"Yeah, do you remember an e-mail that Ophelia sent you a week or so before I was turned?"
Jane peered over the folder at me. "A profanity-filled rant where she told me it was none of my blanking business who she blanking had contact with when it wasn't on the blanking campus that she rarely blanking left since I wouldn't let her own a blanking car and if I had blanking questions I could blanking well call her myself? And then explicit instructions to go blank myself? And then, oddly, with the list of her contacts in the area attached?"
I read over the e-mail. "That sounds about right."
"Yes, it was memorable. But I sent her back a response saying I had no clue what she was talking about. She didn't reply, and I figured she was either embarrassed, which wasn't likely, or had realized she was mistaken and had already moved on to the next person on her curse-out list."
"And you didn't punish her for being disrespectful to you?"
Jane waggled her hand. "Eh, considering Ophelia's previous interactions, the ‘go blank yourself' e-mail was actually pretty cordial."
"Really?" I winced, mentally counting the number of creatively employed four-letter words. "So I'm assuming that this e-mail should be included in her rehab progress file?"
Jane nodded. "Yes, just mark it ‘Informational only, not for sentence consideration.' "
I gave her a little salute. "That sounds vaguely official. Do you want to include some note about what led to the ranty e-mail?"
"I don't know what led to the ranty e-mail."
"But I remember her talking about it. She said you sent Tina an e-mail asking for a list of her known associates in the area around the college. She was . . . not pissed, really, I think she was kind of hurt that you would be suspicious when she was making every effort to behave well."
Jane frowned. "I never sent Tina an e-mail like that."
"If you didn't ask her for the list of Ophelia's contacts, who did?"
She shrugged. "It's probably some shady business associate of Ophelia's trying to make new Facebook friends or something. Just make a note in the file about your recollections of the situation."
"Will do."
"Oh, and speaking of shady friends, I noticed that you added another asterisk to the nope list?" Jane held up a sheaf of paper from my out-box. "And a note. Dr. Fortescue has a PhD in ‘babbling loony.' "
"I stand by my statement," I told her primly.
"I didn't know you could get a degree in ‘babbling loony.' "
"It's one of those lesser-known majors," I said. "Like French literature or pottery."
"This guy will not stop." She sighed even while she laughed. "He's been calling me for months. And he doesn't seem to get that I don't have room in my schedule for every babbling loony who has something to sell us. He's like a telemarketer who just won't give up. And I say that as a former telemarketer who gave up very easily." When I arched my brows, she shook her head. "Long story."
"Well, you might want to let security know that he's threatening to show up and wait for you in the parking lot so you'll have to listen to him."
Jane snorted. "Well, let him try. Parking-lot fisticuffs in this town tend to go badly for nonvampires."
"How about I let the security office know that he's planning on waiting for you in the parking lot?"
Jane smiled indulgently at me. "I'll let them know. Trust me, I've learned not to take chances with these things."
"Thank you. I feel better now."
Jane put her hand on my shoulder. "No, thank you. You're doing a really good job here, Meagan. My schedule has never been so well organized. Your e-mails are clear and concise, without overloading me with information. And you always remember to stock my office mini fridge with those single-serve packets of Hershey's Blood Additive that I like so very much."
I grinned at her. "Thanks, Jane."
The elevator dinged. She smiled warmly. "And to reward you for all that hard work, I think you deserve to go on a little outing."
I groaned. "Every time you use that voice, I end up learning a life lesson."
I turned to see Libby, the sweet blond soccer-mom vamp. She sped up as she approached Jane, practically skipping as she threw her arms around her.
"Hey!" she cried. "It's official! Thanks to all of the clients you recommended me to-Southern Comforts, Sam Clemson's contracting business, the free clinic, and Gabriel's random businesses-I have replaced all of the customers I lost after I was turned, plus at least twenty percent. And because vampires value honest bookkeepers, I can charge them more money. I'm financially solvent! I can afford to buy Danny the brand-name macaroni and cheese and everything!"