Kelly waits in her mom’s Jeep on the curb right outside the luggage carousel, looking uncharacteristically sullen. I gave her an abbreviated version of the truth from the women’s bathroom in the JFK airport, and of course, she was eager to help in any way she could. Luckily it’s the weekend and she’s on break from her duties as camp counselor. She greets me with a hug. I’m a mere rag-doll against her.
“You’ll get through this,” she whispers before kissing the side of my head and taking my bag. Adam hugs her next, mumbling something into her ear before we slide together into the backseat of her car.
Kelly asks non-invasive questions about our flight, if we’ve had anything to eat, and so on. Adam answers her questions easily, as if it’s just another night of the three of us hanging out, looking for something fun to pass time.
As the miles to my house lessen, an anxious rush to turn around constricts my chest like the onset of a heart attack. I silently thank Kelly for driving, because I don’t think I could’ve gone through this alone. Once Adam realizes this was a trap to bring him back, I could lose him forever whether he finally agrees to the surgery or not. I keep glancing over at his steely blue eyes, trying to convince myself it’s the only way. Even if he becomes angry with me, at least he’ll have a chance to live a longer life.
“It’s going to be okay,” he whispers, kissing the side of my head.
I wish I could believe him.
As soon as he sees the sparkling white BMW parked in my parents’ driveway, he knows. He drops my hand without saying anything. He doesn’t need to. I can see the ugly realization of my betrayal flash across his face.
I may be a legal adult involved in a complicated grownup relationship, but it doesn’t stop my parents from treating me like I’m sixteen all over again. My mom claims it’s because I went against our agreement when she takes the cell phone away that they pay for. She tells me I’m mentally unwell when they condemn me to their house indefinitely. She says it’s because I put Adam’s life in danger by sneaking away with him when she forbids me to see him ever again. She says it’s because I’m not ready to be on my own that I’ll spend the rest of my summer working under her unyielding supervision.
Once the storm has passed, Kelly comes by my house early the next morning. I’m amazed when my dad actually lets her up to see me. She strolls in casually, her eyes traveling across my childhood possession of cheerleading trophies and worthless nicknacks still adorning the bookshelves along the bubblegum pink walls. She’s been here a dozen times, but I don’t think she’ll ever get over just how Barbie-licious my bedroom remains from high school.
I tell her everything that happened after she left the night before. Appearing afflicted by my list of punishments, she flops down beside me on the king-sized mattress, our feet hanging together off the side. “At least you don’t have a car for them to take away.”
I huff in agreement, wiping at my swollen eyes. “I’m surprised she didn’t offer to buy me one just so she could.”
“They’d have to get a court order to make you stay, you know. You’re old enough to just walk away.”
“It would only encourage them to try harder.”
Her bracelets clink together when her hand covers my arm. Her unyielding support takes me back to the rough months when I was freshly mourning Jason’s death and the way she was always trying to cheer me up even though I had hit the bottom depths of a crippling depression. “Have you heard from Adam?”
“Although I’ll be old enough to legally drink in a few weeks, I’m not allowed a cell phone, remember?”
“I still don’t understand what the guy has against social networking. Even my grandma has a Facebook account. At least he has my number. He’ll call when he’s ready to talk and can’t get in touch with you.”
Angst wraps around my heart when I remember the cold shoulder he gave me, the way he shot me a blank stare while his parents laid into him, the way he pretended I didn’t exist when he rode off in the back of their car. I may as well have actually taken those damn pills that day in New York. Especially if he won’t ever take me back.
Tears roll down my face. “I’m not so sure about that, Kel. I doubt he’ll ever want to talk to me again.”
Her fingers brush up and down my arm. “Do you think he’ll at least agree to the surgery?”
“I hope so. If I lost him, it better be for a good reason.” I dab at the tears in my eyes, sighing. “You know the worst part? I was doing really well in New York. For the first time since Jason died I was seriously happy and functioning like anyone else. We made friends there. I envisioned myself living with Adam in a place like the one we were renting. My mom thinks I had a mental breakdown, when in fact I’ve never been healthier. So not only have I probably lost Adam, but I’m back to having to earn my parents’ trust all over again.”