While I felt relieved knowing that I would in fact see her again, I didn’t think it would make much of a difference.
“But…she doesn’t want me anymore,” I half-whispered.
“Of course she does,” Shawn said, trying to reassure me. “I saw the way she was looking at you.”
“No,” I moaned. “She accepted my apology and said that now we could get on with our lives.”
“I’m sure she didn’t mean it,” Matt said, but he didn’t sound very certain.
“Why don’t you go outside and talk to her?” Shawn suggested. “You can bring her jacket for her.” He held it out to me and smiled at me. “Nothing ventured, right?”
“OK,” I agreed, taking a deep breath. Armed with Julia’s jacket, I went outside, noticing the girls walking around the corner. I followed them and was about to make my presence known when Sophia’s voice rang out.
“Come on, Julia. Give the guy another chance!”
“Why should I?”
“Because he came to a gay club just to talk to you,” Megan said. “The guy may have acted like an idiot, but that takes balls.”
“Yeah,” Sophia supplied. “And he even got new clothes and everything. You can’t tell me you don’t think he looks good tonight.”
There was a pause. I knew that I shouldn’t be eavesdropping but I couldn’t bring myself to walk around the corner just yet. Julia was like a closed book and I just wanted to know her better.
“He always looks good,” she said quietly. “But it doesn’t matter. It’s over.”
Oh God, no.
“Why?” Sophia asked. “He apologized and he made sure you got an A.”
“You don’t understand,” Julia said. “I only want an A if Stephen thinks that I deserve it. He’s the best teacher I’ve ever had and I respect his opinion, you know? I worked so hard on that paper and I thought it was great.”
“It is great,” Megan interrupted. “I read it, remember?”
“Yeah, but Stephen didn’t think so, and it made me question my abilities. I can’t let a guy have that kind of power over me.”
“But he gave it to another professor to grade,” Sophia said.
“That doesn’t really matter. I mean, if he only did it because I had a bitch fit and called him a jackass or whatever, then I don’t want the new grade.”
“I think you should let him explain,” Megan said. I was surprised to hear that she was on my side.
“No, it’s better this way.” Julia said. “A clean break, before someone gets hurt.”
“I think someone is already hurt,” Sophia said quietly. “Did you see the look on Stephen’s face when we walked outside?”
There was another pause and I wondered if I had really looked as devastated as I felt after Julia had walked away from me.
“He likes you, Jules,” Sophia said softly.
“I know,” she said quietly.
“And you like him, right? I mean, even with the whole grade debacle.”
“Of course. I mean, what’s not to like? He’s hot and sweet at the same time. He’s a great cook, a fantastic lay, and he pulled my goddamn chair out for me like we were in a black and white movie. He should have a girlfriend and not a fuck buddy. He should be with that woman he went on a date with.”
I don’t want her. I want you.
“But I thought you said he didn’t want to see her again,” Megan asked.
“No, he said that he didn’t want to see two people at the same time,” Julia corrected. “Now he can see her exclusively and I can get back to my regular routine.”
“I don’t think he would have come to a gay bar if it didn’t matter to him which of the two of you he’s seeing,” Sophia ventured. “I think you should give him a chance. Not all guys are assholes. You have to let that go, Jules. Stephen treats you right and he really likes you.”
Please don’t say anymore! She’ll run in the opposite direction if she knows how much.
I couldn’t wait any longer and risk that Sophia would mention the word “love.”
“Julia?” I called out as if I’d just walked outside. I turned the corner and all three girls stared at me.
“I, uh, I brought your jacket. It’s a little chilly tonight,” I said, handing it to her.
“Yeah, we should get back to the guys,” Sophia said, practically pulling Megan with her around the corner, leaving me alone with Julia.
“So, um…how have you been?” I asked awkwardly, burying my hands in my pockets.
“Pretty fucking bad,” she said, taking drag of her cigarette.