“Alright, alright,” she said. “I’m sorry. Chaz was kind of a last resort. Great hair, tight butt, but not much going on upstairs. What about Austin?”
I shook my head. How was this my life?
“Not him either, huh?” she said. “Okay, no problem. The next one will be better, I promise.”
“There’s not going to be a next one. I’m done.” As she walked away, locking arms with the Wolverine look-alike standing at the end of the aisle, I made a last ditch effort. “You hear me, Hooker? Done. I’m serious this time.”
“Yeah, okay,” she tossed back. “Later, Spitz.”
“Sally?” Austin was waiting patiently near the door, phone in hand. “You ready to go?”
“Yeah,” I replied, feeling sort of bad. I hadn’t even remembered he was there. “Sorry about all this. I had no idea Hooker was going to bring me another date.”
“That’s okay,” he said.
“Thanks for understanding.” Reaching him, I shook my head. “Austin Harris, you are too nice for your own good.”
Austin was silent at my side, looking deep in thought, and I was scared I’d said something wrong. We’d both already had to suffer an entire two hours of Chaz Neely. That was enough to put anyone in a bad mood.
As we stepped outside, he stopped me with a hand on my arm.
“Sally,” he said hesitantly, “there’s…something I want to say…but I don’t want to upset you.”
So polite, I thought. “Okay, I’m listening.” Whatever it was couldn’t be that bad.
Taking a deep breath, he said, “I think I’m in love with you.”
My breath left me in a whoosh.
“I know it’s sudden,” Austin said, taking my hand. “I know we only just met, but…I also know how I feel. I’ve never met a girl I could talk to so easily. Sally, I can just feel it. You’re the one for me.”
It took me a beat. My shock was so great I was surprised I hadn’t swallowed my tongue.
“Austin,” I said, trying to remain calm. The situation required delicacy.
“Yes, love?”
Oh, that was it. “Are you crazy?!”
“But—”
“No,” I said, taking a step back. “You can’t possibly be serious.”
“But Sally, I love you!”
His face was so open, he looked so sure. Besides being totally freaked by his confession, I actually felt sorry for the guy. Austin Harris was clearly a wackadoo, but a wackadoo with a heart.
“No, Austin—” I shook my head and made my voice as gentle as possible. “—You don’t. You hardly know me.”
“I know how I feel,” he said, tone resolute. “I love you, Sally Spitz, and that’s all there is to it.” He paused to meet my eyes. “Do you…feel anything for me?”
“Yes, friendship,” I said. “I’d love to call you my friend, Austin, but that’s as far as it goes. I’m sorry.”
Watching the hope in his expression disappear was like a slap to the face.
“I get it,” he said, scuffing the toe of his shoe against the pavement, looking anywhere but my face. “I really made an ass out of myself, didn’t I?”
“No way,” I said. “You’re a nice guy, Austin. There’s someone out there for you. It’s just not me.” I held out my hand. “So…friends?”
“Friends,” he agreed, and we shook on it. “Are you ready to go?”
Remembering his safer than safe driving, I thought quickly. “You go on. I think I’m going to stop by Paula’s for a slice. They stay open late whenever there’s a midnight release.”
“But how will you get home?”
“I’ll catch a ride.” I shooed him toward his car. “Go ahead, I’ll be fine.”
“Alright, if you’re sure.” Austin took my hand again and kissed the back. “It was nice meeting you, Sally.”
“You too,” I said surprised.
On my way next door to Paula’s Pizzeria, I reviewed the events of the night. Chaz had been a complete bust, but Austin was okay. Why couldn’t I just go for someone sweet like him? I mean, sure, he was a little nuts, telling me he loved me after only one date, but there were worse things. As I watched him still navigating oh so slowly through the near-empty parking lot, though, I knew it would’ve never worked.
I liked to drive fast, five miles over the speed limit at least, and Austin was a by the rules kind of guy. If I ever got behind the wheel, I was sure he’d have a coronary. And I wasn’t sure I could date someone who preferred Justice League over Rogue and her crew. That right there was the definition of incompatibility.