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Absolute Beginners(6)

By:S.J. Hooks


“Please don’t say it!” I interrupted, holding up my hand.

“—proper lady to go out with you,” he guffawed.

Oh, please. I know what he was going to say.

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.”

“Think about the jeans, though?”

“I’m sure you’ll remind me if I forget,” I muttered.

He patted my shoulder sympathetically.

“The next time Mom offers to take you clothes shopping, just say no.”

“Fine.”

“Look, why don’t you come with me to the bar and have a beer. We can grab some dinner on the way,” he suggested.

I hesitated.

“It’s Opening Day for the Giants, and it’s sure to bring some women to the bar. That’s our baseball team, by the way.”

“I know,” I said, rolling my eyes, although I probably wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t been born and raised here in San Francisco.

I considered turning him down. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy spending time with Matt, because I did. It was his bar, or any bar for that matter, that had me hesitating. I wasn’t good in social situations. Still, I knew it would mean a lot to him if I came along.

“All right,” I agreed. “But just for one beer, OK?”

Matt’s face lit up.

“Really? Awesome! Do you want to stop by your place for a change of clothes?”

“No.”

“OK, just…err, lose the jacket, at least, and untuck your shirt.”

I sighed and did what he told me.

“The bowtie?”

“No. Anything else?” I asked sarcastically.

“Yeah, don’t do that weird hair part on the side. It makes you look like you have a combover,” he said, ruffling my unruly hair.

* * *

I was already regretting my decision when we pulled up at Matt’s bar later that night and I saw how many cars were parked outside. The place was packed and I could feel myself getting nervous. We stepped inside and Matt was greeted enthusiastically from all corners. Apparently everyone in the bar knew who he was. I didn’t care for attention, unless it was in a setting I could control, like my classroom.

“Come on, bro. I have my own table,” Matt said, ushering me over to what seemed like the best seats in the house. They had a great view overlooking the whole bar, in direct view of the large TV on the wall.

“I’ll get you a beer,” he said. “Any preference?”

I shook my head. I couldn’t tell one beer from the other to save my life. Looking around the place, I was surprised to see that there were a lot of women here, as he had promised. I knew that Matt dated a lot of different girls but none exclusively, and it seemed he liked it that way. I saw him embrace several women on his way back to where I was sitting, and I had to admit that I felt a little jealous of him. My stepbrother was well-liked by everyone and had a way with the opposite sex that I had never possessed.

“Here you go,” he said, handing me a bottle. “See anything you like?”

He motioned around the crowded bar. I shrugged and started picking at the label, wondering how long I’d have to stay to fulfill my obligation to Matt.

“What about her?” he asked, nodding in the direction of a woman with very large breasts and a very short skirt.

Uh, no.

“Just kidding,” he said with a grin. “I know her, and she’s definitely not boring—if you know what I mean.”

“I hope you used protection,” I muttered. “You can’t be too careful.”

Matt gave me a pointed look.

“Yes, Stephen, sometimes you can be too careful.”

I didn’t ask him what he meant. A rock song came on and I heard loud cheering in the back of the place. Both Matt and I turned in our seats to see what was going on, and I almost fell off my chair at what I saw. Ms. Wilde was dancing on a table with two other girls, and they were surrounded by a huge group of men, who were all looking up at them and catcalling.

Tonight, she was wearing a dress I hadn’t seen before: a red strapless contraption that I had no idea how it was being held up and knee-high leather boots. Her hair was in a high ponytail, and she wore red lipstick and the same black smudgy stuff around her eyes as she had in class.

“Holy shit, that redhead is hot!” Matt exclaimed next to me, letting out a low whistle. He was referring to Ms. Wilde’s friend, a tall, curvy girl with long, red hair. The third girl was short with dark skin and jet-black hair. The three had captured the attention of every man in the place with their dance routine on the table. I had the sudden urge to leave the bar before she noticed me. I didn’t want to see her—although I had to admit that she looked a lot better tonight than she usually did in class.