After We Fall(37)
But with Jack, it had struck me like lightning.
The reality of what had just happened started to sink in. I’d just been fucked against a tree. By a farmer. Without a condom.
Oh, God.
My sandals were missing. He’d seriously fucked me right out of my Jack Rogers. And tree bark had probably torn up the back of my Lilly Pulitzer shift.
But damn, that was good. Rough. Messy. Frantic.
Totally un-Margot, yet I’d loved every second.
I sat up, laying my hands on his chest and peering down at him. He looked so different. It was dark, but I could see the way his facial muscles had relaxed—no furrow in his brow, no tension in his jaw. His full mouth looked even more sensual, one side of it hooking up in a wry grin.
“That the fight you were looking for?” he asked.
I smiled ruefully. “Not exactly.”
“You were pretty mad.”
“I’m still mad.”
He laughed again, and my toes tingled. I loved the sound of it—deep and warm and gratifying.
“But embarrassed too,” I admitted.
“Why are you embarrassed? I started it.” Some of the tension returned to his face. “Are you OK?”
“I’m fine.”
“We didn’t use anything…”
I pressed my lips into a line. “No, we didn’t. But we’re OK.” I was on the pill, although I’d never had sex without a condom before.
Don’t think about that.
Or with a client.
Don’t think about that either.
“OK.” He took a breath, his chest moving under my palms. His hands were still on my hips. “God, Margot, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
“Don’t be sorry.” I started to get up, feeling like things were about to get awkward. “Really. It just…happened.”
He helped me to my feet, located my shoes, and while I tugged my panties back into place (they were still looped around one ankle), he did up his jeans. “I guess I just…” He ran a hand through his thick dark hair. “Lost control. It’s been so long.”
“How long?” I asked before I could stop myself. “I’m sorry—you don’t have to tell me that.”
“Since Steph.”
My jaw dropped. “That long? Three years? Wow, I thought I had you beat. But it’s only been just over a year for me.” Not that sex had ever been anything like what we’d just done. I hadn’t even missed it, to be honest.
“That’s a long time, too.”
I lifted my shoulders. “Guess that explains it. We just needed to get something out of our systems.”
He nodded, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Yeah.”
We stood there for a moment as the crickets chirped around us. My heart was beating a little too fast for comfort as I looked at him in the dark, knowing I was the first woman he’d been with since his wife. It was messing with me… I wish I’d known. I might have tried to make it nicer or something, maybe not screamed so loud. Or bit him.
I mean…the first woman since his wife.
That meant something to me.
But I had no idea what to do with it.
“So,” I said briskly, as if we were wrapping up a business meeting, “I think the best thing would be to pretend this never happened.”
He nodded again. “I think so too.”
“We’ll just agree it was a moment of insanity, fueled by pent-up frustration,” I suggested, needing to file this in my brain somewhere, and not in my heart.
“Right.”
I put on a smile, but I didn’t feel happy at all. “And now that the moment of insanity has passed, I’d better get going.”
“Please let me drive you.” His voice was quiet and serious. “I won’t sleep tonight if I don’t, not that I sleep very well anyway.”
“You don’t sleep well?”
“No.”
It was something small but personal, and I was grateful for the admission. Still, I hesitated, glancing toward Pete and Georgia’s house. “Won’t someone see us and wonder what we’re doing?”
“No. It’s late. Pete goes to bed early, and Georgia is working tonight.”
I nodded. “OK, then.”
“I just have to get the keys. Come with me?”
“Sure.” We walked toward the cabin in silence, Jack’s hands still in his pockets and my arms crossed over my chest. I thought about asking to use his bathroom to clean up a little, but something about it didn’t feel right. Instead I waited for him on the porch, and then we retraced our steps back through the trees toward Pete and Georgia’s.