After the Storm(83)

            “What a piece of work,” Donovan muttered.

            “He did me a favor,” Eve said wryly. “I didn’t know it at the time, but now I’m grateful he refused to take me in and consider me a daughter.”

            Donovan tensed, knowing that what she still had to tell him was not going to be good. But he was already quite aware that nothing about Eve’s situation was good.

            “Go on,” he encouraged, not wanting to shut her down with his interruption.

            She sighed. “Anyway, I remember hearing them argue. My mother felt that she was too old to have another child. Travis’s pregnancy had been very difficult for her and there was already such a gap between my and Travis’s birth, and now she was looking at having an adult daughter and a preteenage son. She didn’t want to start all over again, and I can’t blame her for that. Walt told her she was being selfish and was only thinking of herself. She then reminded him that he already had a daughter. Me.”

            Eve’s voice became shaky, and she gave a visible shudder that told him all too well what she thought of being considered her stepfather’s daughter.

            “I was visiting. One of the rare times I was allowed to see my mother. They were arguing in their bedroom, which was on the main floor of the house while all the other bedrooms were upstairs. And when she mentioned me, that he had a daughter, he told her that I wasn’t his blood and that he wanted a daughter that was his. That there was no way he would consider another man’s leavings as his child.”

            Even though it was evident that Eve had no wish to be considered the man’s daughter, there was still pain in her voice at how coldly Walt had dismissed her. As though she weren’t good enough. How abandoned must Eve have felt? Not wanted by her biological father. Not allowed to see or be with her own mother. Taken in by an aunt and rejected by her stepfather. It made Donovan furious that she’d suffered so much pain. And that much more determined to ensure that she suffered no more.

            “I brought it up to my mother the next day when I got a few minutes with her alone. It was rare that Walt ever let me be around her without him present. It was almost as if he were afraid I’d try to turn her against him. I told her what I’d overheard. Not the part about him not considering me a daughter, but I asked her if she was going to have another child.”

            Eve’s lips turned downward and tears gathered in her eyes.

            “I’ll never forget how resigned she looked. And you have to understand. My mother loved me and Travis. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to have children. But the doctors had advised her not to get pregnant again after Trav. It was too difficult a pregnancy for her and I knew Walt knew this. It pissed me off that he could call her selfish when what he was asking her to do was a risk to her health.”

            “And what did she say?” Donovan asked gently.

            “She said that she didn’t have a choice, that it was what he wanted, and how could she deny him his wish for another child? I told her that it was selfish of him to ask her to have another. And she freaked out. Not that she got loud or argued with me. But I remember the utter panic that entered her expression. She got really quiet, like she was afraid that we would be overheard even though Walt had taken Travis to the grocery store. But she was like that. Always on guard, as if she expected him to barge into the room at any moment.”

            Donovan nodded but kept quiet. She was into it now, and the words were tumbling out, almost as if she were, for the first time, unloading a fierce burden. And it likely was the first time she’d spoken to others of this.

            “Then I asked her if she was happy. Really happy. And I asked her if she’d considered leaving Walt. That I would help her. I would quit school. Get a job. Do whatever I could to help her. And she really panicked then. I don’t think I’d ever seen her that scared. I mean, she was always reserved around Walt. Skittish even. She was what I would call totally submissive. What he said went. Always. But when I said all that, she told me to promise her that I would never mention it again. She was so emphatic. She made me promise never to say anything to Walt about it. Then she said that if he knew, he’d never let me see her again.