He'd never seen her surrender. Not like this. Vacant, drained. Defeated.
"It's going to be okay," he murmured into her hair as he kissed her forehead, avoiding the staples holding together one of her many lacerations.
No response.
He was thankful the hospital staff hadn't let Megan into the pre-op area. His stomach knotted at the thought of her seeing her mother like this. Hell, he wasn't sure he could bear to see Lucy like this.
"Lucy, really. I promise. It will be okay." He squeezed her hand again, his wedding band rubbing against the empty spot where hers should be. Would they ever get it back? Or would it be forever entombed in the bowels of some evidence locker? "You know me. I never make a promise I can't keep."
He squeezed harder. So hard it had to be painful. She didn't answer, didn't meet his gaze.
The nurse came. "It's time. You can wait in the family area outside the OR."
"No. I'll go with you as far as I can." Nick couldn't bear letting go of Lucy, not one instant before he had to. Together they rolled her stretcher down the hall until they came to a set of double doors leading into the operating suite.
"I'm sorry," the nurse said. "This is as far as you can go. You need to say good-bye now."
Nick reached across Lucy's body to embrace her, his tears wetting her cheeks as he kissed her. Her lips were cold, her face slack.
"I'll be right here," he promised. "Both Megan and I will be here when you wake up."
She blinked at Megan's name. Finally nodded. Squeezed his hand. "Remember what you promised," she whispered, her voice low, so low he could barely make out her words. "Don't forget."
He kissed her again, hope rekindled by the tiny spark that had returned to her. "I won't. It will all be okay. I know it will. You're strong, Lucy. The strongest person I know. You'll make it through this-we'll make it through this. I promise."
Her eyes slid closed as if she were too weary to keep them open. But she nodded again. "I believe you. I love you, Nick. And Megan. More than anything."
"I know. We know." He gave her hand one final squeeze as the nurse opened the door and pushed her through to the other side, to the sterile area where ordinary men like Nick were forbidden.
Suddenly it occurred to him that their entire marriage had been like this. Lucy crossing each day into a strange world filled with violence and evil and chaos. A world ordinary people lived their ordinary lives hoping they never had to acknowledge even existed-along with their need for people like Lucy. Men and women strong enough to enter that world and save them.
Now it was Nick's turn to save Lucy-and Megan as well. His entire family was at risk, contaminated by the evil that had escaped from Lucy's world into theirs.
Part of him was angry, wanting to blame Lucy for tonight's bloodshed. If she wasn't the fierce, passionate warrior she was, this would have never happened.
He held onto that pain, using it to fuel the fire he'd need to get through this. Because he'd promised Lucy they would get through this. Because everything that happened to their family was as much his fault as hers.
When he'd first met her, he knew who she was, what she was, and he'd fallen hopelessly in love with her and everything she stood for. Part of him felt a coward that he could never fight on the front lines like she did-part of him felt relieved that because of people like her, he didn't have to.
Nick gripped the railing that ran along the wall, head bowed, fighting to regain some sure footing amid the emotional turmoil engulfing him. Mostly, being with Lucy made him strive to be a better man, to find the courage to change the lives around him just as she did.
When he looked up, Lucy was gone and the doors had closed. He stared at them for a long moment, feeling lost and alone. Then he drew in a deep breath, chasing away ghosts of fear to focus on the one thing he was certain of: Lucy would survive.
With that thought as his anchor, he went in search of the family area, his mind already spinning with ideas, ways to help both his daughter and wife-and himself. Names of counselors he trusted, victim advocates, child psych specialists, patients he'd worked with, soldiers who would understand what Lucy was going through better than he could …
He was not about to let the darkness claim his family. Never. He'd promised Lucy.
And Nick was a man of his word.