Adoring Ink (Montgomery Ink #6.5)(14)

Brody frowned. "What about your dad through all of this? You never mentioned him."

She sighed. "My dad was around to pay the bills and to eat the dinner I made for him every night. But that's it. They didn't sleep in the same bed because Mom needed extra care, and Dad needed sleep. If Mom felt like she might be getting sick at night, I was the one to wake up and deal with it. My dad pretty much ignored me for that decade of my life, and frankly, he ignores me now. I think they're still living in the same house because I send a Christmas card to them every year and it doesn't get returned, but that's all I know. I left to go to college and never went back. It was the only way I could look at myself in the mirror every morning. I had become a shadow of myself, and I didn't like that person."

Brody reached out and cupped her face. "I want to find your parents and slap some sense into them, but that won't help anything. I'm glad you found a way to escape, but hell, that was not a way to grow up."

She shrugged. "It was what it was, and I got out. But I was so determined to go to school and get my degree and then my certification that I never really stopped being that shadow. I worked to pay for everything so I wouldn't have to rely on anyone, and I eventually got a job that helped me pay for this place, but throughout it all, I stayed away from everyone else. It's only been in the past few years that I've actually started to have friends." She winced. "I know that sounds weird, but that's me. Weird Holly Rose."

He shook his head and frowned. "There's nothing weird about you, Holly."

But there was something odd in his tone. She couldn't tell what it was, but when he smiled at her, it didn't quite reach his eyes. He held her soon after, and she felt his heart under her ear, and yet he didn't speak again about what she'd told him that night.

They didn't make love that night either.

He didn't sleep over.



       
         
       
        

Instead, he kissed her softly before saying he needed to head home to go to work the next day since he was on an early shift. She let him go because he'd mentioned that before, but had thought he'd do what he always did and sleep over anyway.

It didn't make any sense … or it shouldn't have.

She'd told him more about herself, tried to get a little closer to him, and he'd run away.

Maybe she'd been right, maybe she'd made a mistake in talking to him about things other than her list.

She'd fallen for Brody, but she was so afraid he hadn't fallen for her.

And he never would.





Chapter Eight



Brody was a fool. He knew this more than anyone, and yet, every time he did something as monumentally stupid as he'd done the night before, he surprised himself with the level of his foolishness.

He'd fucking left her after she'd told him all about her past. She'd needed him, and he'd run away like a coward. Not only did he want to find her parents and knock some sense into them for daring to hurt her, but he also needed to do it to himself.

"What's up with you?" Derek asked as he walked into Taboo. Brody had been sitting in the café, looking at his coffee as it cooled, and trying to think of what to say when he saw Holly next.

"I'm an idiot."

Derek slid into the booth across from Brody and nodded. "Well, yeah. You're a man in a relationship with a woman far better than you. So, yeah, you're an idiot."

Brody looked around the café for children, didn't spot any, and flipped off his friend. "She is better than me, but thanks for saying it."

Derek shrugged and picked the uneaten cheese Danish off Brody's plate. He gestured with it, and Brody waved him off. The other man grinned and bit in, his eyes going unfocused. Yeah, the food here was that good, but Brody hadn't been able to stomach anything with his mind going in a thousand different directions.

"I'd marry Hailey for her baked goods alone," Derek crooned.

Brody raised a brow. "And Sloane would kill you with one hand tied behind his back. Dude's a freaking tank."

"That he is. I'm surprised he didn't maim you when you asked Hailey out."

Brody narrowed his eyes. "Hey, they weren't dating at the time. In fact, I prompted Sloane to go to her and ask her out. In essence, I brought those two together."

Derek sighed. "Yeah, and we all actually believe that. So, tell me this, oh wise one, if you can believe in them enough and their relationship to push them together, why are you sitting here alone pouting into cold coffee and not with your woman right now?" 

Because Sloane and Hailey aren't me.

He didn't say that, of course. How could he? Derek wouldn't understand, and Brody was having a hard time understanding himself these days. That's the problem with relationships. They fucked things up for everyone involved, and in the end, people got hurt. People died.

"You going to answer me? Or is your coffee telling you sweet nothings or the secrets of the universe?"

Brody snorted. "Hailey's coffee isn't that good."

Derek winced and looked around quickly. "Are you crazy? You can't say that so loudly here. She might look sweet, but she has a mean right hook."

Brody looked up at the other man and frowned. "I'm fucking things up."

Derek's eyes filled with sympathy. "If you're here and not with Holly on your time off, then yeah, you're fucking things up. But, dude? You know how the entire Montgomery and Gallagher clans threatened to kill you if you hurt her? I'm not exactly one of them."

At that reminder, Brody winced. "So you're not going to kill me if I hurt her?" Or maybe he should have said when.

"Oh, I will kill you, but after I make sure you're okay. I'm your friend, Brody. I know you're the guy that knows everyone, but you push us all a safe distance away. That's fine if that's how you want to live, but maybe you should try something different. Maybe you should learn to rely on someone. And while I'm here for you, I think Holly should be the first person you rely on. Not me."

Brody shook his head. "I don't want to hurt her, man."

"Then don't."

"It's easy for you to say; you're single." Brody cursed as he caught the hurt in Derek's eyes before the other man blinked it away. "Shit. I'm sorry, man."

Derek waved it off. "It is easy for me to tell you not to hurt her because I have nothing to do with it. But that doesn't make what I'm saying any less true. If you want to pursue things with her, do it, but know you might have to open up to her more than you have. You might have to tell her those secrets you hide from everyone. The ones we all know are there."

Brody straightened. "What do you mean?"

Derek just shook his head. "We know you, buddy, but we don't know you. You won't let us. And no, we don't have conversations about you behind your back, but it's a feeling I get anyway. Okay? So if you want to be with Holly, then you need to be more than the smiling and happy Brody. Show her you mean it. Romance her. Be hers. Don't fuck it up because you're scared. Because being scared is okay, man. We all are. Just don't let that fear be all you are. Holly deserves more than that and so do you."

And with that, Derek knocked his knuckles on the table as he stood up to leave. Brody watched the other man go, wondering once again how Derek seemed to know so much yet reveal so little.

With a sigh, Brody got up and left a tip on the table. He'd already tipped Hailey at the register, but he'd taken up the space for so long it was needed. As he drove to Holly's house, he did his best to keep his thoughts in check. The two of them weren't serious, though they'd talked about serious things. They hadn't planned on things past the list, and yet he had a feeling if he weren't careful, he'd end up in a situation he couldn't handle. He'd been fine on his own all this time, and that couldn't change. He wouldn't let it. He'd help Holly with her list because he wanted to, and then he'd walk away before anyone got hurt.

That was the best for everyone.

When he pulled up to her cottage, he figured he'd lied to himself enough to get through this. She opened the door on the first knock and frowned at him.



       
         
       
        

"I didn't know you were coming by." Her voice wasn't angry or hurt, just confused.

He really was an asshole.

"I left early yesterday and wanted to see you." That much was the truth.

"Oh," she said as she stepped aside to let him in. "I was just finishing working out and was about to jump in the shower."

He looked up and down her body, his mouth watering at the sight of the sweat rolling between her breasts and her tight workout outfit molding to every curve. He reached out and gripped her hip. "I like these pants," he said roughly. "They hug you just right."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm glad you think so." She reached up and kissed his chin, and he lowered his head so he could take her lips. It was a quick kiss, but it was so filled with heat, he had to back away before he did something stupid.

Like, throw her down on the floor to rut like some animal.

"Did you want something to eat while I shower?" she asked, and he shook his head.

"I'm sorry for leaving like I did," he blurted. Hell, he hadn't meant to say that.