After Math(19)

Daniel leans back and views me through narrowed eyes. “Don’t tell me you have a thing for him. I thought you were different than every other girl at this school.”

The blood in my veins catches fire, and I have trouble catching my breath. “I’m here with you, aren’t I?”

He shakes his head. “That doesn’t prove anything. It’s not like he’s going to ask you out. You’re not his type.”

His insult is clear. I’m not good enough to garner the attention of Tucker Price. I wonder what he’d say if he knew that Tucker had come over to my apartment the night I met Daniel and that Tucker spent the night in my bed. But the truth is he’s right. Tucker will screw every other girl on campus, but he’s not interested in me.

Daniel quickly realizes what he’s said and panic spreads across his face. “That didn’t come out right.”

I clench my teeth to stop my chin from quivering. His statement has hit too close to home.

He leans closer and takes my hand in his. “Scarlett, I swear that came out wrong. I just meant that he usually goes out with girls who are loud, obnoxious, and flashy.”

I agree with his assessment, but I’m still hurt and consider leaving.

“Scarlett, I’m sorry. Price and I have history, and I took it out on you. It wasn’t fair.”

The lights dim and the previews start before I can answer. I’m angry with myself when tears sting my eyes. The fact remains that Daniel’s telling the truth. I’m not Tucker’s type, and Tucker has made it painfully clear he isn’t interested in me. Nevertheless, while I like Tucker, it’s not for the reasons every other girl on campus does.

I like him for the person he lets me see and doesn’t share with anyone else.

That thought is what keeps my butt glued to my seat, and my hand in Daniel’s firm grip. That thought is more dangerous than anything Daniel might inadvertently say to me, because that thought encourages me to hope for things out of my reach.

I try to pay attention to the movie, but I can’t focus when I’m concentrating on not hyperventilating. I start reciting prime numbers up to seven hundred and forty-three in my head, then move on to square roots with rational numbers. Old soothing habits I picked up in middle school. When one of Momma’s boyfriends lived with us for two years of hell filled with drinking, smoking, loud arguments, and police visits every time he resorted to taking his frustration out on Momma with his fists.

When the movie’s over, I’m exhausted in every way—physically, emotionally and mentally. Daniel wants to stop and get something to eat, but I can’t do it. I can’t fulfill this social role a minute longer than I have to.

Daniel pulls into the parking lot of my apartment complex. I open the door before he has the engine turned off.

“Scarlett,” he calls out, worry in his voice. “Hold up.” He jumps out, running around the front of the truck. He intercepts me, grabbing my arm. “Wait.”

I try to look into his face, but I can’t make myself do it. I’m embarrassed both by my behavior and what he thinks of me.

“Scarlett, I think we got off to a rough start here, and it’s entirely my fault. I’m sorry.” He pauses, and I lift my chin to look at him. “Just because Price and I have had our differences doesn’t give me the right to treat you the way I did. You’re stuck tutoring him, and I should be understanding of that. I get it.”

I want to tell him it’s okay, but I can’t make myself do that either.

“Will you give me another chance? Please?”

I want to tell him no, but when I look at the evening objectively I can’t say he did anything terribly wrong. Everything he said was true, even if it came out wrong. No one is perfect. Lord knows I’m far from it. “Okay.”

He wraps a hand around the small of my back and pulls me gently to his chest while his other hand cups my cheek and lifts my face. His lips brush mine, and when I don’t pull back, he takes it as encouragement. His tongue runs along my bottom lip before seeking an opening to my mouth. I let him kiss me, and while I kiss him back, hoping that this time will be different, that this time I’ll feel something.

His hand on my back slides to the front and finds the opening to my coat, then settles on my hip.

I wait for the feelings I’m supposed to feel and although it’s pleasant, it’s far from earth-shattering.

His hand slides upward, and I involuntarily stiffen. Daniel stops, lifting his head. “Can I see you on Thursday night?”

I shake my head. “I have a big test in set and logic on Friday. I need to study.”