Adam's List(20)

My mom already lined up a summer job for me in one of the clothing stores she manages downtown. I worked in a different store for her last year after high school, making pretty decent money, and saved half of it hoping to rent an apartment with Kelly next year. It wouldn’t be enough to live off for an entire summer, but—

I rise to my feet like a Jack-in-the-box when I realize I’m seriously considering his offer. “You’re crazy. This is crazy!”

“Can we calmly talk about it?” He gently pulls on my hand. “I think those people over there are this close to calling the cops.”

When I look back to the parents of the young boys they’re staring our way with matching frowns. I wave awkwardly. “It’s all good,” I yell to them. “We’re just having an intense debate on the tragedies of Shakespeare. You know, the creepy thing with Romeo and Juliet being so young and all.”

The man looks at me like I’m completely crazy, but the woman smirks like she knows I’m full of shit. She calls out to her boys, and the four of them head back to their minivan.

“Shakespeare?” Adam snickers behind me.

I turn back to him. His face is all lit up like he’s the happiest he’s ever been. “Would you quit looking at me like that? It’s not helping the crazy thing. At all.”

Wiping at his face, he chuckles quietly. “Sorry. I’ve just never met anyone like you before.”

I lower myself back to the ground beside him. “It’s safe to say I’ve never met anyone like you, either. You’re asking a stranger to go on a really big trip. If you’re serious about this list, why not take one of your buddies, or someone you actually know?”

“Because the few people I know are so damn boring.” He rolls to his back, folding his hands behind his head, grinning, even though I told him to stop. “I don’t know, I guess you seem fun. You’re into music, and traveling, and probably a handful of other interesting things.”

“If you think I’m interesting, then you really must hang out with some boring people.”

I sigh loudly. “You can’t ask a girl you’ve just met to travel across the country with you.”

“Why not?” He looks up into the blue sky and laces his hands over his chest before closing his eyes. “Have you ever been close to someone who died way before it was their time?”

My breath catches in my throat, and my hands begin to tremble. “Yeah,” I whisper. “I have.”

“My best friend died last fall.”

My eyes burn with phantom tears that won’t come. I know exactly how the pain of losing a loved one festers over time, relentless. I squeeze my legs to steady my hands.

“God, that really sucks. I’m sorry.”

“He was one of the funniest guys I’ve ever known, even when he was lying in the hospital bed, dying. He was sick most of his life, so he never got the chance to travel either. He would pick movies for us to watch in his room based on where they took place just so he could pretend he had been there. When he found out his heart wouldn’t hold out much longer, he made me promise that I would quit putting things off for another day, and do something unexpected, something I’ve always wanted to do. It’s part of the reason I dropped out of school.”

His watering eyes meet mine. “I know it probably sounds lame, but everyone I know is guilty of taking advantage of life when there’s no guarantee that we’ll be here another day, or even another hour. I’ve watched my dad bust his ass all my life. He worked insane hours and hardly ever came to see anything I did at school. I don’t understand why there’s this pressure to work ourselves to death if we can’t even stop to enjoy life.

Why should we have to work five or six days a week, and leave the fun for a few hours at night, maybe a day or two on the weekend? We’re beings with complex emotions. We should be able to enjoy ourselves. Experience things.

“Zach taught me life’s not supposed to be about just trying to survive, it’s meant for living. We’re young. We should be allowed to see what’s out there before we decide exactly what we want to do for the rest of our lives. I mean, we have years to decide that kind of thing. That’s why I think we should go on this trip together. Why not throw caution to the wind? Why not see what else is out there? I’m just asking you to give me a few weeks of your life.”

My heart thrums wildly in my chest when he’s done talking. There’s a feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I’m around Adam. I know it’s ridiculous considering we just met, but he makes me feel all kinds of things that I thought were deadened from my medication. The intense energy between us can’t just be my imagination, can it?