Absentminded Angel(Divine Creek Ranch 20)(98)

“Ouch,” Kendry said as he winced.

Jared grimaced and said, “Was that jumping cactus he landed on?”

“Looked like it.”

The two men tussled as the law enforcement officers who weren’t occupied dealing with the kidnappers moved to circle them, weapons at the ready. Kemp had been standing beyond all the hubbub, cradling Whit and rocking him in his big arms, but once it became clear the two men had immobilized themselves in the cactus, he made his way across the parking lot, speaking soothing words to the baby, who was inconsolable.

Seeming unperturbed, Kemp fished the remote key fob from his jacket pocket and hit the button, unlocking the doors. Presley Ann made unintelligible sounds of urgency and Jared helped her down.

Opening the door meant they could hear all the caterwauling, crying, yelling, and fussing, but it was obvious all Presley Ann could see was her baby.

“There’s your mama now, little man,” Kemp cooed as he patted Whit’s back. “His diaper is soaked, sweetie. I’ll grab his diaper bag for you as soon as they let me.”

“Oh, sugar bear,” she whispered as she closed her bawling baby in her arms. He squeaked and hiccupped and then made a bleating sound as he recognized his mommy and began rooting.

“Thank you, Kemp,” she said as she gave them big man a tight one-armed hug that made him blush. “Thank you so much, and I’d really appreciate that diaper bag soon as you can get it. Would you excuse me a minute? He’s starving and somehow I’ve got to get him settled down enough to eat.”

Kemp nodded and opened the SUV’s door again for her. “No problem. We’ll make sure you have privacy.”

She climbed in and he closed her in and stood with them.

“Damned motherfuckin’ cactus thorns in my face!” one of the men hollered.

His companion groaned as he rolled in the cactus. “I got ’em in my balls, and I think you broke my dick when you landed on me. There’s big rocks in here! Owww! I need an ambulance!”

Hank was speaking into his radio as he walked over to them and then looked down at his phone and then held the radio back up to his mouth. “We have a positive identification. They’re gonna need first aid and possibly a trip to the emergency room. What? He said he broke his dick. We wouldn’t want him to say he suffered while in the custody of the Divine County Sheriff’s department, now would we?”

“Huh?” one of the miscreants said as they looked up at the crowd around them. “Shit.” He let his head fall back down and then squealed when he evidently got cactus prickles in the back of his head, too.

“Philip and Gordon Maxwell, you are under arrest—”

“But—but you were after them!” blurted one of the men, pointing at the middle aged couple who were being handcuffed.

“And what?” Hank said, looking at them like they were a special kind of stupid. “Did you think that meant you got a freebie? You revealed yourself, dumbasses. We weren’t even looking for you here. Apprehending the assholes responsible for poaching and slaughtering all those mustangs in Montana, besides making my wife’s life fucking miserable, is just a bonus for us. My only regret is that Jesse and Barry aren’t here to see you two go through that window all ‘Butch-and-Sundance.’”

Wyatt, one of the sheriff’s deputies, nodded and said, “But we got dash cams.”

Phil and Gord looked like they wanted to cry, and they did begin whining and hollering as they were extricated from the cactus by deputies and police officers clad in work gloves.

“Wait!” one of them said, squinting at Hank. “You’re the old fart who married Chubbs?”

Wyatt stumbled and the mouthy jackass landed back in the cactus on his butt. “Ow! You did that on purpose!”

Wyatt said, “My hand slipped. Oops.”

“Watch out for my balls!” Phil yelped as he cradled the prickly family jewels.

Gord whimpered. “I need a doctor, man, my dick is broke!”

Jared and Kendry could only look at each other and laugh.

Kemp spoke up and said, “Wish I’d known those dumbasses were at this location. I had duct tape in the glove box, and there was a bounty offered for their asses in Montana. Oh well, at least we got them, too.”

Kendry and Jared followed him over to the other police car as an ambulance arrived for Gord, the broke-dick guy.

The couple who had taken Whit were incensed that they were being charged with kidnapping. The man, Jules, said, “We were saving that innocent child from a perverted existence. We heard from Dorothy’s daughter that his mother intended to enter into an unholy union   with those men.” He spotted them and yelled. “We were saving that boy from being corrupted!”