What happened tonight is partly my fault. If I hadn’t treated her so bad to begin with, she never would’ve ended up with him. If I hadn’t have stuck my nose in tonight, she more than likely never would’ve stood up to him like she did, which resulted in her being attacked.
Once we reach my bike, she stops in her tracks. She wraps her arms around herself. It doesn’t go unnoticed how she’s trembling. I remove my leather jacket and wrap it around her. Seeing her like this kills me. I wish more than anything I could redo the past few months, so none of this happened.
I reach for my helmet and place it gently on her head. She gives me a small smile as I buckle it, making sure it’s secure. I make a vow to myself then and there that from now on I’m going to protect her. I can’t bear the thought of anything else happening to her. I’m also going to try my best to make up for the way I’ve been treating her.
I can’t take back what Riley has done to her, but I can sure as hell try and rectify all the fucked up things I’ve done.
Before I hop onto my bike, I ask her again if she’s okay. She nods. “Are you sure you don’t want to go and see a doctor? I’ll feel better if someone checks you out.” She smiles at me again. It’s something I guess. The sadness I see in her eyes though, tells a whole different story.
“No. I’d rather go home if that’s okay?” she whispers.
“Okay.” I’m not happy about her not getting seen to, but I’m not going to push it tonight. She’s just been through a harrowing experience, so if home is what she wants, home is what she’s going to get.
I straddle my bike and reach for her hand and help her on behind me. “Put your feet on the foot rests,” I say, turning my head to look at her. She puts her hands on my waist and lifts up her legs. I’m not sure why, but disappointment is what I feel when she doesn’t wrap her arms around me and snuggle in close, like she did last time.
Why would she though? After what she’s just been through, and the way I’ve been with her, I guess I’m lucky she even trusts me enough to get her home safe.
Before I start the bike I look down at her legs. That’s when I notice both her knees are grazed and bleeding. It makes my blood boil with anger. I want to get off my bike and go give that fucker another serving. Of course, I don’t. Angel is my first priority right now, and she needs to get away from this place to somewhere she’ll feel safe.
••••
We arrive at her place a short time later. I had to drive pretty slowly because of the way she was holding onto me. I was worried she was going to fall off.
As soon as I pull up and shut off the bike, she gets off and removes the helmet before passing it to me. “Thanks for the ride, and for ummm…you know, everything else,” she says as she puts her head down. I can tell she’s embarrassed by what’s happened. She has no reason to be. What happened was totally out of her control.
“Hey,” I say as I get off the bike, putting my hand under her chin to gently raise her head. “You don’t have to thank me. I’m sorry it happened…that I didn’t get to you sooner. I’m sorry about a lot of things. What I did to you that day, when I left here. How I’ve treated you since.” I exhale as I see sadness wash over her beautiful face. “You didn’t deserve what happened tonight. You don’t deserve what I’ve done to you either, I hope you know that.” When her eyes well with tears, I pull her into my arms. “None of this is your fault.”
She lets me hold her for a few more minutes before pulling away. “I better get going,” she says. I don’t want to leave her. She shouldn’t be alone after everything that’s happened tonight.
“Can I come in for a while? Just to make sure you’re going to be alright.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Last time you were here…ummm, things didn’t turn out well,” she says as she lowers her head again. Her words are like a kick in the guts. God I hate myself for what I did to her. I guess I deserve it though.
Despite what she says, I’m adamant I’m not leaving her alone. I need to make sure she really is okay. Even though she’s doing a good job of it, I can’t help but feel she’s putting on a front for me.
“Please. I’m not a monster,” I plead. “Do you really think I’d try something on you after what you’ve just been through?”
She shrugs. “I guess not.”
“Just for a while,” I practically beg. “I’m worried about you, that’s all. Once I know you’re going to be okay, I’ll leave. I promise.” I cross my fingers over my heart for added effect. I see the corners of her lips turn up in the tiniest of smiles. Everything in me wants to reach out and touch her. To make all of this shit go away.