Their band is pretty good too. They get a lot of gigs locally, and occasionally interstate. My dad has a lot of connections in the music industry through his clients at work. He offered to put in a good word for them, but CJ wouldn’t let him. He wants to make it on his own. We’re all proud of him for that.
After parking the car at the airport, my dad walked me inside. He stayed until it was time for me to go through the security checkpoint and head to the departure lounge. It was so hard to leave him. I could tell he felt the same.
“Have I told you how much I hate that you’re so far away from me?” he whispered as he pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head.
“Yes daddy, about seven billion times.” That made him chuckle.
“That many, huh?”
“Ah huh,” I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my cheek on his chest. I love the familiar smell of my dad’s cologne. It’s always been comforting.
“You have no idea how much I miss you. How lost I feel without you here. Every time I have to say goodbye, I feel like I’m losing you all over again.” His words brought tears to my eyes.
“You’ll never lose me, daddy. Never. You’ll always be my dad, and I’ll always be your little girl.”
“Why’d you have to grow up so quick?” he said with a sigh as he pulled back and cupped my face in his hands. The sadness I saw in his eyes as he studied my face made my heart hurt. I hate that me being away from the family is making him feel like this.
He stood there with his shoulders slumped, hands in his pockets, and watched me walk away. I kept looking over my shoulder at him. The sad expression on his face brought a lump to my throat.
Before rounding the corner, I turned and blew him a kiss. The corners of his lips turned up in the briefest of smiles, before he reached up and caught it, tucking it in his pocket for later. It brought a smile to my face as memories flooded my mind. That was something we always did when I was younger. Tears filled my eyes. When he blew me a kiss in return, I did the same thing as he had, tucked it into my pocket for later. From where I was standing, it looked like he had tears in his eyes too.
“I love you, daddy,” I mouthed, while pointing to my eye, my heart and then him.
“I love you too, princess,” he called out. I swear I heard his voice crack when he said it.
••••
On the drive back to my place, Dana decides to stop off at the shops to get what we need for our girls’ night.
“You go and grab the wine,” she says. “I’ll run across the street and get the junk food.”
“Okay,” I reply, walking away. I hadn’t even noticed the motorbike parked two spaces down from Dana’s car.
After walking into the bottle shop, I grab three bottles of our favourite wine. You know, just to be on the safe side. I really need tonight with my best friend. As I round the corner of the aisle, I walk straight into a rock-hard chest.
“Sorr…,” I start to say until I look up into those beautiful dark blue eyes of his. All the air leaves my body and my heart starts to race. Chase’s eyes are locked on mine. It’s like time stands still as we gaze at each other. The scent of his cologne drifts around me. I hate that smell. Okay that’s a lie, I love it. I want to drown in it. I’ve missed it. I miss him, and his friendship, so much. This is the closest I’ve been to him since the day he walked out on me.
“Hi,” I whisper.
He exhales heavily, never once taking his eyes off me. “Hi,” he says. We stand in the aisle just staring at each other. Not saying a word. I try to convey with my eyes how much I miss him. How much he’s hurt me. How much he continues to hurt me.
He breathes out before putting his head down. When he looks back up at me he runs his fingers through his hair. He goes to say something, but decides against it.
Instead he turns away from me, making his way to the service counter. I stand rooted to the spot. He pays for his bottle of bourbon and walks out. Not once looking back. He walked out on me again, for the last time.
I feel like crying, but I don’t. I’ve shed enough tears over that arsehole. It’s time to forget about him. Time to move on.
••••
Chase
I’ve fucking done it again. I walked away from her when everything inside me wanted to do the total opposite. What I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and tell her how sorry I am for the way I’ve treated her. How much I’ve missed not having her around. But I couldn’t do it. I’m no good for her. She deserves so much more than I could ever give her. We can never be together. She needs to move on. And so do I.