A big shiny star that looked absolutely magical and just like the one she’d seen at her elementary school when she’d been five.
That Christmas she remembered well.
That Christmas she’d gotten caught up in the excitement of her classmates, in the whole spirit of Christmas. Prior to then she hadn’t even been sure if she’d known what Christmas or Santa had even been about. She’d written a rudimentary letter to Santa and even crawled up in his lap when he’d come to her classroom. Packed back in her things she had a Polaroid photo of that moment that she’d kept hidden away over the years for some crazy reason. Probably a reminder of what lay ahead when one got one’s hopes up and believed in things that weren’t real.
With excitement she’d told Santa of what she’d wanted more than anything and he’d told her to be a good girl and come Christmas morning she’d find her surprise under the tree.
She’d been as good as gold. Better than any five-year-old had ever been, surely. She’d gone to bed on Christmas Eve full of hope and had barely been able to sleep because she’d been sure she’d wake up to a pile of goodies but mainly to the pair of new sneakers she’d desperately wanted. Her others had been hand-me-downs and had grown too small. A new pair of stylish pink hightops for school was going to be a breeze with how good she’d been.
Only there had been no surprise. Or even a tree. Her mother had claimed the entire holiday was nothing more than a scam and she wasn’t spending hard-earned money on something as ridiculous as putting a tree inside their tiny apartment.
When her mother had found her crying, she’d complained that Christmas was a rich man’s holiday invented to make poor parents like her look bad and that Trinity should feel ashamed for making her feel bad. Then she’d gone off and drunk until she’d passed out.
The same as she did the other three hundred and sixty-four days of the year. Only without Trinity having set herself up with false hopes that the day might bring something different.
She had stopped believing. Right then and there at five years old she’d quit believing in Christmas and Santa. Sure, she’d still gone through the motions at school and, after she’d graduated from college, at work. But she’d never believed the holiday to be anything more than commercialized hype meant to build false hopes and to disappoint. How absolutely fitting had it been that Chase had broken her heart at a Christmas party?
“Stars are magic,” Riley said from beside her, pulling her back from the past to the present, obviously clueless about where her thoughts had gone. How could he know? Although she’d revealed more to him than to any other person ever, she’d rather die than have anyone know the true depth of her shame.
“Just like the star that led the wise men and the ones that guide sailors through the sea,” he continued, his voice low, mesmerizing. “They lead us where we need to go if only we’ll follow. Anywhere in particular you’d like to go, princess?”
Trying to keep her cynicism to a minimum and any dream of going somewhere magical well tamped down, Trinity looked at him. “It’s just a cheap piece of glass and tiny light bulbs.”
“Use your imagination.”
“I don’t have one.”
“Sure you do.” He laced their fingers. “Close your eyes and picture that star, Trinity. Picture it leading you where you want to go.”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” So why were her eyelids so darned heavy all of a sudden?
“Do it,” he ordered in his Dr. Williams voice.
“You’re crazy.”
“About you.”
That was twice he’d implied he had feelings for her. Trinity glared. “You’re not going to run off when I close my eyes, are you?”
“You couldn’t run me off. I’m right where I want to be.”
“At the mall, shopping?” She gave him a doubtful once-over. “You sure you’re straight?”
“With you,” he clarified, shaking his head at her. “And if you’d like me to give a demonstration of my straightness, I’ll gladly do so.”
She gulped back the image of Riley proving to her that he preferred the opposite sex. Even when she was tired and irritated at him, the man could send her libido through the roof. Wow.
“Fine.” She closed her eyes and did as he said. Or tried to. The image of his straightness refused to budge from her mind.
“Do you see where you want to go?”
“Oh, yeah, I see where I want to go and you offered to take me there, but for some reason I’m still quite hungry and there’s no food in sight.”