“But…” She stared in shock at the man sitting at the foot of the bed, looking sexy as all get-out with only his jeans on. Wow. Maybe she was dreaming.
She stared at him, trying to reconcile the fact that he was here, that he was smiling and teasing her. Had she dreamed waking up in his bed alone? Dozens of conflicting emotions swirled inside her.
Last night had hurt. A lot. But he hadn’t left because he was right here in front of her.
Of course he hadn’t left. She’d been in his bed, in his house.
“Why?”
He looked confused. “Why what?”
“Why are you here?”
His brow arched. “Is that a trick question? I live here.” His expression darkened. “Don’t you want me here?”
How did she answer that? Did you tell a man that you’d woken up and found the bed empty and had assumed the worst? That you’d cried yourself to sleep and erected a hundred new walls to replace the ones he’d torn down because she’d realized she was in love with him?
“I woke up and you weren’t here.” Did she sound whiny?
She’d thought he would take a hint and tell her why he’d left his bed, but he just shrugged, as if his absence was no big deal. Only he didn’t meet her eyes and he wasn’t smiling.
“Sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do. Now, out of bed. Time’s awasting.”
He might convince her to get out of bed except there was an itsy bitsy tiny problem. “I’m naked.”
“Good point.” His smile was lethal and he suddenly seemed intent on lightening the mood between them. “Forget getting out of bed. I’ll get back in with you. Much better idea.” With that he dove towards her, tugging on the covers she had tucked beneath her chin.
“No.” She wiggled and squirmed, trying to prevent him from uncovering her body. “No, I don’t want you to see me like this.”
He stilled. “Like this? I saw everything there was to see about your body last night. Up close and personal from all angles. Have your forgotten?”
“No, but…” How did she explain that when she’d woken and he hadn’t been there she’d felt such devastation and had grieved and erected those walls to where she just didn’t trust letting them back down. She didn’t want to let them back down. Right or wrong since he obviously hadn’t really left, she still felt defensive.
Or perhaps it was her other realization during the night that had her so defensive. She didn’t want to be in love with him.
“Riley, I don’t want to do this today.”
“This?”
“You know.”
He blinked and tugged at the covers again.
Holding them tight, she shook her head. “No.”
He let go of the comforter. “What are you saying?”
Her grip on the comforter tightened. “Last night shouldn’t have happened.”
“Because?”
What could she say? That she was so damaged by her past that she couldn’t bear any more pain? That she’d fallen in love with him and although she’d thought she was strong enough to be with him and survive when he got bored with her crazy hang-ups, last night had shown her otherwise?
“Fine,” he agreed between gritted teeth. “Last night was a mistake.”
She couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or angry.
“At least get out of bed and come and see what Santa left you.”
Her heart dropped somewhere to the pit of her stomach. “Please, don’t.”
Because she just couldn’t take such comments this morning. She just couldn’t pretend she was the same as him, that she could spend the night in his bed and go and be all jolly with his family. She couldn’t pretend that she didn’t love him and that she was terrified of that realization.
“Don’t?” He raked his fingers through his hair then scooted up beside her, gently forced her to look at him. “Talk to me, Trinity. I thought you’d wake up smiling this morning, not looking at me as if I’m the Grinch who stole Christmas.”
“No, that would be me. I’m the one who dislikes Christmas, remember?”
“That’s just because you’re so stubborn and refuse to give Christmas a chance. Quit being otherwise, get out of bed, and let’s enjoy our Christmas morning together before it’s time to leave for my mom’s. We’ll discuss last night some other time, but for now I promised you the best Christmas ever. Accomplishing that does require some effort on your part.”
A sick feeling settled in her stomach. “What have you done?”
Because She didn’t want him going and setting a precedent that every other year would have to live up to and never would. She didn’t want him being nice to her because he felt sorry for her that her mother just hadn’t been into Christmas. That Chase had messed with her head and heart. She didn’t want to be another of Riley’s charity cases.