She nods, but worry wrinkles her forehead.
I offer her a smile to reassure her that I’m not about to freak out. I’m not. I just need a moment alone.
I practically bolt up the stairs and out the doors, needing the fresh air to sooth my nerves. I find a nearby courtyard and sit on a concrete bench, focusing on the daffodils blooming around the patio edge.
Tears burn my eyes, stoking the anger that lies smoldering in my chest. I needed this. I needed to see him. For some stupid reason, I can’t move on until I know he’s okay.
“Scarlett?”
I shake my head as I wipe away a tear from my cheek. I’m hallucinating now. I’m sure I hear his voice in the distance.
“Scarlett.”
His voice is closer now, and I whip my head around to see Tucker standing ten feet away.
“What…” I shake my head, trying to make sense of what I’m seeing. “What are you doing here?”
“I had to see you.”
I’m lightheaded from shock and I blink to make sure I’m not imagining him. “But you’re supposed to be in Kansas City. You’re supposed to be playing in the game.”
He grins, his cocky Tucker Price grin, but there’s fear in his eyes. “I know. Since when did I follow the rules?”
“What are you doing here?”
“Seeing you.”
I twist my hands in my lap. I can’t let myself dare to hope that he’s here for the reason I hope for.
He sits down on the bench, but leaves several feet between us. “I said some ugly things to you, Scarlett. I can’t live with myself, knowing that I hurt you like that. I need you to know I’m sorry.”
Tucker needs the same thing I do. Closure.
His voice breaks. “I didn’t mean the things I said.”
I look up into his face, searching for some sign of his intentions, but his face is carefully guarded. “I know. You were trying to push me away.”
“You have no idea how sorry I am. How many nights I’ve laid awake wishing I could take it back.”
I smile, frustrated that tears fill my eyes again. “I think I do.”
He sighs and his mouth twists. “I’m here to tell you I’m sorry for what I said, and I am, but there’s more. So much more.” He takes my hand. “Do you know what I’m most sorry for?”
My chest tingles when he touches me. I’ve spent more time away from him than we ever spent together and I still have the same reaction to him. I shake my head. “No, what?”
“I’m sorry I left you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I not only left you but hurt you in the process.” He pauses. “You were right. About everything. I thought you were too good to be true. I wanted you more than I’ve ever wanted anything, even playing professional soccer, but I didn’t think I deserved you. I tried to hurt you when I left so there’d be no chance of you taking me back.”
“Tucker.”
He closes his eyes and scrunches them shut, then exhales as he opens them to stare into my face. “I know I don’t deserve you now, and I have no right to hope you’ll let me back in your life, but I want you to know leaving you will always be my biggest regret, and we both know I’ve made a shit-ton of mistakes.”
I swallow a sob building in my chest. I can’t believe he’s here. I can’t believe he’s telling me this.
“I’ve quit the team, and I’m coming back to Southern. I’ll take some classes this summer to make up for missing this semester, but I’m changing my major to secondary education, so I’ll need to go at least another year to take the classes I need.”
“You’re changing your major?”
“You were right. You’re right about everything. I want to teach high school history and coach soccer. Maybe work with some foster teens and help them make better choices than Marcel and I made. I’ve already talked to the counseling department here, and they’ll let me back in.”
“What about your soccer scholarship?”
“I lost it, but I’m glad, even if it means I’m going to be stuck with a ton of student loans. I’m thinking about joining a rec league so I’m playing just to have fun and there’s no pressure. Maybe I’ll love it again.”
He’s so good at soccer, I want him to love it again. “I suspect the teams will be fighting over you.”
“Maybe, but I need to get my grades back up first.” He gives me a sheepish grin. “I dropped algebra so I need to take another math class. I’ll have to take a statistics class, and I hoped maybe you’d tutor me.”
I’m trying to get the words out to tell him that I’ve missed him, and I want him back, but they’re stuck in my throat, tangled in my building tears.