Afraid to Fly (Anchor Point #2)(53)

"God, I'm sorry. I just . . . I freaked out." I released a long breath. "To tell you the truth, when I came over yesterday, it wasn't to call things off. It was . . . it was quite the opposite, actually."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I wanted to tell you . . . I wanted to say that I . . ." I gently freed my hand, leaned forward, and rubbed my neck with both hands. "And then when you said you'd talked to your ex-wife, and that you might tell your kids, I panicked. It was like it was suddenly bigger than us, you know? There's family involved. There's kids involved. And my kid was already involved, and . . ." I looked in his eyes. "It just seemed too real all of a sudden, and all I could think of was how much I lost the last time I felt like this for someone."

Clint's Adam's apple jumped. "Felt like . . . how?"

"Do I have to spell it out?"

He held my gaze without flinching. "Couldn't hurt."

All the air rushed out of my lungs, and I pulled just enough back in to whisper, "I love you."




       
         
       
        
And there it was. Out in the open. No taking it back. Point of no return.

He laced our fingers together again. "I love you too. That's why I'm here. This isn't something I can give up on that easily."

"It isn't something I should have given up on." My shoulders sagged, provoking a fresh twinge in the middle of my back. "I'm sorry. I've been a fucking idiot."

"No, you haven't." He lowered our hands. "We've both been through hell. Different kinds, but it's still enough to make you wonder what the world's going to throw at you next." Laying his other hand over the top of ours, he added, "But we can do this."

"God, I hope so."

"We can," he said. "In fact, we've probably got a better shot because we understand each other. I never thought I'd find someone who I could sleep next to because they understood what might happen during the night. That gives us a pretty big edge, don't you think?"

"That's true."

"And there's also . . ." He chewed his lip.

My heart sped up. "What?"

He took a breath. "There's no shame in a little outside guidance."

"Outside-like a counselor?"

Clint nodded. "Something to keep us from going off the rails, you know?"

"That . . . that might not be a bad idea."

"I can go down to Fleet and Family after holiday stand-down. See what they have available."

I glanced down at our hands, then turned to him again. "You'd really do that?"

"Of course. Remember, I'm the one who would have sold his soul to be able to talk to a counselor over the last three years. I still can't talk to anyone about that, but there's nothing classified about us. So yeah. Absolutely."

I exhaled. "And, uh, for what it's worth-you can talk to me about what happened."

His fingers twitched ever so slightly, and he smiled. "Thank you." Sliding closer to me, he let go of my hand and reached for my face. "I love you, Travis. You and all your dings and dents."

This time I managed to laugh, and drew him in. "I love you too." Brushing my lips across his, I added, "Dings, dents, and all."

He held me tighter, and when we came up for air again, he touched his forehead to mine. "I don't know any more than you do if this will work. But I damn sure know I want to try."

The lump in my throat threatened to choke off my voice, but I whispered, "I do too."

He kissed me. Then again, and we pulled each other closer. 

I let you go?

I can't believe you came back.

I really let you go?

Disbelieving he was here-and that he'd ever been gone-I met his gaze. Wow. He was here.

He touched my face. "You know, if we're going to start over and make this work, a good place to start might be in your bed."

I laughed, and God, it felt good to be laughing with him again. "I think you might be on to something."

"Only one way to find out." He rose and extended his hand. "Shall we?"

I took his hand. "Let's go."





We couldn't get our clothes off fast enough. Why clothing had to have so many fasteners and bullshit, I had no idea. Pressed up against Travis's bedroom door, my shirt off and belt partially unbuckled, I was two seconds away from saying to hell with it and tearing everything apart at the seams.

Finally naked, we sank onto his bed on our sides. Travis hooked his leg around mine, pulling my hips closer to his, and he kissed me. Dear God, did he kiss me. Like he often did, he kept a hand on the back of my neck as if he thought I might suddenly pull away.

Not a chance, Travis.

As we made out and held each other and touched each other all over, I couldn't get over how relieved I was to be back in his arms.

"I know it hasn't really been that long," he murmured, "but it feels like you've been gone for months."

