Then once we got inside the building, a huge ballroom, I was shuffled with a drink in hand over to every single power play and actor in Hollywood that you could think of.
Okay, that's kind of a lie. I mean, it was everyone that was part of the CW network. But even so, I saw a lot of the actors I crushed and drooled over (and by that, I mean masturbate to when I can't sleep at night), which was beyond cool.
What was also cool was the way that everyone flocked to Emmett. I know he feels like the world might not respect him in the way he wants, but even big-name actors were fawning over him, talking about his days on Degrassi with nostalgia, then congratulating him on his comeback. I still think the term comeback should be used rather loosely but the fact is, his peers look up to him, not necessarily as someone who is the master of their craft, but as someone who has consistently worked and never given up.
Later, when I'm done acting like a fangirl and have had one too many glasses of champagne, Emmett pulls me aside.
"I'm over all this," he whispers, holding my arm. "Are you over all this?"
I nod. "I'm ready to leave when you are."
"But you had fun right?"
"Oh, hell yeah I did. This was," I gesture to the ballroom where I think I might be looking at Archie from Riverdale, "a dream come true. I don't even think it's sunken in yet."
"I liked the way you handled yourself," he says, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "Like you've been doing it your whole life. Perhaps this acting thing really is in your blood."
"Hey, I told you I was serious about it. Serious enough to date you."
He chuckles and the sound makes me week at the knees. As does the amused grin he has on while he looks at me. "We don't fly out until late tomorrow night. How about we hit the beach in the morning, then in the afternoon see if we can do some improv."
"What do you mean, do some improv?"
"I have connections, sunshine. Ever heard of the Uptight Citizens Comedy Brigade?"
"Uh, yes." Like, totally one of the best incubators for comedians there is.
"Maybe we can get you on stage for a bit. I'll do it with you."
///
"You're joking," I tell him.
He shakes his head. "I'm not. I think it would be good for you."
I can hardly believe it. "Remind me in the morning … if you still mean it."
"You know I do," he says and pulls me away. "Come on, let's go back to the hotel."
But when we leave the venue and get back into the Suburban, Emmett wants to stop at a late-night taco place he loves.
While the Suburban waits around the corner, we get in line with the rest of the drunken patrons. The menu is pretty simple and I settle on a deep-fried chicken taco with pickled vegetables.
"So, I guess you know LA pretty well," I tell him, inching forward a step as the line moves.
"Did a lot of auditions here, even during Degrassi days."
At that, the person in line turns around to look at us and see who's doing the talking. Once they spot Emmett though, who just smiles at them, they frown, like they're disappointed, and turn back around. They were probably expecting Drake.
"Anyway," Emmett goes on. "I lived here for a few years before I moved to London. Did a lot of bit parts, some small roles, pilots, indie films."
"Would you move here if you had to?"
"Of course. I love LA. Love the sunshine. Love the vibe."
"But you still prefer London?"
He nods. "I know they're polar opposites but I think deep down, theatre speaks to me so much more than film or TV acting. It's … real. You're in the moment. It's scripted but it doesn't feel scripted, know what I mean? You're living it, like it's a reality. There is no performance, only passion."
No performance. Only passion. His words sink into me like stones.
Is that what we are? Are we living this, us, like it's a reality? Are we starting to throw the script away and just improvise on the fly?
It's so fucking hard to tell.
"So, when was the last time you went on an audition?" he asks me.
I know he expects me to say like ten years ago or something but that's not the truth at all.
"Um, last year?"
"What?" He's taken aback. "Seriously?"
I nod sheepishly. "Yeah. I go every now and then. Take a sick day, don't tell Will," I add. "I do it just to see if I still like it, to see where it could go. I still keep my headshots up to date too." I pause. "Obviously it never goes anywhere, but it makes me feel better. Like I'm feeding my soul, just a little bit. Honestly, I would take a Tampax commercial if they'd have me."