“Would you like to go for a walk along the beach?” I ask, breaking the silence.
“Really?” she answers, her face lighting up briefly. “You’ll come with me, won’t you?” When I see uneasiness cross her beautiful face, it worries me. It just proves again how she’s not coping as well as she’s making out.
“Of course,” I reply, trying not to let on how I can see straight through her façade. When she doesn’t move from where she’s standing, I take a step towards the sliding door and open it. “Come,” I say, holding my hand out to her.
••••
It doesn’t take long for her to liven up once we’re outside. It surprises me just how much. She told me once how much she loves the ocean. Seeing her out here now, it shows. The first thing she does once her feet hit the sand, is tilt her face up to the sun, drawing in a large breath.
We end up walking the length of the beach, which is easily a couple of kilometres. On our way back towards the house, she stops, sitting down on the sand. I can tell she’s not ready to go back inside yet, so I join her. If being out here helps in any way, I’ll stay out here all night if I have to.
Silence falls over us as the carefree woman I’ve seen over the past hour or so, slowly disappears again. I sit and watch as she picks up handfuls of dry sand, letting it slip between her fingers. Repeating it over and over. She looks deep in thought. I wish I knew what she was thinking.
“What do you think is going to happen when he wakes from his coma?” she asks.
“I don’t know,” I reply honestly. This makes her sigh heavily. Worry written all over her beautiful face. “Hey,” I add as I reach for her hand, giving it a small comforting squeeze. “Whatever happens, we’ll face it together. You’re not the bad guy here, sweet-cheeks, just remember that.”
Looking over at me, she gives me a small smile. “Thank you. Just knowing I have you helps.”
We continue to sit, our hands still linked, staring out at the ocean. I can see why she finds this calming. Having her near is all I need. Her presence has a huge effect on me. It has from day one.
We’re both lost in thought when a flash of lightning lights up the sky. The loud boom of thunder that follows makes Angel jump. Neither of us had noticed how dark and gloomy the sky had become.
“I suppose we better head back,” I say, letting go of her hand. “Looks like a storm’s on its way.”
“I guess,” she replies with a shrug. I can tell she’s disappointed. I hate that she’s lost the confidence to come out here on her own. It’s only been a day since she was attacked, so I’m hoping it’s something she’ll get past in time.
As I go to stand, a raindrop lands on my arm, followed by a few more. After brushing the sand off my hands, I reach out to help her up. “It’s starting to rain,” I say. Rain. Memories of what happened last time we were together in the rain enters my mind. Shit.
I pull her to her feet just as the heavens open up. Another loud boom of thunder has Angel jumping out of her skin and crashing into me. Her palms land flush against my chest. Is it wrong that I love the feel of her hands on me? My traitorous cock likes it too, springing to life. Fuck me. He knows, just like I do, how heavenly her pussy feels.
Sweet fucking Jesus. Why did I let my mind go there?
It’s something I try not to think about. It’s like a slow and agonising torture if I do. Wanting something you know you can never have again is the worst fucking feeling, ever.
When she lifts her face, looking up at me with those beautiful fucking eyes of hers, my hands instinctively slide around her waist, bringing her in closer. Bad fucking move.
The sadness I see in her eyes as she holds my gaze, tugs at everything inside me. More than anything I want to take her pain away. I want the girl I first met, back. The Angel she was before Benson and I fucked her over. The one who was so happy, carefree and full of life.
As I hold her, those feelings I try so hard to bury come creeping back to the surface. Why does she make me feel like this? I can’t explain it. I love it and hate it all at the same time. It’s such a foreign feeling, like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Scares the fucking shit out of me it does.
We can’t go there again. I know that, and I’m sure she does too. I’m not capable of anything more than sex, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her again.
As I go to pull back from her, she slides her hands up, anchoring them around my neck, holding me in place. The rain is pelting down. We’re both soaked to the bone. Her hair is plastered to her head. Droplets of water are pebbled all over her skin, her beautiful silky-soft skin I dream about. What I wouldn’t give to be able to run my hands over every inch of her naked body again. Lick every last drop off with my tongue. I try to hold back the growl bubbling in the back of my throat.