After the Storm(183)

            He closed his eyes, his forehead still pressed to hers. She felt his sigh, the soft expulsion of breath over her mouth. It was a sound laden with sadness and regret. Had she been wrong? Had she horribly misjudged him? Had she been too quick to convict him? Should she have confronted him?

            There were so many what ifs that it made her head spin.

            “It was part of the plan. I was working out the details,” Donovan said in an aching voice. “It was what I planned to tell Walt. To sell him on the fact that you didn’t matter to me. That my only concern was for the children. I told him that I was concerned that you needed psychiatric help and would benefit from being under a doctor’s care. I acted as though I didn’t know what an asshole he was, and I was playing the part of a concerned citizen by turning you over to him so you’d receive the help you needed. And I told him that once I was assured that you were no longer a threat to them that I would be willing to send Travis and Cammie back to him. I had hoped that he’d incriminate himself. That he would be enraged that I was holding his children hostage for all practical purposes. But he got to you first and then met with me and agreed to every single one of my stipulations, and I knew then that something was wrong. He was too smug. Too self-assured. And completely unbothered by the fact that I was keeping his children from him. And it turns out I was right because he already had you, and he left straight from our meeting and took you away from me and straight into hell.”

            He went silent, and she realized he was valiantly trying to regain his composure. The words had been torn from him, choked, shaky, so filled with emotion that she couldn’t possibly doubt his sincerity.

            “I’ll never forgive myself for that,” Donovan whispered. “For what you endured. For making you doubt me even for a moment. I should have told you I loved you. I should have told you I wanted forever with you instead of being vague and talking about being a family. It’s little wonder you were so willing to believe the worst because I didn’t give you reason to expect anything else from me. But Eve, you’re my life. My world. Yes, I love Travis and Cammie, and yes, I want us to be a family. But not without you. You are the heart and soul of this family—our family. Without you, none of us are whole. Not me, not Travis and not Cammie. I want those kids, Eve. Don’t ever doubt it. But I want you. Heart and soul. Body and mind. I want to have children with you. To provide brothers and sisters for Travis and Cammie. I want us to be a family.”

            “Oh Donovan,” she whispered, so overcome that his name was all she could say.

            His mouth found hers in the most tender of kisses. So gentle and reverent. And so very loving. How could she have doubted him? How could she not have known? Had she been so insecure that she’d been just waiting for the cards to fall and for the bottom to fall out? Had she been so unwilling to believe that such goodness and love existed that she’d just bided her time, believing all the while that it couldn’t possibly be real?

            The answer to all of those questions was yes.

            “I’m so sorry,” she choked out.

            He lifted his head to frame her face in his palms. His eyes were fierce, blazing with intensity.

            “You will never apologize to me, Eve. Never. I won’t have it. I should be on my knees begging you for forgiveness, and if you’ll give me the chance, I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that no one will ever love you more than I do. No one will ever cherish you more than I. And I will never give you cause to regret placing your trust in me.”

            She couldn’t even form a coherent response. There was so much she wanted to say but knew she didn’t have a prayer of getting it all out. Tears coursed down her cheeks, colliding with his hands.

            “Please tell me those are tears of joy or even relief,” Donovan begged. “Anything but sadness, Eve. You’ve had far too much sadness in your life and I only want you to be happy from now on. And I want to be the person who makes you happy. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you smile again.”