Brian raised his eyebrows.
“Here’s what happened,” I began. “I noticed this girl in my American lit class. At first, I didn’t like her at all…”
I told him the whole story, only leaving out the details of our physical relationship.
“…And then she swore at me and told me never to touch her again, and left,” I finished, draining the rest of my wine. God, I felt miserable. As I recounted the events, I could see how wrongly I’d acted.
“Wow.” Brian exhaled, leaning back in his chair. “You’ve had quite the few weeks.”
“You can say that again. I want to make it right, but I don’t think it’ll fix anything if I grade the paper,” I hedged.
My friend pondered for a few moments, rubbing his forehead.
“Yeah, you’re probably right. She’ll mistrust your motives, even if the paper is as good as you say. I’ll grade it for you.”
Relief flooded through me. “I was hoping you’d say that. It really is great.”
“She sounds like quite a girl,” Brian mused.
“She is…she’s wonderful. A bit crass at times, definitely not someone I’d ever imagined falling for, but—”
“But you did,” he finished.
I nodded. “I hope you don’t think less of me. I never meant for this to happen, but I’m glad it did.”
Brian shook his head. “I’ve known you for a long time. You don’t exactly wear your heart on your sleeve, Stephen. If you really like this girl, then she must be something special.” He drew a breath. “I don’t necessarily think pursuing a relationship with her is the best idea, though, with her being your student and all.”
“I know,” I conceded. “But…I can’t really change that, can I?”
“Well, she could transfer to my class, but not until next semester, of course. That would certainly remove some of the complications, wouldn’t you agree?”
I hadn’t thought of that. “Yes, it would, but I don’t know if she’d consider that. She won’t even speak to me. How do I get her to do that?”
Brian held up his hands, chuckling. “I don’t think I can help you with that, buddy. I mean, I haven’t been single in over a decade.”
“Lucky you,” I mumbled. I exhaled, running my fingers through my hair. “How did everything become this complicated? I slept with my student, for God’s sake! That’s just about the worst thing a professor can do, isn’t it?”
“Eh, I’m sure it happens more than people realize. Even though it’s against the rules,” Brian said, shrugging. “Dean Michaels and his wife, for example.”
“Seriously?” This was news to me. John Michaels was the dean of the Romance Languages department, and a very well-respected member of the faculty. I’d seen him and his considerably younger wife at a mixer once. They seemed very happy.
“Well, the official story is that they didn’t get together until after she graduated, of course,” Brian continued. “But…you know, people talk.”
“I’ve never heard it.”
“You don’t really socialize that much,” Brian said, without judgment.
“I guess not. So I’m not a complete degenerate for wanting to pursue a younger woman?”
Brian laughed. “Whatever makes you happy, Stephen, is fine by me.”
“Yeah.” I chuckled. “Thanks.”
“It’ll be all right,” he said. “Email me your Julia’s paper and I’ll look at it.”
My Julia. If only.
“Thank you,” I said, stifling a yawn. “Do you want to finish playing?”
Brian glanced at the chessboard, grinning. “Nah, your head’s not in the game. I’m three moves away from checkmate already.”
“Another time, then.”
“You’re on.” He smiled. “Let me walk you out.”
Chapter 17
As soon as I got home, I emailed a copy of Julia’s paper to Brian. I tried calling her again, and it rang this time, but there was no answer.
All weekend I tried to get hold of her, but she was obviously ignoring my texts and phone calls. I checked her Facebook profile, but there were no new status updates. I contemplated going by her apartment to see if she was home, but decided against it, at least until I got the paper back from Brian.
Sunday was agony. In the midst of my inner turmoil, I started wondering if I would’ve been better off never starting this arrangement with Julia. If I had simply driven away that first night after dropping her off at her apartment, I wouldn’t be in this mess—and I would probably be going out with Lily again.