Accidentally Married to the Billionaire 3(29)
“Ha! You said nuts.”
“You’re so mature. I can’t imagine why more men don’t propose to you.”
“Men love a good nut joke. They love their junk and any reference to it is assumed to be flattering. Simpletons,” Marj smirked to herself.
“If you have to leave, if you have to hurry up and file for divorce or something, I want you to come out to LA and be with us. We’re here another week at least, between tour dates. Jack’s laying down some tracks in the studio. It’s early days, and I think he’s not through writing the title song yet, but progress is being made, and we’re stationary for at least the next five days. I mean it. Come on out here. The weather’s great.”
“My life is here. And by life, I mean my sham marriage and the place I’m going to start volunteering tomorrow. Because a girl has to do something to keep it together. Listen, thanks for answering the phone. I know I called stupid late, but it means a lot that I can count on you.”
“You’ve got it bad. You’re sappy. You usually just tell me to shut up and quit being such a pussy when I tell you I miss you.”
“I’m off my game tonight. Sorry.”
“Oh my gosh! I’m going to have to rent a car and come to your house. I have never not once heard you apologize to anyone. Not even that time you put habanero pepper juice into Luke’s water bottle—”
“I am still not sorry for that. And no one can prove that I did it.”
“We had security cameras at work.”
“They were tampered with. By bastards who had it in for me. I was framed.”
“By yourself!” Britt laughed, “Now you take care and stop being sentimental or I’m calling 911.”
“Deal. I don’t need the temptation of hot paramedics. I’m supposed to be happily married and fake tanned.”
“Understood. And if he really is playing you, you have to tell me when you get proof because I’d hate to hire my very first hitman on the strength of unsubstantiated hearsay. I need evidence. Something definitive.”
Marj loved how Britt tried to make her laugh.
“You’re not hiring a hitman,” said Marj with a huge chuckle.
“But see! I made you laugh!”
“You sure did. Now please don’t hire a hitman.”
“Okay, I’ll ask my big strong husband to hire one for me.”
“Ha, ha. I just want Brandon to feel the way he said he felt. Which isn’t likely to happen but I was so content with it, so ready to just give up everything and live the life he wanted for as long as he’d have me. It’s so so so so pathetic and stupid and horrible,” Marj buried her face in her hands.
“How are you fitting in with his world?” Britt asked.
“Well, if I go out of character, they ignore me.”
“What?”
“I was jogging, and Brandon wanted to meet me at the park, so he sent the limo to look for me. The limo driver completely ignored me until I walked up to him and flashed my wedding ring and kindly told him who I was. Then he immediately slipped into kiss ass mode.”
“Oh, the power of the ring!”
“My pretty…”
Britt laughed. “I love Lord of the Rings.”
“Brandon’s ring on my finger does get me literally whatever I want.”
“If you’re dressed the part of a socialite.”
“Ha, ha. We both know I’d never fit in with those rich housewives.”
“Why not? You’re pretty, funny, and rich.”
“Because some of Brandon’s friends’ wives I’ve tried to hang out with just aren’t living in the real world.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I was having lunch with them. And these are the kind of women who maintain a dangerously low weight to fit into those sleek designer dresses.”
“Yeah, I know the type.”
“I heard our waitress crying because she was short on her rent. And the women I was with poked fun behind her back and laughed at her smeared mascara. Then, they just went on and on about Sally’s air-conditioned doghouse. And then they talked about how important it was to be seen in the right clothes at the right places. I don’t know, Britt. That’s just not me. I can’t hang out with women like that.”
“That’s because you’re down to earth.”
“I gave the waitress $5,000 as a tip. I hope it helps her.”
“Marj, you are so generous and loving.”
“That’s the kind of person I want to be. Not the kind of person that goes on and on about an air-conditioned doghouse and makes fun of people. I’m not sure if I can fit in his world. I’m not the daughter of wealthy, socially prominent parents. I didn’t grow up this way. Maybe I can’t fit into his upper-class world.”