Did he really ask me to go on this trip strictly as friends? It seems impossible that I could keep things platonic, denying these feelings that keep growing stronger each day I get to know him better. “Why would you say that about yourself? There’s still time for you to do something meaningful with your life.” I lift my chin higher. “And I think it’s up to me to decide if you’re right for me or not.”
“You don’t want to get involved with me,” he tells me in the gruffest voice I’ve heard all week. Leaning over the table, he closes his stormy eyes for a moment. “Trust me. My family’s a nightmare. My life’s a mess.”
His argument only frustrates me further. I can handle difficult parents. It’s one of my specialties. I’ve been able to charm the pants off some of the crankiest people. But it’s starting to feel like he’s trying to find any excuse to reject me. Paranoia invades my every thought, spreading like poison.
“I still don’t get it. If you just want us to be friends, why didn’t you ask one of your buddies?”
“I already told you. My friends are boring.”
I look down to the sugar packet still in my fingers and grimace. “But what if I were to actually like you as something more than a friend?” I surprise even myself by saying it out loud, and don’t dare glance up to see what kind of expression Adam has because of my confession. Do I sound desperate? My cheeks flush.
I hear Adam pull in a slow breath. “Considering you just broke up with someone a few days ago, I’d say I wouldn’t want to be that guy.” He mutters something under his breath as he shifts around. “It’s like I said, I have a lot of fun when I’m with you. Is there any way we can keep going on like this, or are things going to get too weird between us now?”
What he’s saying sounds like an ultimatum: either I drop my little crush on him, or we can’t be friends. I realize we’ve only known each other a little less than a week, but every minute I’ve spent away from him has felt like a lifetime. And I’d rather try this friendship thing than never get to see him again. Pulling myself together, my eyes snap back to his.
“That was hypothetical. Besides, you’re way too nice for me to get involved with you.
Bad guys are kind of my thing.”
Relief settles in his expression, and he smirks. “I guess that explains the biker.”
The waitress appears again, setting identical plates in front of us. “Anything else I can get you?”
Adam raises his eyebrows at me, silently asking if I need anything more. I tip my head at the waitress. “Thanks, I think we’re good.” As she spins around, Adam watches me dig into my crepe with a flittering smile that doesn’t quite transform the worry in his eyes. “Are we? Good, I mean?”
By now I’m used to stuffing my face in front of Adam, and don’t hold back with a heaping forkful. The mix of strawberries, cream cheese and chocolate syrup stuffed inside the crepe is like a piece of heaven. I moan, pointing at my plate with my dirty fork.
“We’re definitely not as good as this. Does the rest of the world know about these things?”
“I’m pretty sure, yeah.” He chuckles, cutting his first bite. “You’ve never had a crepe before?” When I shake my head, he laughs even louder, the sound of his voice cutting through the quiet lull of the diner. “Days like this I’m not sure which of us is more deprived.”
Our conversation leads far away from my confession, leaving me a little sad and confused, although still glad Adam wants to see me again all the same.
When I return to the dorms after work, Kelly gasps dramatically from the couch. In a pair of spandex capris and a mesh athletic tank top, her brown hair pulled into a high ponytail, it’s safe to guess she just returned from another run without me. I’ve always considered it gross that she doesn’t shower as soon as she gets back. She usually eats an ice cream bar and watches smut TV first. The empty wrapper rests on the floor next to her running shoes.
Her eyebrows raise. “Wow, what gives me the honor of your presence today, after I just put in an application for a new roommate? Why aren’t you attached to Adam’s hip?”
“Very funny,” I answer, flopping down beside her. “He said he’d pick me up later at the library. I just have to decide if I’m going with him or not.”
“Ooooh, trouble in paradise? Already?” she teases, nudging me.
I grunt. “There’s no paradise. He made it clear this morning that he only wants to be friends.”
Kelly’s eyes pop wide as she whips her ponytail over her shoulder. “Wait. Is he gay?”