Unable to bear the distance between them any longer, he crossed the room and swept her into his arms. “Only you.”
Fresh from her shower, hair fell in wet tendrils over her shoulders, dampening her thin cotton shirt. As he pulled her close, her nipples hardened against his bare skin. “I killed a man today.”
“No. That thing you killed was a monster, a demon.” Zander had wanted to be the one to end the life of the psychopath who tortured his love. “He lost his humanity a long time ago. You saved countless lives today.”
“I wasn’t thinking of anyone other than myself. I wanted him to suffer.” She squeezed his middle. “I’m damaged Zander. Mentally as much as physically. You got the raw end of the deal in this match-up. You deserve so much better.” Her wet cheek pressed against him. Tears cascaded down his torso.
“Dammit Grayce. Don’t say things like that. I never want to hear those words from you again.” He sat her in the chair, knelt between her thighs and clenched her wet face in his hands. “You’re beautiful and amazing and I love you. I love you so much it hurts.” Her tears fell faster than his thumbs could wipe them away. “Stephen loves you too. We love your bad temper. We love your foul mouth.”
“You deserve to be with a woman who can love you wholly. Not just physically.” Chin raised, she met his gaze. The wisdom and experience of a thousand lives shimmied behind her tears. “What if I’m never able to? That can’t possibly be good enough for you.”
“Grayce, let me ask you something.”
She nodded, wiping moisture from her lashes.
“If we hadn’t met, if I was unable to find you, do you think you would have ever given any man a chance?”
Confused, she shook her head. “Hell no. No fucking way.”
Relief coursed through his veins. “I often thought of our withdrawals as a curse. You know, a cruel joke.”
A breeze rolled through the broken window carrying the scent of fall into the room.
“Think about it. If we didn’t have the withdrawals, if we didn’t physically need to be near each other, you would have no reason to stay, right?” He didn’t wait for her response. “But because of them, you and I need to be close. We don’t have the option of leaving or giving up. We have to make this work.”
An exasperated sigh escaped her lips. He held up a finger to stop her from speaking.
“Wait. Before you get mad, hear me out.” He sat next to her in the chair. “You can’t disappear into your dark place, right? You can’t run away. You have to stay here with me. Don’t you see? This is a good thing, not because it’s taking your free will away, but because in time, you’ll see that you can love and be loved. You will learn to love and trust again, because leaving is no longer an option.”
* * * *
Grayce remained silent as she pondered his words. She hadn’t thought of it that way. Maybe he was on to something.
There was no fucking way she would’ve let another man get near her. Because of the bond between them, Zander could never physically hurt her. His soul was too good to hurt her emotionally. So there was no reason to be afraid.
Could she love him eventually? Maybe she already did and just couldn’t recognize it. Would she be able to love her brother? He’d already burrowed his own little groove into her heart. One thing she knew for sure, being alone sucked. Although it had kept her physically safe all these years, it left a vast hole in her spirit. One that could only be filled by her new family.
“Zander. Where’s the bed?” She looked around the room, then toward the green valley through the missing window. The serene view steadied her spinning thoughts.
“You’re not the only one with anger issues.” He rubbed his fingers up the length of her arm and rested them in her hair. “I was pissed and scared. I didn’t know where you were.”
Worms danced the jitterbug in her stomach as he played with a curl. “Grayce. Please don’t leave me again. It would kill me. Please tell me you’ll at least try. Give us a chance.”
He may as well have punched a hole in her chest and squeezed her heart with his bare hands. He didn’t want to be alone. He was abandoned as a teen. She almost abandoned him again.
For some crazy reason, his need for her was more than physical. Maybe someday she’d understand why. Maybe not. In that moment, what she knew to be true, was in this man’s arms, she felt safe and right and free.
Oh my God. She was free. No more running, no more hiding.
He knew everything about her twisted past, fucked up present and the instability the future held. Despite it all, he still wanted to be with her.