“Don’t be what? Don’t be Kelly? Don’t be a Beaufort? Don’t be who I’ve always been? Is that what you’re asking?”
He started to reply but her expression changed suddenly. “Sorry.” She rubbed at her face and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Peter. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just…I’m just surprised and upset.”
He sighed in relief at her more composed tone. “I know you are. I didn’t think you’d be so surprised.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve been crazy about you for a long time.”
She shot him a quick look. “How long?”
He gave a half shrug. “I don’t know. Years.”
“So you went into this marriage thinking…hoping…”
“Hoping it would last. Yeah.”
Instead of the softening he’d been hoping for, her shoulders stiffened. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know. I knew you weren’t in the same place, so I didn’t want to move too fast.”
“So all this time, you’ve been thinking…waiting…trying to make me fall for you?”
He was beginning to feel defensive, like he’d done something to be ashamed of. “What’s wrong with that?”
She swallowed hard and looked away. “Nothing. Just that you’ve been trying to do this marriage on your own, the way you always have.”
“I have not! I just told you I wanted us to do this together!”
“On your terms. In your plans.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Peter. You’ve always been my friend, and I love you. But I don’t think I can leave my whole life in Savannah for this.”
He started to reply, but then snapped his mouth shut, suddenly realizing that nothing he said would make a difference.
He’d assumed that her resistance would be easily overcome, but he’d been wrong about that.
Maybe she loved him, but she didn’t love him enough. She didn’t love him the way he loved her.
He should have waited a few more weeks, but he’d already tipped his hand, and there was no going back now.
He was still going to move forward with Eden Manor. It had been his dream for too long to turn back now.
He would just be doing it alone.
“Peter, I’m sorry,” Kelly began, her voice cracking. “I didn’t mean—”
“It’s fine,” he said, turning on the engine, his eyes focused in front of him. “I’m sorry I put you on the spot. You can think about it, and we’ll talk later.”
“Okay. I didn’t mean to hurt you. That’s the last thing I wanted to do.”
He knew that was true too, and it made the whole thing hurt even more.
Eleven
They drove back in silence—that heavy, aching silence that unmistakably spoke louder than words.
Kelly held herself very still, managing not to cry, although Peter’s frozen presence beside her was like a wound in her chest, in her heart.
They were staying at a B&B about ten minutes away. It was a no-frills place, chosen for the night only because it was the accommodation closest to Eden Manor. Kelly couldn’t believe she would have to spend the night with Peter, alone in a small room, after what had just happened between them.
She couldn’t believe she’d thought this marriage would ever go as they planned.
Evidently, he’d wanted more out of it from the very beginning, and he’d never shared that with her. The knowledge that he loved her that way—that he’d loved her that way for a long time—was thrilling and overwhelming and absolutely terrifying.
It was all too much to process so she focused on maintaining her emotional control, minute after minute until they finally reached the B&B.
When he put the car into park, Peter turned in this seat, as if he were going to say something.
She waited, barely breathing, desperately hoping that whatever he said would miraculously fix things.
Then he gave his head a little shake and looked down to unbuckle his seatbelt.
Kelly released her pent breath.
The next hour was spent in niceties, as they greeted their host and hostess, were shown to their room, and listened to a well-practiced spiel about local sites, restaurants, and shopping.
When they were finally alone, the door of their room closed behind them, Kelly’s legs couldn’t seem to hold her up. It wasn’t even four in the afternoon yet, but she was utterly exhausted. She collapsed onto the bed—which was old but not an antique.
Peter stood and watched her for a minute, his eyes deep and speaking.
“Peter, don’t,” Kelly managed to say.
“Don’t what?”
“Look at me that way.”