
I could tell she was inexperienced, not like most of the sluts I’ve been with. I liked that about her though. I liked the fact she hasn’t slept around much. I’d take her, and her inexperience over all the girls I’ve ever had.