Instead she nodded, knowing if she opened her mouth she would tell him that she was willing to share him. Willing to once again become the secret lover she had been in Michael’s life because she’d been too tall, too dark, her hair too short to be seen on his arm. All she had been good for was sex when he’d needed it and to be a punching bag when he needed to let some steam off.
Stephano nodded in return, then turned abruptly and walked back to his desk.
Natalie kept her head bent, willing the tears not to fall as she heard him shut down his computer and grab his coat.
“I didn’t get any sleep last night. I need to go home and rest.” His voice was husky and he sounded suddenly exhausted. Even knowing that he’d worn himself out in another woman’s bed, she couldn’t stop her heart going out to him as he swayed slightly, looking about to collapse.
“Are you okay?” She stood up, about to go to him, but he shook his head and visibly pulled himself together.
“I’ll be fine once I get some sleep.” He walked quickly to the door, but turned when he got there to say, “Don’t stay too late, cara.”
“I won’t,” she promised, once she’d swallowed the lump that had formed at the sound of the endearment, but he had already slipped through the door.
Poking a finger through the same blinds through which she’d earlier witnessed his arrival, she created a narrow gap and watched as he hailed an oncoming taxi. It was already occupied but in his tired state he’d probably not noticed that the yellow-for-hire sign had not been lit up. He was luckier with the second taxi which came by less than a minute later.
He hesitated before entering, turning to look back at the building twice before finally getting into the back of the vehicle. He’d never left her on her own in the building before. Though he was clearly worn out, he seemed as worried about leaving her alone as he’d been about collapsing from tiredness. There was little danger for her personal safety in the secure office, but her heart warmed at his concern as she stood gazing after the taxi long after it disappeared from view.
The tears she had been holding back all day ran silently down her face.
How could she live without the passion she’d had an exciting prelude to on Friday evening?
But how could she live with herself if she let him, or any man ever again, make her feel that she was only good enough to be a convenient booty call?
Five years had been a long time without being touched by a man; she couldn’t endure another five without being held.
Perhaps she wasn’t meant to have a love all of her own like other women.
She sighed as she finally turned away from the window and shut her computer down. Michael had been like a storm, raging out of control, his fists striking like lightning. She had survived him and come out stronger. Surely she was strong enough now to handle a polygamous relationship if it was all Stephano had to offer her. He was man enough for two women, she acknowledged with a shiver as she had a quick flashback of the way he’d filled her. She’d thought Michael sufficiently equipped. He’d been her first boyfriend so she’d had no basis for comparison, but now she wondered if along with his steroid abuse, he’d suffered from a feeling of inadequacy. He wasn’t a tall man at 5’6”, and she’d had no problem being three inches taller, but yet he’d seemed to feel the need to dominate her with brute strength.
It would be different with Stephano she knew. He would never leave her feeling like she was nothing, the way Michael had done in the last weeks of their relationship—forcing her down onto her knees to pleasure him, then cleaning himself off with a wash cloth and contemptuously discarding it onto her pristine bathroom floor before going home to the beautiful woman he was so proud of, the one who would never do anything as nasty as go down on him.
Sometimes the emptiness of Natalie’s life gnawed at her until she felt like screaming. Sharing Stephano with another woman wouldn’t be the perfect bliss she’d always longed for, but it would be better than what she had now…and a million times better than her nightmare relationship with Michael.
And The Rain
Stephano punched his pillow, trying to mould it into a more comfortable position to finally get the sleep he desperately needed. It was of no use. It was his thoughts that were keeping him awake, not an uncomfortable pillow. Though he was exhausted, he kept playing the day’s events over and over in his head, trying to think what could have transpired between Friday evening and today to make Natalie act the way she’d done.
Harry’s wedding had gone surprisingly smoothly. Stephano had ensured that the groom was at the church on time, though the bride had then been fashionably late by almost an hour. There had been several fine-looking women at the reception and ordinarily he would have been open for a night of adult fun with a woman who was looking for the same. Instead he had behaved himself, anticipating his return to London and Natalie.