Are they disappointed that he quit school? It’s just one of the many things I’m dying to know about him.
I glance at the clock, willing it to speed ahead. “You’re early. And you said you were picking me up at my dorm.”
“Afraid to duck out a few minutes early and see what it’s like to live life on the edge?”
I can’t remember the last time I smiled as much as I have in the past twelve hours.
Especially not with Levi. A twinge of guilt twists in my stomach when I realize just how often I’ve been comparing the two guys since I met Adam. It’s not fair to either one of them. My heart isn’t in this relationship with Levi, so why drag it out any longer?
“Just let me do the responsible thing and check out with my supervisor.”
I barely hear Adam say something in response as I all but stumble away. I have to get a grip if I’m going to make it through this date. There’s no way I can enjoy Adam’s company with thoughts of Levi in the mix.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell Felicia as I pass her desk.
I break into the quiet hallway, gulping in deep breaths, talking myself through what I’m about to do. My hand shakes as I pull my phone from my back pocket. I’m about to lose my nerve and end the call when Levi answers among the sounds of a rowdy bar.
“Hey, babe, what’s up?”
It’s so typical that he doesn’t even ask how I’m feeling. I lick my lips, taking a moment to gather my courage. “Hey, Lee. I didn’t want to do this over the phone, but there’s something I need to tell you.” Part of me feels heartless for not doing this earlier when we were face to face. But then I remember how he acted like a horny dog, and I’m over it. “I wanted to tell you this earlier, but then Kel showed up, and...I think we should spend some time apart. Maybe see other people.”
“Where’d this come from?” He sighs in his irritated way. “I guess if that’s what you really want... whatever.”
His words are an unexpected jab. I’ve heard him get more upset about backordered motorcycle parts. He doesn’t even care, so why should I? I clutch my phone tightly, anger washing over me. “What I want is for you to show a little goddamn emotion every now and then. Act like you give a shit.”
I take a deep, calming breath. I’m met with silence, as expected. We haven’t engaged in any heart-to-heart revelations in the short time we’ve been together, and I probably blew him away with my unexpected outburst.
“What’s with all the drama?” he finally asks. “I already told you I’m not looking for anything serious. I thought the sex was good enough.”
“Goodbye, Levi.” I end the call, slipping my phone back into my pocket.
I’m not upset about breaking it off with someone who wasn’t good for me. Levi was nothing more than an anchor, considering there wasn’t an emotional bond between us. I know I did the right thing. Instead of congratulating myself, however, there’s a vast emptiness where I should be feeling relief. What if I’ve become unable to feel anything for anyone? What if this numbness never goes away?
When I walk back through the doors of the library to where Adam waits, I have all I can do not to break down.
FOUR
In the light of day I discover Adam’s wheels are more than just a “sleek” car. It’s actually a brand new Dodge Challenger painted a smoky gray with a sporty black stripe down the center. Either Adam’s spoiled or he saved up a lot of dough for this beauty. I pat the dashboard, smirking. “Sweet ride for a homeless guy.”
“This?” He smirks over at me. “It’s just a commuter. The Bentley stays in the five-stall garage during the week.”
I let out a humorless laugh, not sure if I’m supposed to take him seriously or not, and still unable to shake the uneasy feeling I’ve had since telling Levi we’re through.
Downtown is fairly quiet as usual on a Sunday evening, except for the restaurants just beginning to fill. Adam parks in front of a meter before turning to me, his eyebrows raised. “Everything good?”
“Damn dewy decimal system had me perplexed at work today.”
“Sorry,” he tells me in a clear display of sympathy.
I stare at him, a warmth tingling through me. I was expecting him to make some kind of joke about the stress of working at the library, or even to tell me it was time to get over it. Could he possibly be any nicer?
“I ordered Kate’s for carryout,” he says, tilting his head to the building beside us. “I ordered half cheese, half pepperoni. I figured it’s a relatively safe topping if you’re not a vegetarian.”