“Alright, I’ll handle it.” Just before pulling the door closed, her eyes soft, Mom added, “I meant what I said, honey. There will be other boys. Don’t break your heart permanently over this first one, okay?”
I swallowed. “I’ll try not to.”
Once she was gone I flopped back onto the bed, gazing up at the ceiling. Mom really didn’t understand. Becks wasn’t just the first. He was first, last and all the others in between. I didn’t want anyone else. Becks was it for me. As much as it hurt now, that was the way it’d always been, would always be. Yet no matter how I felt, we were destined to be nothing more or less than friends. I’d made peace with that fact before, and I’d do it again. I’d have to do it again. If it was the only way to have Becks in my life, then that was that.
I jumped as my phone buzzed on my nightstand.
Reaching over, I flipped it open and read the text from Becks.
“R U OK?” it said.
I took a deep breath then typed, “Of course I am :)”
Even with the emoticon, Becks didn’t fall for it. “BS. Sal, why won’t U see me??”
Closing my eyes, I decided: There was only one thing to do. This time I let my fingers do the lying for me.
“Just act for Mom. Have to make BrkUp look real, right?”
A few moments ticked by, and then Becks texted back. “Right… See U at school 2morrow?”
I sighed, glad he’d let it go. “U bet. Bye, Becks.”
“Bye, Sal…”
I slid the phone shut, switching it from one hand to the other, hoping I would be as convincing in person.
The next day I’d showered, put on new, clean clothes, got to my zero period on time. My insides were still a mess, but I thought I’d managed to hide it pretty well.
“So,” Pisszilla said, tapping her pen on the paper in front of her, “did you get it, Spitz?”
“Get what?” I asked.
She raised an eyebrow. “The college. Did you get the name before that embarrassing scene on Mercedes’s lawn, or did Becks dump your sorry butt before you had a chance?”
I flushed. Naturally, Pisszilla would bring something like that up, right here in front of everyone on the paper, where it’d cause the most humiliation.
“Are you deaf?” Ash said, and her eyes shot to him. “Didn’t you hear what happened? She broke up with him, not the other way around.”
“Of course, I heard. Everyone did.” Pisszilla pointed at me, her carefully made-up eyes filled with malicious glee. “She was speaking in tongues, making a fool out of herself, having a breakdown right there at the party.”
“German,” I mumbled.
“What?” she hissed.
I looked her square in the eye, sick of her crap. “I was speaking in German. And no, I didn’t get the name of the college. Guess you’ll just have to get it yourself.”
“Fine, I will.”
“Yeah, good luck with that.”
She glared. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“Becks and I are—” God, what were we now? I went with the one thing that’d never changed. “—best friends. If he didn’t tell me, I’m sure he’s not going to tell a cold-hearted, vicious spewing, too-much-make-up wearing, peroxide blond jerk like you.”
She gasped, hands flying to her hair. “You bitch! This is all natural.”
I raised an eyebrow of my own.
“Roots don’t lie, Prissy.”
She sputtered, glaring as snickers went up around the room.
Before Pisszilla could get another word in, the bell rang, and I walked out, feeling a bit lighter.
“Hey, Spitz.”
I turned as Ash stepped up next to me. “What’s up, Ash?”
“I need to talk to you,” he said. “It’s about something you said at the party…”
I was hardly listening. Becks was standing a little ways down the hall, Mercedes on one side, nearly spilling out of her top, Roxy on the other, hip cocked wide in a pair of short shorts. It was impossible to tell who was showing the most skin. They were both talking to him, speaking over each other, but he was scanning the hall. When he locked eyes with me, Becks shook them off in one fluid movement, heading my way with a determined look on his face.
That couldn’t mean anything good.
“Ash, can we talk later?” I said, already moving for the bathroom.
“Okay,” he said, “but Spitz—”
“Alright, bye.” I rushed across the hall and made it inside as the warning bell sounded. I caught a glimpse of Ash and Becks, both wearing identical looks of surprise, but I didn’t care. My heart had skipped a beat when I’d seen Becks. All I could think about was that kiss on Mercedes’s countertop. A little more time, I decided. That’s all I needed was a little more time. Then I’d be ready to face him.