Absolutely Famous(37)

Daddy is gone for a couple of months about three times a year, but he’s home now. Well, he’ll be home later, but he’s not gone away filming. Mommy is away though. She was here until yesterday, then had to go out of town. It’s not for a movie, but no one will tell me where she went. Mommy was home when I left for school yesterday and when I came home she was gone.

People think it’s so cool having movie stars for parents. But it’s lonely and kind of scary. They’re never home, and when they are, we’re always surrounded by security or reporters or fans.

There’s hardly ever a time that we drive through our front gate when there aren’t at least ten random people hanging out on the street, trying to see my mom or dad. If there’s a big movie coming out or a big story, there’s even more than ten. Sometimes, they attack our car with their fists, screaming and crying and shoving cameras against the windows. Today there was a pretty big crowd.

I must have fallen asleep because it’s dark out and my Daddy is sitting on my bed next to me, reading a script. He looks tired. He’s wearing a wrinkled T-shirt and loose blue pajama pants and he looks like he hasn’t shaved in a few days.

“Hey Heartbreaker,” he says gently, smiling at me as he puts down the papers.

“Daddy!” I hug my Daddy hard. He makes me feel safe when he’s home. “Why are you in my room?”

He kisses my head and hugs me back. “I wanted to be with you. So, what happened at school today, Syd?”

Anna must have told him that I was mad when I got home from school.

“Nothing.” I don’t want to tell him what Jason Bennett said at school. He’ll be angry.

Daddy pushes my shoulders back so he can see me. I look at my Daddy’s face; we have the same blue eyes, and the same full lips. That’s what people say, anyway.

“You can tell me Sydney. If you’re upset then I want to help you.”

Tears course down my cheeks. I’m embarrassed to tell him. He wipes away my tears with his big thumbs and smiles.

“So brave, my little Heartbreaker, not wanting to worry me so you keep it all inside. You don’t have to be alone, Syd. Even though your mother and I aren’t with you as much as we would like, we’ll still always be your parents and always love you.”

I take a deep breath. I’m not good at sharing my feelings. It’s because I don’t trust a lot of people. My Mommy said it’s normal to not trust anyone when you’re famous. I’m not famous though, so I don’t understand why I’m this way too.

“Jason Bennett,” I start and then crumple my face up in disgust.

“His dad is Joel Bennett, the director, right?” Daddy asks.

“Yes.”

“Go on.” Daddy rubs my back and tucks my long auburn hair behind my ear.

“He said,” my voice cracks a little, “He said that a bunch of people tried to kill Mommy.” Daddy’s eyes get bigger, then he looks sad. Sad for me. “Is that why she’s gone? Jason said she left town to hide from the bad people.”

He pulls me back into a big hug. “Heartbreaker,” he whispers in my ear. “You don’t have to worry about those kinds of things. God, I could literally beat Joel Bennett for speaking about that in front of his son.” Daddy’s voice is low and scary and his arms are wrapped around me tight.

“Is someone trying to kill Mommy?” I ask, my voice pleading with my dad to tell me. “I’m scared, Daddy.”

“Syd, it’s not like that. You … you’re just not old enough … damn!” Daddy lets go of me and gets up, pacing back and forth in front of my bed. He’s making fists with his hands. Yes, Daddy is definitely mad.

“You’re a kid, Sydney! You should be riding your bike in the driveway and jumping rope and going to birthday parties!” He’s walking faster, and he’s talking faster too. “You shouldn’t be involved in any of this,” Daddy waves his hands around his head wildly. “This… this stuff!”

“I’m not allowed to ride my bike in the driveway, Daddy.”

“I know that! That’s the problem, Sydney!” he yells. “You can’t do anything normal! Shit!”

I flinch back. Why is he mad at me? I start crying harder. “Don’t yell at me Daddy!” I whimper pathetically.

“I’m not yelling at you baby.” Daddy is kneeling next to my bed, cupping my face in his warm hands. He’s only an inch from my face, staring at me with a miserable look in his eyes. “I just wish you could grow up like I did. Free to do what you want and go where you want without fear. Do kid stuff, not hide in a huge house behind gates and bodyguards.”