Obviously, that was out of the question, but she was still intensely aware of Peter watching her as she walked to the bed.
He’d been doing something on his phone while she was in the bathroom, but he put it down now to get ready for bed himself.
There was only a small television in the room, but it was after ten in the evening, so she didn’t feel the need to kill time with TV. After they’d arrived, they’d unpacked and walked around the grounds, and then they’d gone back to the house to have a glass of wine with the owners and a couple of the other guests. It had been a nice evening, and Kelly was happy as she climbed under the covers and turned out the lamp on her nightstand.
She heard Peter in the bathroom. He was obviously taking a shower. He always took a shower before bed. She couldn’t help but like how clean and fresh he smelled when he got into bed afterwards.
She got so excited, waiting for him to come out, that she had to tell herself to get a grip.
In about ten minutes, he came out of the bathroom with damp hair, wearing nothing but a pair of gray pajama pants.
Instead of the normal shiver of appreciation at the sight of him, she felt the oddest clench—of her heart, her whole body. The feelings shouldn’t go together—since they were contradictory. But she felt both of them at the same time. Longing. And possession.
Peter was her husband. Only hers.
And she wanted him so much.
He smiled when he saw her looking at him. “You need anything?”
“Nah. I’m kind of tired.”
“Me too.” After putting his phone on the nightstand, he turned off the light and got into bed beside her.
He smelled just as he always did—like the soap he used. She found herself moving toward him unconsciously.
“What are you thinking about, all intense like that?” he asked, sounding genuinely curious.
It would be easier if he weren’t so observant, if he didn’t know her quite so well. “I’m not intense.”
He chuckled and reached an arm out, drawing her closer so she was right beside him. He didn’t usually do that. He’d never done that. They always stayed safely on their own sides of the bed.
But she wanted to be close to him—so much that she couldn’t roll away, no matter how much wiser it would be. She let out a breath and lifted one arm to rest it on his chest.
His manner was still casual. He wasn’t making a move on him. He was just being companionable or something.
She liked it. A lot.
He kept his arm around her as he said, “I don’t know why you try to lie to me.”
She had to think back to remember what she’d said. “I wasn’t all intense,” she objected, when it came back to her.
“Yes, you were.” He stroked her hair gently. Since it was loose, it was covering the length of her back. His touch felt incredibly good. She had the silliest desire to purr. “What were you thinking about?”
She sighed. She wasn’t going to tell him the whole truth, but she could tell him at least part of it. “I was just thinking about how strange it is to be married.”
“I don’t think it’s been so bad.” His body had tightened slightly. She could easily tell, since she was pressed up against it.
“I didn’t say it had been bad. Just strange. Different.”
There was a pause before he answered. “Yeah. It has been different. For sure.”
“Do you think we’ll be able to go back to being friends—afterwards, I mean?”
“Why wouldn’t we?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes…things get in the way.”
“I don’t see why anything needs to get in the way of us. I’m not going to let you slip out of my life, even if you feel embarrassed.”
She liked the sound of it. She liked the idea of his holding on tight, not letting her get away. Not that she wanted to go anywhere. “I’m not embarrassed.”
Peter chuckled, still stroking her hair. “Sometimes you are. You were when I came into the room just now.”
It was better that he thought she was embarrassed than that he know she was thinking about sex. “Well, it’s just different, seeing you in your pajamas.”
He didn’t answer. For a moment, she felt a strange tension from him. She didn’t understand it, but it went away almost as soon as she recognized it.
She felt his body relax as he adjusted his arm, making her more comfortable against him. She should probably roll away, but she didn’t want to.
“Things feel different in a lot of ways,” she said, following the course of her thoughts.
“What does?” He sounded slightly tense again.
“Just things. I do, I mean. It’s so strange to come here where no one knows us, and they all think it’s perfectly normal that we would be married. They don’t look at us like we’re crazy or too young or not thinking clearly or not right for each other. It feels strange to me to be just a normal woman, who might be married to you.”