He couldn’t really thrust in this position, but he started to move his hips, and she matched his motion as best she could. There was nothing at all between them—nothing in the world—and she’d never experienced anything so powerful.
She was so high on emotions that she wasn’t even aware of her body building up toward a climax, but it was—very slowly. Peter wasn’t rushing, wasn’t pushing them toward the end. All of his touches were tender, loving, making her feel safe. Protected. Adored.
Her orgasm surprised her, since she hadn’t been aware it was coming. She froze and then shook through the spasms, her cry of release lost in his mouth. As soon as she clamped down around him, he lost his control, and his climax took him just after hers.
They were still holding onto each other as their bodies relaxed, and he kept kissing her—very softly now.
“I love you, Kelly,” he said at last. “And that’s never going to change.”
“I love you too,” she admitted, knowing it was the truth. “But I’m really scared.”
“I know you are.” He released a long breath as he let her go. They hadn’t used a condom, so she felt a gush of wetness between her legs as he pulled out. “But maybe you can think about it. I want you to be with me in Eden Manor, and I’m always going to want that. Maybe it wouldn’t mean turning your back on everything else in your life.”
His words reminded her of home—the old house, her grandmother, her sisters, the Kelly she’d always been—and with the images came a familiar spiral of deep fear. They’d been her security all her life, her identity. Without them, she’d be throwing herself off a cliff, having no idea what was waiting at the end of the drop.
“I’ll think about it,” she said.
He relaxed, smiling as he kissed her one more time. “There’s no rush. I’m not going anywhere.”
But that wasn’t true. In a few weeks, he’d probably be moving up here, as long as the sale went through and Harrison Damon approved of the business plan and wanted to invest.
There was an end date fast approaching. The knowledge used to be a comfort, but now it terrified her even more.
Peter turned his head to look at the clock. “I’ve got to meet the first contractor in twenty minutes. I need to get going. Did you want to come with me?” He’d arranged to meet with three different contractors in the area this evening, so he could put hard numbers into the business plan.
She’d been planning to be with him, so she could hear the appraisals and ideas and give him her input. But she couldn’t seem to move, much less make herself get up, get dressed, and get back into the car to think about renovations.
“I think I’ll stay here, if that’s okay,” she said, searching his face for any sign of disappointment. “I need to…to process everything.
“That’s fine.” He smiled at her. “Process all you want.”
She smiled back at him, doing her best to hide the fear that was rising inside her. She must have been mostly successful, since Peter looked relaxed, sated, almost happy as he pulled his clothes back together and slid on his shoes.
He leaned over the bed to kiss her again before he left.
When the door closed behind him, she hugged herself, wondering when she’d started trembling.
In Peter’s arm, she’d felt so good, so loved, so much more than she’d ever felt. But also so vulnerable, so naked.
She’d always known that losing Peter would be too much to take, but now she realized it would utterly break her. If she committed herself to him, fully the way he wanted, then he would become the center of her world, everything would rest in him.
Her world would be remade.
She sat up in bed, squeezing herself with her arms, so scared it made her dizzy. She needed to go home, to what she knew and had always loved, where things didn’t change in such terrifying ways, where she knew exactly what to expect.
Without even making a decision, acting only on instinct, she scrambled out of the bed and pulled her clothes back on.
Then she found her phone, looked up a number, and called a taxi to take her home.
Peter would be a few hours with the contractors.
She’d be halfway home by the time he came back.
She couldn’t let herself think about what he’d feel when he returned to an empty room. She would call him. She would explain.
But she’d always been a Beaufort, and she couldn’t be anyone else.
***
“Wait a minute,” Deanna said, leaning forward on the love-seat near the fireplace. “Wait a minute, slow down. I know you’re upset, but it sounds like you’re being stupid.”