She made lists on her phone of things to do and not to do. She would have as much fun as possible. She would make an effort to fit in and be reasonable. She would try, as far as was practical, to make Brandon’s life better. She would NOT get in a fight with the WQ. She would NOT encourage him to do thoughtful things for her because it created a vicious cycle of affection and appreciation. She would NOT do romantic or personal things for him. She would NOT fall in love.
It wasn’t a very good list, and it didn’t do much to make her feel better in all honesty.
Chapter 11
The next morning, she was exhausted from being awake most of the night. She kept to her list. She dressed modestly for the mosque tour. She didn’t tease Brandon about how hot he looked in his chinos or about not getting themselves arrested for showing affection in sacred spaces. In fact, she bit her tongue a lot to keep from flirting with him. Flirting was her default setting and he was pretty damn irresistible so all her instincts just spun and sparkled around him, wanting to attract his attention, engage him in banter or sexual congress. She wanted to tease him and tickle him and kiss him and jump him, to be truthful. Instead, she walked beside him, not touching him.
Not touching him was harder than she thought it would be. It required concentrate thought, intention. Because instinctively she reached for Brandon.
As if he were hers.
The mosque itself was stunning, like something from a fairy tale, all white with minarets, intricate marble friezes and columns. The interior was so green, so colorful with lively tile mosaics and a high, airy ceiling figured in a multitude of colors as well. There was a hush to all that ornate space. It felt hallowed and silent and she wanted to look everywhere at once. She tried to memorize the details of this surreal, watercolor spot where she stood so near to Brandon but never touching him. It threw into relief for her the distance between them, between her feelings and his plan to secure an inheritance.
Marj couldn’t believe she was in this place, so exotic and unforgettable, with such a man and she was making herself miserable. So she made up her mind to quit. She had a strong will and she knew she could do it. So she made an admiring murmur over a mosaic and Brandon smiled his approval and all at once she was in a much better mood.
After they finished the tour, she told him she wanted lunch but his phone rang, and he had to go to an impromptu meeting. He suggested she go shopping and they would meet up at the Burj al Arab for dinner in the exclusive restaurant at nine. So Marj went off on her own and shopped at some exquisite stores, and sent photos to Britt of the rare silks and fine embroideries. She even picked up a jacket for Britt whose style ran more toward the conservative…this one was dark green, beautifully cut, with embroidered flowers at the cuffs and hem. It was a statement piece that would bewilder and delight her best friend.
It was great fun shopping for presents, she decided. But she would keep her vow and not buy anything for Brandon. Not even that pair of dangerously dark jeans that would cling to the shape of his ass like…she had better walk away. Marj picked up a couple of dresses, a wrap for the evening in case she needed to cover her shoulders for some reason. Back at the hotel, a long bath and some Snapchat with Britt and then she had several hours to kill.
Marj researched what she’d need to know tax-wise to set up a freelance marketing business. She looked a little for potential clients. She glanced, just glanced at her dating profile, changing the status to unavailable. Looking with a slight longing at all the likes and messages she’d had come in over the last few weeks. She should delete them. She shouldn’t think about how these were the types of guys she used to go out with, have fun, flirt and be complimented and dance and kiss and sometimes more, with no complications or drama or trying hard not to touch anyone or get her heart broken. It had been a much less complicated time in her life and she missed the carefree simplicity. She shut the app and looked at a flash sale online. Somehow the marked down designer shoes didn’t capture her imagination the way that bout of gleaming nostalgia had. Those easy days of fun and flings…she couldn’t get it off her mind. Sure, she’d been lonely, but it had been a lot less painful than this shadow of a relationship, this one-sided infatuation with a man who could never trust her.
She got ready, almost by rote, applying eyeliner, pinning up her curls, wriggling into a bandage dress that was slightly tighter than it had been when she was going to the gym every day. She made a note in her phone that she would, come hell or high water, spend at least ninety minutes daily working out. She would not skip it. Would. Not. Skip. Marj wasn’t going to let herself go in the name of protecting her heart...it wouldn’t matter what size or shape she was, that size or shape, she was painfully certain, would still want Brandon Cates.