"Feels the same to me." I held him tighter, curving my hands over his ass and marveling that we'd made it back to this. "Just glad you're back."

"Me too." He leaned in to kiss my neck. "Don't know what I was thinking." He brushed his lips along the side of my throat. "I don't want to be without you."

I pulled him closer. "You don't have to. I don't want to be anywhere but here."

"Thank God for that," he growled, and sank his teeth into my shoulder.

I moaned, gripping his ass tighter and arching against him. "Fuck . . ."

He lifted his head and kissed me again. I couldn't get enough of him. Maybe because I'd had a solid twenty-four hours to believe this would never happen again, and now I needed as much as I could get to make sure it was real.

Panting hard, Travis broke away. Sort of.

"I want to suck you off so bad," he whispered. "But I just . . . can't stop . . . kissing you."

I cradled the back of his head. "Then don't."

He didn't. He draped his arm over me, pushed my lips apart with his tongue, and kissed me like he had in the car that very first night. Boldly, but not obnoxiously so, like he knew what he wanted and exactly how to get it.

Anything you want tonight. Anything.

He started to nudge me to roll over, but jumped, and the sudden intake of breath sounded more like a wince than a gasp.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. Just . . ." His cheeks colored.

"Maybe you'd be more comfortable on your back."

"Hmm. Maybe."

"Worth a try, right?" I rolled him over and climbed on top. Before I'd even situated myself, he had my cock in his hand, and . . . Yes, please, just like that.

"I think you're right," he breathed. "Being on my back works."

"Uh-huh."

"Frees up my hands." He slid his other hand between us, and I lifted my hips to give him some more room. He nudged me a little, encouraging me to move up toward the headboard.

When I did . . . wow. One hand stroked my cock, and the other teased my balls. Squeezing my eyes shut, I rocked my hips.

"Like that?" he asked.



       
         
       
        

"Oh yeah. A lot."

"Good."

Moaning, I buried my face against his neck and thrust into his hand. Each time I rocked back, his other hand gently stroked my balls. Holy hell. I didn't stand a chance-I was halfway to orgasm simply because I was against his naked body. With his hands on me like this-

"Oh, God!" I threw my head back and shuddered, and the friction of his strokes gave way to slick warmth, and he didn't stop pumping my dick until I begged him to.

"I love the way you sound when you come," he said.

"Feel free to hear it whenever you want." I lifted myself up and found his lips again. "And speaking of, I seem to recall you sound pretty hot when you come too."

"Yeah?" He grinned. "Just in case you're not remembering clearly, you're welcome to double-check."

"Hmm, such a giver." I kissed the tip of his nose. "And I have every intention of doing that."

He fidgeted under me. "Please do."

One more kiss, and then we paused to clean ourselves off. After he'd tossed the tissues away, I laid him on his back again.

"Now. Where was I? Oh, I remember . . ." I started down his neck. "I was going to turn you inside out."

He released a ragged breath. "You're already halfway there, believe me."

"Good to know." I planted a line of light kisses down his chest and his stomach. He squirmed, and his muscles quivered beneath my lips as I continued lower.

"Fuck," he breathed. "You're . . ." He trailed off into a shudder.

I looked up at him. "I haven't even touched your dick yet."

"I know. But you-"

I ran the tip of my tongue from his balls to the head of his cock.

"Fuck!" He stared down at me, lips apart and eyes wide. "Oh Jesus . . ."

"Already halfway there, huh?" I winked. "Better get you the rest of the way."

He swore softly and closed his eyes, and I took his cock between my lips . . . but I wasn't about to get him there quite yet. Outside of our office quickies, I was never in a hurry when I was with Travis. Orgasms would happen when they happened-in the meantime, I wanted him to feel so good he was losing his mind. Whenever I went down on him, I lived for the whimpers and profanity, the shivers and the hitches of his breath, and he didn't disappoint. As I teased his cock and balls all over with my lips, tongue, and fingers, he trembled like he was about to come unglued. He clawed at the sheets. His hips squirmed. Half the sounds he made were curses, and the rest were just helpless gasps.