Accidental Bride(39)
She couldn’t believe she’d just done this with Peter. She couldn’t believe how completely both of them had lost control.
And she couldn’t believe how much she wanted to do it again.
She always wanted to be this close to him.
When he finally picked himself up to take care of the condom, he was watching her closely.
She smiled at him. “That was way better than teenage sex,” she said, pleased that her voice was almost light.
He grinned back at her. “That was way better than any sex I’ve ever had.”
It was the truth. She could see it in his face. “Maybe that’s because you’ve never been on a honeymoon before.”
***
Peter had to take a minute in the bathroom to pull himself together.
He’d managed not to lose it physically, but his emotions were completely out of control.
This was exactly what he’d wanted, but he still couldn’t really believe it was happening. And underlying the surge of joy and pleasure was a little sliver of fear—that this could all be taken away, that she might change her mind, that it didn’t mean to her what it meant to him.
She wanted to have sex with him tonight, but that didn’t mean she would always want it.
And it didn’t mean she was in love with him.
So he splashed water on his face and breathed deeply until he felt like he could think reasonably again. Then he went back into the bedroom.
Kelly was still lying under the covers. She smiled at him from the pillow, her hair in a messy tumble around her face and shoulders.
At least she was smiling. At least she hadn’t immediately pulled back.
“So what do you think?” he asked softly, going over to sit down on the bed beside her.
“About what?” She must be feeling a little nervous, since her expression was hesitant beneath her smile.
“You know what.”
“I’m not sure…I’m not sure how that even happened.”
He couldn’t just burst out how helplessly he was in love with her. She wasn’t ready to hear it. She would get scared and pull away from him. He had to be so careful. “I think it was probably natural. We’ve always been close, and now we’re married.”
“But I didn’t think you were even attracted to me.”
“Well, that’s crazy. Of course, I’m attracted to you.”
She blushed slightly. “I didn’t know that.”
“I know you didn’t. I didn’t want it to complicate our friendship.”
“But this is going to complicate it, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know. It doesn’t have to.”
Her smile faded. “So this was just a one-time thing that didn’t mean anything?”
“Is that what you want?” He wasn’t sure what he would do if she said yes. He would probably have to drink himself into a stupor.
“No. Not really.”
He let out a breath. “Me either. So let’s just see what happens.” Finally able to relax, he got into bed beside her and stretched out.
She rolled over to look at him. “I don’t want anything to get in the way of our friendship, Peter. You mean too much to me.”
“You mean too much to me too. We’ll just agree that our friendship has to survive, no matter what else happens.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
She trusted him. He could see it in her face. “Okay. Then we’ll definitely stay friends and the rest we’ll just play by ear.”
It was as good as he could hope for. He reached out and pulled her into his arms, relieved when she nestled against him.
He enjoyed holding her that way until both of them dozed off. When he woke up again, it was still dark in the room, but he had the strongest feeling that Kelly was awake.
He blinked a few times and felt her moving beside him.
“You okay?” he asked, wondering if the hours that had passed had changed her mind, made her pull away from him.
“Yeah. What about you?”
“I’m good.” He wished he could see her face more clearly, but it was too dark in the room.
She hesitated for a minute before she finally asked, “Are you sure this is going to work out?”
“Why wouldn’t it?”
“I don’t know. It scares me when things change. I just…don’t want to lose you.”
“You’re not going to lose me, Kelly. I’ll never let that happen.”
“Okay.”
She sounded so small and worried that he pulled her into his arms, and he let out a sigh of relief when she wrapped her arms around in him response.
He found her lips in the dark and kissed her until she was soft and eager against him. Whatever her worries—and those were natural and expected—she obviously still wanted him as much as she had that evening.