Grandma laughed. “Oh, you two.”
Then she gave us that look. That one older people gave to younger people when they were convinced they were in love and belonged together. Problem was, she had only half of that equation right. My half. Which meant my feelings must have been pretty obvious. But wait…did that mean Colby also knew? And if so, did that make the sex even more awkward for him? Maybe that was why he was trying to distance himself from me. Like in some weird twisted way maybe he thought this was for my own good.
I stared at him—my friend, the boy I’d been in love with for as long as I could remember—and felt…well, pathetic. I mean, I’d suspected my infatuation of epic proportions always had been, but actually hooking up with him…what was I thinking? I thought I could play off the friends with benefits, but the only one I had been trying to fool was myself.
Colby’s eyebrows bunched together and he opened his mouth then quickly glanced around. He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that to come out the way it did.” He studied me, like he was searching my expression for some sign of forgiveness or something, but he had no idea this was no longer about Taylor. It was about him. And what I meant to him. Or more importantly what I wasn’t to him.
I forced a smile and shook my head. “No worries.” I shifted toward Landon. “I’ll be there tonight. Wouldn’t miss it.” Then I spun away and focused on loading the dishwasher.
From that point on, the conversation trickled, and I was more than a little relieved when the guys finally left. A big part of me felt like a breakdown was looming, but if I could get some distance from Colby, I’d be able to suppress it, just like I’d done with every other emotion I’d had for him over the years. Nothing new there.
—
About an hour after they left, I dressed for the beach and waited for Taylor to pick me up. When my phone chimed with a text that she was parking, I said a quick goodbye to Grandma and headed out to meet her. No point in making her search for our apartment when I could save her a trip.
I waved to her as she stepped out of her car wearing a cute sheer white cover-up over a pink bikini.
She waved back. “Hey!” After she got over her initial nervousness at Colby’s, I’d discovered Taylor was as outgoing as me, but I hadn’t decided yet if our similar personalities would be a good thing or a disastrous one. “It’s so hot out! I can’t wait to hit the beach.”
I glanced up. The sky was almost completely blue minus a few wisps of clouds. “Definitely.”
After setting my beach bag on the backseat, I climbed in the passenger seat. Taylor started the engine and the air conditioner blasted through the car.
She slid knobs and adjusted vents. “You can move these if you aren’t getting any air.”
“Oh, thanks.” I repositioned the one closest to me. It was weird starting up a new friendship. Almost like dating. The easiest thing to do was probably just keep the conversation moving. “So Landon told me that Jack’s is going to have a band playing tonight. Want to check it out with me?”
She practically bounced in her seat then laughed. “I was going to ask you the same thing.” As she pulled out of the parking lot, she glanced over at me and grinned. “Matt mentioned it, but I wanted to see if you were going before I decided if I would. But if you want to go together, I can tell him we’ll meet him there.”
Way to third-wheel it. “Or I can meet you there?” I’d have to remember she actually had a boyfriend in order to avoid always intruding on their plans.
She shook her head. “No way. I’d much rather go with you. If I get there before, I’ll just feel completely out of place until you get there. I don’t know what it is, but I just feel so…I don’t know, like maybe the guys don’t like me?” She shrugged a little, a look of apology on her face.
“I’m sure they do. They’re great guys. Really easy to get along with.”
“Well, you’ve hung out with them forever. I’ve always just been Brandon’s little sister. Now I’m Matt’s girlfriend. I don’t think they see me as a friend…”
And here I’d thought my friendship with Taylor was helping me expand my social circle, but in reality, it was probably just as important to her.
“I hadn’t really thought of it from your perspective. The guys are great though. And soon we won’t even be able to remember a time when you weren’t hanging around with us!” I offered a big smile.
“I look forward to that.” She flipped on her blinker and turned into the parking lot for the public beach access. “Thanks, by the way.”