Kendry held up his phone. “They can page us if there’s an emergency call. Looks like Whit’s asleep. Why don’t you put him in his crib for now and let us warm you up.” Jared knew Kendry could’ve clarified that statement but he didn’t bother, and Jared closed his eyes as the sense of need for her washed through him without resistance. When he opened his eyes, he saw the flush in her cheeks and her shaky draw of breath as she turned and nestled Whit into his crib.
Jared sat on the edge of her bed and gestured for her to take a seat in the rocker across from him. Kendry sat next to him as she settled in the rocker and whispered, “Why are you doing this? A warm shower is all I need.”
Jared lifted one of her cold ankles and slid the muddy wet shoe off and cradled her little foot in his hands. “Because we need this, kitten.”
“If you really knew me you wouldn’t think I’m much of a ‘kitten’ or anything else sweet, cuddly, and likable like that. You really don’t want to spend time with—”
Jared did the one thing that would distract her from saying such negative things about herself. He kissed her. Her soft squeal was muffled against his lips and her blue eyes flashed open wide before her eyelids slowly slid closed. He pulled back as she relaxed into the rocker and blinked up at him.
Kendry removed the other shoe and wrapped his hands around her foot, mirroring Jared’s actions. “We do, Presley Ann. We respect your need to provide for Whit, and to be independent. To see you succeed in your endeavor—” he said, pointing at the box containing the industrial sewing machine. “We want all those things for you. But we also want you. You refuse to believe that we want you, which is why you keep questioning why.”
“I don’t.”
Jared manipulated her ankle and her foot as he rubbed it, satisfied when it warmed up a bit. “You do. Answer me honestly. Are you punishing yourself?”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed and he handed her the bottle of water he’d placed on her night table for her earlier while she’d bathed Whit. Her lips parted as if she intended to speak but then closed them.
“Do you think by denying yourself personal happiness that you somehow balance the scales for all the wrong you think you’ve done?”
After taking a long drink from the bottle, she set it aside and then looked down at her pale hands and shrugged. “Maybe.” She looked at her son, asleep in his crib and then turned her blue gaze on both of them. “Months ago, I went to Grace and Lydia and several of the others and asked them to forgive me and they did, but…” She swallowed again and put her hands to her red cheeks. “Because of my selfishness, Whit’s father isn’t in his life. I can’t ever make up for that. The least I can do is give him the best possible mom I can, focused on his needs and taking care of him.”
Jared lowered her foot to the floor and Kendry followed suit. Jared reached out to grip the frame of the rocker seat. He slid her closer to them across the carpet until she was less than a foot from them. “What if we want to help make that happen?”
“Why would you? He’s another man’s child.”
Kendry stroked her cheek and leaned to within just a few inches of her. “Because he’s a part of you.”
“And what happens when things go sour between us? When he’s emotionally attached to you the way he would to a father figure? What then, Kendry?”
“You’re already planning on things going sour?” Jared asked huskily, hating the thought.
“I have to be prepared, Jared. He’s my responsibility, but you’ll be able to just walk away.” The way her voice caught on the last word tugged at his protective instincts.
Shaking his head, Jared cupped the back of her silky head. “The only way I’m walking away is if you make me, honey. None of this has been easy for us but it’s all been worth it, just to get to be around you. I want you so much sometimes it’s hard to breathe when I’m in your presence. The thought of walking away from you makes me feel as though I’ve been kicked in the gut. I’m not interested in a casual relationship with you. No friends with benefits. We’ve respected your boundaries and understood your issues, but all I see now is a woman punishing herself for every human error she’s ever committed.”
Wringing her hands together, she said, “I just want to save us all a lot of misery.”
Kendry took her hand in his and said, “Are you planning on giving Whit up to that couple who wanted him? To save him from the hardship of living with you?”
Her jaw dropped and she nearly blurted out her response but modulated her tone. “No!”