The bartender sets a glass of pop on the bar in front of me. “It’s on the house. Ya look like ya could use a pick me up.”
I smile artificially, deciding I’m not in the mood to share my twisted problems with a total stranger. “Thanks.”
I sip on the drink, my eyes trained on the TV as fresh tears spill down my cheeks. Of all the things Adam confessed, telling me he’s giving up was the worst. Hearing him say he won’t even try for my sake makes me wonder if he really does love me, or if he was just saying it to make me feel better among the string of shitty news. I know so little about diabetes. I don’t really understand the function of a pancreas, and didn’t know you could function on one kidney. How long does he have left?
After a few minutes I feel movement of someone claiming the bar stool next to me, smell their heavy, musky scent of an expensive cologne or aftershave. Feel their big hand brush against my back.
“Jewels.” Theo grins down on me, dressed in a slightly rumpled suit and bright red tie that look oddly perfect on his hulking frame. “What are you doing here alone?
Where’s Adam?”
Blame it on the alcohol still in my system, blame it on the fact that we shared a jaded form of intimacy the night before, blame it on Adam for dumping his destructive secret on my shoulders, but I burst into a heaping mess in my hot neighbor’s arms.
Sitting in the private booth at the back of the pub, I gather my hair over my shoulder and collapse against Theo’s side. He rubs my shoulder in a way that’s more sympathetic than sexual. It’s exactly the right kind of comfort I’m craving, considering Kelly is thousands of miles away.
I left the brownstone over an hour ago. In Theo’s arms, I was finally able to release the feelings I’ve been harboring for so long to have a good, proper cry. Theo didn’t push me to tell him what was wrong. He just held me against his chest and let me cry it out until I was able to talk. Other than the fact that I probably ruined Theo’s designer suit and freaked him out for a little while, it felt amazing.
I glance at the clock mounted above the bar. “He’s probably going crazy about now. I should go back.” I look up at Theo, my shoulders slumping. “What am I going to do?”
“The way I see it, there’s only one solution to this mess,” he tells me, his chest vibrating with each word. “I saw the way he looked at you last night when he wanted to leave. The guy’s a total goner. And considering you love him back, walking away isn’t going to work. If he’s set against having the transplant, trying to force him into it will only make him angry. You’re going to have to ride this trip out with him, Jewels. Make sure he doesn’t spend whatever time he has left alone, feeling rejected.”
I wipe at my running nose with a napkin and huff. “That’s all you got?”
His shoulder lifts behind me. “Love can’t always be about what you want. Sometimes it’s about letting the person you’re in a relationship with know that they’re the center of your universe, even if you have to give up something to be with them.”
“This sounds suspiciously like a lesson you’ve deduced on your own.”
“Thanks to Brooklyn, the ex-roommate. She was studying to be an actress. I got tired of her going to parties where she hoped to get noticed by some sleazy producer or studio exec. My schedule wouldn’t always allow me to go along, so I acted like a dick and told her it was the parties or me. It was hard not to get jealous. I loved her, but it wasn’t enough. Now I wish I would’ve made different choices. Not because she was featured on Saturday Night Live, though the after parties would’ve been so kick-ass, but because I miss her. She could be pretty bossy and high maintenance, but I miss everything else and would do anything to get a second chance. I guess I took advantage of having her in my life. I actually thought we’d end up getting married one day.”
I lean back to study Theo’s handsome features, a wide grin spreading across my lips. I never would’ve guessed this insanely hot guy would turn out to be so sweet and big-hearted. There must be different degrees of love at first sight because I’ve fallen for him as a friend nearly as fast as I fell for Adam sexually and soulfully the very first time we met.
“You seem like a pretty stellar act.” I pull on his crooked tie, pretending to straighten it. “I’m sure it won’t be long until you find at least one keeper among the millions of women who live in this city.”
“Are you absolutely sure you’re in love with this guy?” He narrows his eyes, lit with mischief. “You and me...just imagine the possibilities! Our children would be one tier above the greek gods.”