I squeeze his hand. “Hey, look at me.”
Reluctantly, his eyes roll back my way, void of the compassion and endearment they held earlier.
“Are you mad because of what we did in the bus?”
“You mean fuck?” His bitter tone takes me by surprise.
“Was there something else we did that I’m not aware of?” I huff and pull away from him. “What’s your deal?”
His hard gaze chills me down to my bones. “I told you I wanted to take things slow, remember? You made it cheap. Having sex on a bus is something sleazy that my brother would do, not me.”
“Because you didn’t have a good time? Seriously?” I gather my hair over one shoulder, suddenly feeling overheated from dancing with it down. That and my emotions are about to come to a boil. What’s with his sudden Jekyll and Hyde bit? “What do you want from me, Adam? What is this thing between us? I thought we were on this trip to have a good time!”
“It’s gotten too complicated.” He twists the hair at the crown of his head. His shoulders fall. “C’mon. I don’t want to do this with you. Let’s go before we get into a fight.” He leaves my side, disappearing to the street in front of the bus to hail a cab.
I stand on the sidewalk staring after him, feeling completely blindsided. I knew sex with Adam would be crazy hot. I just wasn’t expecting the chill that would follow.
I wake up on the back bench of the pickup with my muscles cramped from sleeping in the limited space. Adam’s still in the passenger’s seat, the back tilted as far as it would go, his beautiful lashes resting over his cheeks, mouth slightly parted. Staring at his peaceful face, uneasy swells fill my stomach. Sleeping in different places felt so horribly wrong, as if we’re getting ready to part ways.
By the time we got back to the pickup, I was so angry by his rejection that I didn’t want to walk around with him any longer in search of a hotel. He was reluctant to stay in a big city parking lot, but didn’t seem eager to argue and caved in.
Looking down at my pretty pink dress all crumpled from turning on the bench in the night, I want to cry. Sure, the sexual chemistry between us is off the hook, but I shouldn’t have let things get out of control on the bus. I should’ve waited like he wanted so our first time together could’ve been more like making love and not downright dirty.
But I can’t let myself feel those kinds of things for Adam. Not when I know there’s something horribly wrong with his life. Not when I know he could destroy me.
I’ve made so many mistakes in my short lifetime that I don’t have room for any more.
Confused and ashamed, I quickly slip from the pickup with my purse and cell phone in hand.
TWELVE
I run my finger over Adam’s cheek. “Wake up, pansy ass.”
He makes a low, throaty hum. The same kind he made when we were having sex.
He flinches when seeing me sitting in the driver’s seat, and quickly tilts the seat back upright. “Where are we?”
“Home sweet home. At least for a couple weeks.”
I point at the brownstone we’d seen pictures of online. In person it’s ten times more charming, nestled in a picturesque neighborhood off 30th Street. The narrow buildings are painted a subtly contrasting hue, differently shaped windows and styles of doors making each of them unique. The street is mostly barren, some of the parked cars lined along it looking like they’ve been left indefinitely with numerous parking tickets on the windshield. A line of identical bikes for rent locked to a bar stand a ways down from our place. It’s like something you’d see in a movie, or an episode of Sex and the City. The minute I first saw it, my heart took on a light, delightful beat.
Adam’s eyebrows draw down. “I thought we weren’t supposed to have the place until tomorrow.”
“I called the owner. No one was renting it today, so he said he’d have the cleaning staff stop by this afternoon while we’re off sightseeing.” I open the door, wagging my eyebrows. “Are you ready to check it out, or what?”
He reaches for the backseat. “Where’d our bags go?”
“I already took them inside.” I hop out of the pickup and wave him down with my hand.
I let a male jogger pass in front of our brownstone before lifting the gate and waiting for Adam to join me. His eyes light up at the sight of the green door atop the steps. “This place looks great.”
“You really think I was going to let us stay in anything subpar?” I poke at his chest, clicking my tongue. “I thought you knew me by now, Murphy.”
We race up the steps. I punch the code the owner gave me into the keypad, flinging the door open to the next flight of stairs. Adam passes me, hollering out excitedly when he reaches the top. “Holy shit! It’s twice as big as it looked in the pictures!”