But as her mother had said, it was her life and she had to live it to suit herself.
Stephano was everything she’d ever wished for in a man—their connection went deeper than skin color. The first day, she’d joined the agency she’d felt it when their eyes met. She had put it down to his good looks and charm, but she’d always been acutely aware of him.
The dynamics at the office would change if she and Stephano started dating. If she agreed with Stephano on an issue it would be assumed she did so because they were sleeping together; if she disagreed, their colleagues would wonder if they were having problems in their personal life. But she and Stephano had a healthy respect for each other professionally and that wouldn’t change. As a matter of a fact, with so much in common, their lives could blend together beautifully.
The hardest part would be telling Stephano about her past. She couldn’t brush it under the carpet and simply start afresh—there were hang-ups she still had as a result of her relationship with Michael.
Working for the agency had helped build her confidence. Paul was like a kindly grandfather and an expert life coach. He had analyzed a few of her presentations, taking them apart step by step, and had been as generous with praise as he was with criticism. The thing he loved the most about her he’d told her was her voice with its merest hint of a West Indian accent. He’d called it “seductive” and “persuasive”, saying that she could “sell oil to the Arabs”.
Paul had told her that she would benefit from a few sessions of therapy to build her confidence and had discretely arranged a meeting with one of the best on Harley Street. The therapist had later recommended a session with a colleague of hers, a reputable hypnotist and Natalie had made remarkable progress over the next weeks.
Paul’s interference should have felt intrusive, but she’d understood that all he wanted was her to be the best she could be. He wanted that for all his employees.
When Craig’s halitosis became increasingly worse, everyone felt too embarrassed to tell him and no one wanted to team up with him. After a monthly staff meeting Paul had invited him for a drink. They had all feared that Craig would be given the boot, instead he had returned to work the next day, bad breath and all. But over the following weeks there had been a noticeable freshening of his breath. Natalie suspected that Paul had arranged a consultation with a specialist on Harley Street as he had done for her. Now few of them remembered that Craig had had a problem, although when he’d tried to kiss her under the mistletoe at the last company Christmas party, Natalie had instinctively given him her cheek.
Morgan didn’t command the same attention as Stephano, but his good looks were arresting and Paul had encouraged him to use both the masculine and feminine sides of his personality to charm an audience when giving a presentation.
Natalie’s suits were made by the same bespoke tailors who specialized in the finest Italian suits and handmade shirts. Nothing boosted her confidence more than wearing clothing that was specially made for her. She didn’t wear trousers suits often. Though it went against all her feminist instincts, she’d recognized that many clients, both male and female, reacted differently to a woman in trousers. But there were times she needed to be one of the boys and help deliver a tough message. At these times she wore trousers suits and flat shoes and acted as tough as needed. Other times called for something softer and though she never overtly flaunted her sexuality, she used her feminine wiles when the occasion warranted.
Her epiphany had come from a surprising source, though. She had heard it mentioned that Beyoncé was shy and had believed it to be media hype, unconvinced that a shy woman would voluntarily perform in front of hundreds of thousands of screaming fans. But late one night Natalie had been watching a documentary of the singer which had been recorded early in her career and had seen the evidence of that shyness for her shyness. It had helped Natalie understand how she could feel confident giving a presentation to a room full of strangers and yet feel nervous having a drink with them afterwards. The weeks leading up to giving a presentation of her final project to her entire class at university had been nerve wracking. And yet on the day it had gone so smoothly she had amazed herself. She had never been shy giving a presentation to any client. It was the intimate, close eye-to-eye contact that embarrassed her. It was a bit like acting she’d realized—learning one’s lines by heart and delivering them flawlessly.
Watching that documentary on Beyoncé had made her realize that her shyness didn’t need to get in the way of being successful or stop her from doing anything she wanted to.